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I’m doing great! After my last romantic failure I haven’t dated at all, that would be approximately 8 months I guess? Been asked a couple times and sometimes I miss the getting ready for a date part, getting to know someone but I definitely don’t miss the games and the lies and the bullshit. So, there’s that.
Copa, it’s good that you have your timelines clear and don’t listen to intruders. Sometimes expectations are created based on what other people are doing or saying come and it ends up happening like our friend in the advice forum that cried all night after getting engaged.My sister (29) is getting a divorce after 3 1/2 years of marriage. Her husband changed into a completely different person in the last 6 months. Anyways, I am completely pessimistic about marriage and relationships in general. It’s like every marriage around me is crumbling.
I’m with Copa and I think she’s giving excellent advice here. You need to move on, everything is really fresh now and maybe you’re not seeing the big picture. It’s probable that you guys were incompatible in other issues as well.
I’m sorry Cleo. The whole thing sucks. I find it very relieving to “feel” everything and be sad willingy during times like these. People try too fast to be “fine”. So, be sad and cry and it will all get better eventually. You’re very brave for making this decision. I hope you have a good support group and if not, there’s always this community. When I broke up and posted it here, a lot of messages were super helpful and I read them a million times and kept coming back.
Curly; I don’t think you can tell if a date will be a waste of time or not from a couple questions. You just have to go for it. I’ve had really boring dates with people that sounded fun in texts. And funny dates with a couple guys that I went out with not expecting anything because they were kind of lame on texts. I think that’s the clue: not having expectations at all.
I’ve had dates on Sundays but realized I prefer Saturdays or Fridays. It’s not a rule “per se”, it’s just a day that I take for me time and most of the time I don’t have the energy to get ready to go out and make a good first impression. Sometimes just putting on lipstick or choosing what to wear is too much.
Also, this wasn’t a date, this is someone I dated and didn’t work out because he wanted to leave the country, but we remained friends. He never left the country though.
My dating scene is non existent now, and I have a massive crush on my nutritionist, even thinking of finding a new one because of this.
Also, getting shit faced drunk is not something I do often, I go out on saturdays but have a beer or two. And that’s about it.Yes I don’t like to schedule dates on Sundays because that is the day I meal prep and relax. I almost never get drunk like that, but it was fun and was unexpected.
I don’t know what I expected, I just thought he really had changed.
I have been single for two years (this hasn’t been my longest period single though, I was single for three years after my first boyfriend) and have had a lot of fails with dates and all that, and being lonely kind of messes with ones’ head and I really thought he had changed.
I’m super positive though, I took a break from dating, I feel (mostly) great with being single, there are just some days that suck.I do think this is the time of the year when people reappear.
One of my Tinder matches from last year messaged me to go get coffee. I really liked the guy but he was planning to move abroad so, after three dates, we decided to stay friends, and we keep in touch about once a week. Then last week asked me on a date again. I saud yes but had to reschedule because I was dead yesterday. Got so so drunk on Saturday that I had to stay in bed all Sunday.
Also, my exboyfriend that broke up with me two years ago and that I still work with, asked me to go get coffee to “talk”. I went with him and he said that he was very sorry about eveything, that he wanted to make things right with me, that I was right, etc. Then, on another day, he showed up at my place and we spent about 5 hours hugging ans talking. He asked me what he could do to get back together with me and to “make him a list of things” so he could work on them and win me over again. Nothing happened, just talking. I realized I don’t want to get back together with him but I still gave him a chance to talk. And then last week he says to me that he never said that he wanted to get back together, that all he wants is friendship. I never imagined anything, he said all those things. And I felt stupid for giving him a chance, and for givign people in general chances that they dont’ deserve. That has been the mo this year. I cried a lot and he is obviously blocked from everywhere now.I’d change my wedding plans if I were you.
I said it here before when Veritek brought it up first and someone said I was judging her, but she seems exactly like the kind of person that cares more about the wedding than the marriage. But, she will be your family until death. So.A brunch wedding isn’t lame. And whinery hopping afterwards sounds really fun.
What is lame is having a wedding that you can’t afford. Do what you want to do Veritek, and congrats!I don’t think Veritek is a bridezilla. They ran the date by the SIL and she didn’t object.
SIL is a bridezilla. There are 8 weeks apart. Sounds like a classic case of someone that is getting married for the buzz and the pics, and not for the marriage. I don’t know but the whole culture surrounding weddings nowadays is fucking insane.
Anyways, Veritek what does your fiance say? Is he siding with his sister or with you?Yes, @Copa this is the one. Even went so far as to call me his girlfriend a couple times and I let it slide and didn’t say anything.
Anyways. It will get better I know.
