“Do Her Mixed Signals Mean She Wants Me Back?”
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The more you say, the creepier you sound. You have zero regard for this woman’s perspective, the only truth you are capable of accepting is your own. What kind of grown-ass man can’t handle being dumped after three months of a mostly online relationship at whatever ripe old undisclosed age? Nobody is saying you can’t be sad, but we have given advice, which is to accept that someone who wanted to be with you wouldn’t be breaking up with you (i.e., a very clear sign that it is over), stop contacting her, and move on. But that isn’t what you want to hear, so instead you’ll double down on why you’re right and everyone else is wrong.
If this woman wrote in for advice, there would be calls to have her document all of your behavior toward her in case she needs to get a restraining order one day. You sound that unhinged.
The more you say, the creepier you sound. You have zero regard for this woman’s perspective, the only truth you are capable of accepting is your own. What kind of grown-ass man can’t handle being dumped after three months of a mostly online relationship at whatever ripe old undisclosed age? Nobody is saying you can’t be sad, but we have given advice, which is to accept that someone who wanted to be with you wouldn’t be breaking up with you (i.e., a very clear sign that it is over), stop contacting her, and move on. But that isn’t what you want to hear, so instead you’ll double down on why you’re right and everyone else is wrong.
If this woman wrote in for advice, there would be calls to have her document all of your behavior toward her in case she needs to get a restraining order one day. You sound that unhinged.
Actually, we have you truth.
You personally attacked us all.
I wrote one slightly rude comment in response to your repeated attacks.
You reveal you’re in fact, an OLD LOSER TRYING TO DATE GIRLS ONLINE AND FAILING.
That is not the flex you think it is.
Thank you for the laughs. Totally thought you were like, 17-19 tops. Can’t stop chuckling. Good luck, dude. Great attitude. Top marks for comedy.
But yeah, the more of your responses I read, the more I feel like, maybe she was placating you, trying to let you down easy, because she’s fearful of how you would respond if she were completely honest, or if she simply said, look, this isn’t working for me, I wish you all the best. I could believe that she felt she needed to give you an explanation that would make you feel better about yourself and kind of “it’s not you, it’s me,” to keep you from getting angry and scary.
You haven’t take the blame. She’s not hot and cold, you are an old creep and she got a single clue.
Hi Kate, thank you for your kind response and advice. This is what I came here for. She has a lot going on in her life with kids, a new job, and her dad just recently had a heart attack. I guided her through this from afar and think I went wrong when I brought up to her that this is another reason, in a long distance relationship, that I need to be known on some level. She wouldn’t let anyone know about me and this was the most common argument we had. I felt that even if she is a private person, but claims to care about me, that a basic need for me to feel secure in a relationship was to mention that she has a boyfriend, even if vague just to show respect to me. Now away from the relationship I can more clearly see that this wall she put up was possibly due to not seeing me long term, even if she talked about us being together. She did break it off and I panicked and started negotiating with her. “I can give you space as I want you to healthy mentally. I just need some timeline and don’t want us to see other people while working on this.” This is where she ghosted me for over 3 days and I had to send a follow up text. I see where I went wrong as I just loved her so much and clearly was in denial of the rejection. She did write back after I sent the next text and seemed vague again but emphasized again that she “can’t be in a romantic relationship” and “can’t be in a healthy relationship right now.” I waited a day and responded with I would say a shorter message that wasn’t authentic in saying “I’m not really all that interested in you either,” and “probably just didn’t want to lose the companionship. Best of luck.” That was 3 days ago and we haven’t spoke since. I miss her badly but the reality of the situation is setting in and I need to move on.
Oh, I can see she totally was so into you. Wow, you’re right. She is insane. What 19 year old wouldn’t want to date an overweight 40 year old man who gets mad when you don’t tell your coworkers about him? Wow, I can’t believe a woman hasn’t locked you down yet. Unbelievable.
If you’re seeing someone for 3-4 months and they won’t tell their friends and family about you, that means you two are on very different pages about what it is. It doesn’t mean she should tell people about you to make you comfortable. It means she has a personal reason why she doesn’t want it known that she’s seeing you. And that is when you need to make a choice to walk away because you two want different things. NOT keep pushing her to tell people about you.
Thank you for the example of your poor reactions to her communication, that helps.
Restraining order? Are you kidding me? You are making threats against me as clearly I haven’t said anything along any lines against her in any way like that. She was very safe with me and often mentioned it to me. We argued due to what I mentioned and clearly we didn’t see eye to eye on certain things. We do care for each other and yes it is evident I wanted more in the relationship than she wanted. I was rejected and I accept that. I’m not unhinged, just going through lots of emotions and expected. I have taken blame here several times, even if a few times have mentioned things she could have communicated better. It’s over and I haven’t texted her/contacted her in any way, and I’m not going to. You can call me immature, a creep, whatever you want but shows your lack of character in understanding loss for someone else.
If you actually go back and read what everyone wrote before you blew up on them, we wrote the exact same things. In gentle tones, even. And explained the rationale behind the behavior calmly.
I’m sorry that as a middle aged man, you can’t get over 3-4 month long relationship that she wouldn’t let you call “dating.”
Your behavior was poor and immature, the multiple texts, the “I’m not into you either,” and whatever other poor responses to her communication. You do need to take accountability for poor and immature behavior, which it sounds like you basically are. We don’t have enough information to say you’re an immature or dangerous person, and you don’t have enough information to say someone on here is a hostile person, or any type of person.
