Should I move on?
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Okay, bear with me on this one. I have been off and on with this guy since november. When i met him i had just gotten out of a relationship. He was everything i needed and more. Then after a month of him treating me like his girlfriend, he ghosted me for another girl. he came back about a month later saying he was sorry and that he wanted to try again. so i forgave him and we tried again. he did it again. two months later he texted me again saying he wanted to try again. At this point i am so in love with him that i didn’t want to lose him again. this time he just wasn’t putting any effort in so i cut him off. two weeks later he told me to my face that he was sorry and that he wanted a relationship with me and that he didn’t want to see me with other guys. this time the relationship was physical for the first time. a couple of weeks later he posted a picture with another girl. so my bestfriend sent pics of me and him and his and mine text messages to the other girl. he was clearly upset about this. and we haven’t talked since. that was almost a month ago. but i am so in love with him that i don’t want to let him go. there were bad parts of the relationship but there was also good parts. i just have the smallest shred of hope that he’s gonna come back. am i crazy for wanting him back?
You’re not really in love with a guy who ghosted you THREE times for someone else. You’re in love with the illusory image of what you thought he could give you in the beginning and which never came to fruition. You want something he can’t and won’t give you. Leave him in the past.
What were the good parts? I reread your post where an asshole ghosts you three different times…and he literally left you yet again for another woman and you still want him?
You need help and much better friends.
You aren’t actually in love with him. You are probably deeply in lust with/infatuated with him, and have no doubt, that feeling is POWERFUL. But it’s not a good reason to stay with someone who treats you badly.
Also, even if you were in love with him (which you aren’t), he very clearly does not love you back. He has demonstrated that with his actions over and over. How long are you going to continue letting him hurt and humiliate you before you decide enough is enough?
You deserve better. You haven’t given a single example of how this man makes you happy, makes you feel secure, makes you feel cared for, makes your life better than it is without him. Cut him loose, let yourself heal, and you will be happier for it.
You aren’t in love with HIM. You are in love with the way you feel when someone is giving you affection. Who then rips it away, and makes you feel terrible and then comes crawling back and you feel wanted again – which is the feeling you love.
You want to be wanted. You want to be desired. But you’re willing to sacrifice your self-respect and mental health for someone who doesn’t deserve you.
You can do so much better.
