Ale

Thanks.

I think it is a mix of things that start happening and that’s when you know. When you know, you know. It is about imagining a future, thinking of that person when you first wake up, and then when you’re going to bed, when something cool or sad happens to you and the first person you want to tell for joy or comfort is him/her, etc. I remember with my boyfriend one time when I needed to help my grandma with something on a Sunday very early in the morning and he happily volunteered and joined me, helped me and just made me feel like he wanted to be there and help me, even if he had to get up really early on a sunday. That’s when I knew.

I second what Wendy said, some people who ghost after saying that kind of things did it very early in the relationship. Maybe at the beginning it was awesome and then it got moving too fast. I’m not justifying people who ghost, it is a horrible thing to do, but saying that one has to be very careful with that kind of displays very early on in the relationship.
Also, I hate when people complain about being ghosted, but the minute said ghoster shows up again is like nothing happened.
A friend of mine had a few dates with a guy who was “great” and “awesome”, I’ve posted about her earlier here. On the second date, they were planning an entire trip together. It all sounded awesome but I kept seeing red flags everywhere. For instance calling an ex of him a “golddigger” because she was a “model” making my friend feel like crap. Also, planning a trip the second time they saw each other, WTH.
After a few dates, a trip planned, dates already lined up, the guy dissapeared from the face of the earth. He totally ghosted her. She was very sad. And then the guy reappears, like a month and a half later, telling her that he has been busy, asking her out again and acting like nothing happened. And my friend goes and buys the whole bullshit again, goes out with him again a couple times, and then, yes, he ghosts her again.
He reappeared a third time only to tell her that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and to just be friends.
So, please don’t do as my friend. I mean, it’s super rude to be ghosted and for a person to reappear as if nothing happened because said person has been “busy” (in 2017, FFS), no. Just don’t. If a person is that rude once, it is not good to keep them in your life.

I also think it’s very brave to tell someone how you feel. However, don’t let him string you along. If he’s not feeling the same then it’s time to move on and find a new gentleman friend.

@veritek
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I understand, insecurity is a bitch. Sometimes I wonder why my boyfriend of two years is with me, when he could be with someone much more attractive or feminine than me. It’s not that I am bad looking, but I have struggled with weight and skin issues. At my almost 31 years old, I still get some awful pimples. So, when he tells me that my face is “glowing”, or that I look beatiful I wonder why is he lying haha.
Another example, during my weight loss my boobs went MIA. I hate them now, they used to be perky and now, they’re not. He compliments me on them every single day and I just can’t believe him. It’s like I’m thinking that there is no way that I am that beautiful as he says.
I remember in college when one of my “friends” said that nobody would ever want to be with me because I had an “ugly body”. That is still with me. And I also remember one time I came home crying because I felt ugly. I cried for two nights in a row. And the next week I joined a gym.
So, I feel what everybody is talking about.
And kmen, I guess that what people are saying is not to stop dating, but maybe get rid of the apps and meet people the old fashion ways. That does not necessarily means to be passive, because by joining new groups or activities you keep being looking for someone, but in a different way. I think apps maybe cause some exhaustion due to the fact that you meet the person after you had some original idea or first impression, and that can cause some dissapointments when that idea isn’t what the person is. So, sometimes a break could be cool.