Ex’s and funerals
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My husband called to tell me his mother texted and saw where one of his friends mom’s passed away. This friend is female and I have heard him say her name before but he has only ever referred to her as “his friend from high school.” He told me he planned to go up there Thursday. He mentioned she was part of their friend circle all through school and that they dated for a little bit. I was a little taken back because I didn’t know that they had ever dated. I told him my feelings and thought it was kind of weird because its been 20 years since high school and he hasn’t talked to her in 8-9 years since. He said that they have a small friend group (like 5 people) and they would go to her house after school a lot and hang out. He said her mother was always really nice and felt like he needed to go to pay his respects. When asking what kind of relationship they had back in high school he came straight out and told me that she was the first person he had slept with. I told him I didn’t want to know that and that’s not what I meant. I just want to know if its weird or should I not care so much that he goes?
It’s not weird. It sounds like her mom was someone he knew and liked as a kid. Please let this go.
No, going to this funeral is totally normal.
Is it a little weird he omitted the detail about them dating and him losing his v-card to her? Yeah, a bit. But if you have a history of jealousy there may be a pretty good reason for doing so.
Either way, let the man pay his respects.
I don’t think this is weird.
I’m curious if there are larger issues of jealousy or lack of trust at play here since you seemed to feel insecure when you thought she was just a HS friend from 20 years ago.
I’m not tight with everyone I went to HS with anymore (I’m creeping up on 20 years removed myself). Same is true for college friends. I don’t live locally to most of these people. I still love them for who they were and what they meant to me years ago, even if we no longer share that day-to-day closeness or speak often (which does also include a couple exes, none of whom I have lingering feelings for). And I remember some of their parents very, very fondly, too. I once burst into tears at an airport when my mom called to tell me a childhood best friend’s grandpa died — he was awesome! It’s not weird to fall out of touch but still have love in your heart. It’s not weird to want to pay your respects at a funeral when given the opportunity. I think you ought to let it go.
