Uncle/father UPDATE! Test has been done!!
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Update! The paternity results came in today and it was 99.99 percent. My living son is the father. There are so many emotions at the moment!! The mother won’t talk to me but she has talked with my son. She’s telling him that the test has to be wrong. She’s for certain that he’s not the father and even going so far as to saying that her daughter and my living son happen to share a lot of the same DNA. My head is spinning!! I think that she’s in denial. I know that my son has some issues but I hope that he can be a good father to this little girl. I just wanted to update everyone that has been wondering about this test.
Have you found a therapist?
Have you found a grief counselor?
Have you even seen your grandchild yet?
No one was wondering about the results of the paternity test. You just wanted to gloat. You didn’t suddenly discover a miracle cure for drug addiction. This is about your grandchild. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment. I’m worried that my son won’t be able to financially support this child. I did want this test done so I’m not going to complain too much. I’m a mixture of emotions right now.
So, I’m going to guess you haven’t sought any help for your grief and you still haven’t even met your granddaughter.
It’s really no wonder her mother doesn’t want to speak with you.
I will eventually meet my granddaughter. I think that it will be much easier now. My son is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that he is a dad. I’m trying to be there for him right now and help him adjust. I really feel like this will be a positive change in the right direction for him. From what I hear, the mother isn’t wanting to believe that my living son is the father. She refuses to talk to me, so I don’t know if we’re going to have problems with her or not. I’m trying to bury my resentment toward her because I don’t want any further issues with her. I just hope that we can all get along.
I didn’t follow the first post too closely, but I don’t understand why you’re forcing this “my living son is the father” narrative when it doesn’t seem welcome to either of them. Why can’t you let it alone? The little girl is your granddaughter either way, so focus on that if you want to try to have a relationship with her. It doesn’t sound like your son wants to play a father role, or that the mom wants him to either.
In the interest of treating terrible parents of both sexes equally —- TELL HIM TO GET A FUCKING VASECTOMY!!! (And no — I am so NOT kidding.)
Tell him he may want to consider a more permanent form of preventing pregnancies, that he can control. Do not order him to get a medical procedure done. Can we not?
She pushed for this because she has some ill conceived fantasy that having a child will turn her drug addicted son’s life around. She didn’t think or care how it would actually affect them.
Burying resentment means that it is still there just under the surface. Please start to work through your grief and loss. Knowing the paternity isn’t going to fix this situation; obviously this woman is distraught over being tied to your living son. Have you thought about the reasons why she may be fearful of him? Do any of those you thought of seem reasonable to introduce to a little girl?
