I think you should try to live with your mother and break up with your boyfriend. You won’t leave, you won’t seek help, you need to take your emotion out of it and take care of yourself logically. Ask to move back home and explain why. Your mother deserves to know how drastic and insane things have gotten in your life and she deserves a chance to try and help you. She can find help for you and feed you. She can care for you. Stop being silly and tell the people who care for you what is going on so they can help you.

At minimum, you need to tell your mother what is going on. Trust me, she’d rather help you deal with this situation now than have to plan your funeral if you successfully commit suicide.