I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss!
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If you didn’t work there he would still be married. And you would still be cheating.
You say you’re reading the advice and get it, but it’s not quite clicking all the way, or doesn’t seem to be.
This is not something you need to keep wondering about. What happens if he quits, what happens if you do, what happens if his marriage ends. If you actually want to move on and have relationships with available people (who are available right now, versus someone who may potentially perhaps be available in the future if x,y, and z happen) you have to work on getting him out of your mind.
What would “need to happen” in this situation is for your boss to abandon his happy marriage. You know, just the biggest and most sacred commitment he’s ever made to another human being, one he loves and has made a life with. Then they’ll need to go through a lengthy and difficult divorce process, he will need time to heal and move on. Then you’ll need to find a new job. Then you’ll need to see if he is even at all interested in you.
The alternative is to start an affair with your married boss, which again may conceivably happen. This makes you his mistress, a party to his horrible betrayal, and frankly an immoral person. It makes him a disgusting cheater whom you’ll never be able to trust.
Neither of these options sound appealing, or ever very likely. It’s ok, and I’d say normal at your age, to have these kinds of crushes. The key is to acknowledge them, and move on. Make an effort to stop thinking or fantasizing about him. Go out with some guys your own age. Get a hobby or start a new physical activity, invest in your friendships. In other words, move on.
OK still he has to get a divorce (which come on is probably not going to happen, you have to deal with that) and you have to quit. Way too complicated and full of drama.
Cleopatra gave you excellent advice about ways to think about this crush and move on. You have to grow up, sorry you are sounding more and more immature the more you respond, and be willing to listen to advice. Otherwise why bother asking? Why not just go and pine away for him and hope things change and suddenly he sweeps you off of your feet?
I’m assuming you wouldn’t have asked for advice on how to move on from him if you didn’t want to. Cleopatra and Lyra and others have given great advice on that.
If the actual advice you wanted was how to make him date you, there is none, the advice is move on. Sure it’s not easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.
Excuse me bitch I don’t sound immature. WHAT I AM SAYING IS IF THEY GOT A DIVORCE AND I WASNT THE CAUSE OF IT AND I DIDNT WORK THERE HELLO YOU PPL ARE DUMB AS FUCK
Haha wow thanks! You’re right I am dumb as fuck and a bitch, how could I ever forget that. Please go on, keep wishing this all happens.
Also, way to prove my point.
If you were single and he was single and you didn’t work at Golden Corral and you were both attracted to each other, green light!
Even single bosses aren’t supposed to date their employees. So yes, even if he were to leave his wife, he still wouldn’t be able to date you.
But, that’s not even the biggest problem. He’s taken. You can’t have him. He’s off the market. Unavailable.
Marriages don’t just fall apart for no reason. You keep saying ‘it can happen’….well, theoretically, it’s possible that he or his wife could wake up tomorrow and say “what the heck am I doing married to this person?” and file for divorce. Is it likely? No. Is there even a 5% chance that such a thing could happen? Probably not. It’s possible that a stranger could walk up to me this afternoon and hand me a million dollars….but really, really unlikely.
Look, I know it hurts. We’ve all been there. But there are things in this life you just can’t have. I’d like to be able to retire this year. I’d like to move to FL before next winter. I’d like Nathan Fillion to ask me to marry him. All of those things, while ‘possible’ in some sense of the word, just aren’t going to happen. Clinging to false hope is just going to make it hurt more.
But even if they got a divorce, he still wouldn’t be in a great space to have a relationship with you. You would essentially be the rebound or the booty call while he was getting over is divorce.
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At this point, no one can tell you how you feel about him but I will say (as someone who’s been there) don’t get involved with him physically or emotionally. Keep your relationship professional and focus on yourself, your life, and your goals and you will find that you won’t be nearly so attracted to him as time passes.
So this is where all the action is this morning! Random, but I secretly love Golden Corral. It’s one of my favorite road trip stops.
Ok, carry on.
