“Do Her Mixed Signals Mean She Wants Me Back?”
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LOL your loss for someone you tried to date online for 3-4 months, “if you could call it that.”
Seriously if a 20 year old woman was writing in about her older internet friend who wanted to be her bf, wouldn’t take no for an answer and shit angry when she didn’t communicate we would be telling her to document because you ARE acting as angry as incel men. Check yourself and your misogyny, sir.
Trying to date a woman twenty years younger than you and then blowing up when she dumps you and saying you weren’t interested anyway?
Maybe that’s why you asshole. Either you left out that huge detail- or you’re lying. So either way you’re a liar.
You should read “Cat Person.”
Long story short, she doesn’t want you back and you need therapy before you will ever have a successful relationship wi5 ano5er mentally stable Adult.
I agree I should have walked away and not pressed the issue. This is why originally I mentioned mixed messages because she would talk about a future with me and seemed to really be in love, but I do think a lot of it is commitment related issues as she had mentioned that her avoidant personality can result in procrastination and lack of preparedness. I also do think it may have been the age gap, although I would bring this up compassionately to her and say “I completely understand if the age gap is too significant and we may run into problems due to points of reference.” She would reply with saying “age doesnt matter to me at all, and my family wouldn’t care anyway.” Whether this was true or not it sounded convincing. But yes, it’s all in the rear view now. One more thing is one of our last conversations she said, “you are my best friend” and I said aww thank you baby. Then I thought about it later and asked her on the next call if this means she only wants a friendship and she said, “no I’m still attracted to you.” This is why I say that she was very confusing and may have had her reasons to be, but I just would have rather heard directness and I wouldn’t have chased her for clarity.
My genuine advice would be to not date someone 19 years younger than you (unless you’re like 70 or 80, then at that point do whatever.) if you want a long term relationship. Asking someone 19 years your junior to commit to someone from a completely different generation in a complete is not a winning prospect for a serious relationship.
There’s also an inherent difference in power dynamic that is inherently icky, but I don’t know if we’re ready for that conversation.
What threats have I made against you?
And yeah, if a guy I’ve been dating for three months is picking fights with me because I haven’t mentioned his existence to my all male coworkers (a detail you felt important enough to point out, but all it does is highlight your insecurities) and having “poor reactions” in those fights, I’m going to break up with him nicely in the hopes that I don’t elicit another “poor reaction.” And if he tries to negotiate my decision — another poor reaction, btw — it’s going to tell me what kind of man I’m dealing with. And if that same guy continues to text me, even when I am ignoring him hoping he’ll stop… yes, I’m going to be unnerved. I’m going to keep record of it. I’m going to hope he goes away, but if he doesn’t, I sure as shit would take my documentation to the authorities.
There’s a trend on social media these days asking women if they’d rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man. They almost always pick the bear. Men like you are the reason why we pick the bear. You’re scary.
Then you scare easily because I’m not scary. Women are also disproportionately assigning danger to men these days, due to watching one too many crime shows and therefore picking the bear.
Given all that you’ve written and inadvertently revealed about yourself in doing so (namely that you’re immature, insecure, and entitled), I’m not at all surprised you’d feel that way.
Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel… LW will go first!
Well, I finally understand the “mixed signals”
She said she “can’t be in a healthy relationship right now” … but you clearly weren’t offering a healthy relationship, so it should have been perfect … right?
This is becoming hilarious how so many here get so offended so easily. I’m basically only writing back for the entertainment at this time! I would never harm a woman and love them very much so it is ridiculous to conflate my being upset, and finding answers, to being scary, creepy, or whatever. Yeah I screwed up and chased a woman away with needy behavior. Sucks for me because I lost someone I really cared about. She has her issues, and I have mine, and our personalities/attachment styles clashed. I want to get closer and she wants distance. I’m not the first that experienced this and unless really secure, some things will bother one or the other. And no I wasn’t secure in her working 1000 miles away with 5 male tattoo artists/piercers (not stereotyping and have tattoos so I know how these shops work when there is a strong male presence and she was the only female there) and her not just throwing a vague “I’m going out of town to see my bf this weekend” because of course she had to say why she was taking off for the weekend. I think my request wasn’t that crazy but yes I could have refrained from bringing it up. A lot of it was also that if something happened to her and she didn’t have her phone, I wanted to be able to be contacted by one of them or a family member as an emergency contact, etc. I’m not an incel. Probably a volcel moving forward.
