“My Parents Want Me to Block My Boyfriend”
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From a LW:
“I am In a big crisis. I am a 25yr old dentist from India who loves a 28yr old American man we met on Bumble and started talking eventually fall in love and wanna get married. He is a good person with a good job. His parents,friends and colleagues know about me and they adore me.
My parents being typical conservative Indian parents were disappointed in me to chose a partner who I never met in person. They say that it’s impossible. They have doubts about my boyfriend that he must be fooling me,cosplaying and maybe a scammer. Also the cultural differences and different upbringing.
My boyfriend is willing to meet them and have a conversation but my parents told me to block him and not have any contact. I obviously didn’t do that because I love him a lot and wanna have a family with him.
Please tell me if I should try to convince my parent more as a fact I know they will never agree or just leave home and move to USA. My boyfriend don’t want me to leave home he wants my parents to be at the wedding. I don’t know how to handle this situation. I feel I am gonna have a panic attack. Please reply.”You can’t move and marry someone you’ve never met.
He should come and visit you in India. Save up 2 weeks’ vacation from his good job that he has, and fly to see you.
You need to slow way down here. You’re caught up in a fantasy right now because you want to get married and have kids so badly. You absolutely cannot be contemplating that with someone you’ve never met. Worst case he’s a scammer. Best case you’ll actually enjoy spending time together and there will be attraction. But first you have to find out, by actually meeting.
Ask him straight out to come to India. Will he do it?
Agree – have him come to India, on his own money, to visit you and talk to you and your parents in person. If he asks you for the money or he says he’s coming but then has something urgent come up and he can’t make it or he has to replan, then he’s likely a scammer and you should block him.
You can’t trust everyone on the intenet. You say you love this man, but the fact is that you have never met him. He may make you feel special with kind words and promises of marriage, but he could also be lying. He could be a thief, ready to rob you. With that said, your parents may be right in saying you should block him. Yes, the US is a great place, but don’t move for someone you have never met in person. You could always plan a short trip and meet him briefly. However, I would not trust him, especially if he is suggesting marriage before meeting. I am American, butbelieve me, not everyone here is trustworthy. I am honest, but I can’t promise that everyone is.
It’s probably really hard to hear how sceptical people are. Just a few other thoughts: are you feeling desperate to get out from under your family’s control? Maybe you are being gently encouraged down the arranged marriage route? You might feel like marrying an American will get you away from this conservative, controlling environment. Maybe you want to marry all for love? Just moving to the US isn’t necessarily that straightforward; immigration rules are complicated and at times harsh, not to mention expensive. Just marrying someone does not immediately let down the drawbridge. Also, would your qualification be accepted in a US workplace? SO MANY people I’ve met are massively qualified in their home countries but cannot practice in their adopted home. If you are old enough to contemplate such a course of action, you’re old enough to research it for yourself (not under anyone’s influence). If your parents choice is between losing you altogether while making your choices for you, they may come around to doing things in a more modern way.
I don’t think your parents are out of line and I agree with what others have said and suggested. I’m also curious, given the distance, which one of you is paying for the option of changing your location on Bumble to an area you don’t live in and why.
Agreed. He is visiting in July along with his friend. He gonna talk to my parents and see how it goes. He hasn’t ask for any money from me. I am the broke person here lol. He did told me he can take up the expense if I wanna pursue degree. That’s all later talks. I have decided to not take any decision until I meet him.
