Updates: “Feeling Guilty For Walking Away” Responds (Again)
It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Feeling Guilty For Walking Away,” who was feeling guilty about walking away from her friend in an abusive marriage. “After twelve years of being by her side, I had to walk away from the friendship because the day-to-day phone calls, text messages, and e-mails about the things her husband has said or done, or the re-tellings of how her children have become injured because she’s not properly supervised them, or her parents keeping me updated about their daughter’s living conditions have left me drained in the wake of her news.” She updated us once before, back in September, to say that she had called CPS on her friend, Leigh, and that Leigh’s mother called her and screamed at her. Here’s a new update:
Leigh’s children are now with her parents, including the newest baby she had just after Christmas. Her mother reached out to me about a month ago to let me know that my actions (calling CPS) were the reason that she has three small children in her home to take care of, but that all three of them were doing well. In her own way, I think she was trying to thank me for calling CPS so they could finally step in and take action. Leigh and her husband are still together, and her mother told me that Leigh hasn’t changed even after the CPS investigation that led to her children being placed with their grandparents. “Hopefully I won’t have a fourth baby to take care of,” was one of the last things she said before hanging up.
It’s truly a sad, sad, situation, but I rest easier now knowing that all three of her children are with grandparents who I know will take care of them. Hopefully Leigh one day will be better, too.
Thank you for the update! I hope you are able to move on now knowing you did what was best for those kids.
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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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LW -you were in a no-win situation. No matter what you did, the outcome would be less than ideal. I think you made the right call, and I think you got the best possible outcome. Sure, the grandparents are now raising three kids, but they are with family that loves them and is responsible.
It sounds like the CPS visit/outcome was a wake-up call to the grandparents, at least. It forced them into action, and now the children are safe and secure. That’s the best you could have realistically hoped for.
I hope the kids will be alright. Hopefully they stay with the grandparents and not be returned to the parents.