Copa
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Yeah, whenever I see the phrase, “want a woman who takes care of herself,” I am immediately wary and assume the subtext there is “skinny women only.” Listing height and weight is absurd, though. My body has changed a bit over the past two years — I’ve been both quite lean and am currently a bit puffy — but my weight and dress size actually haven’t changed.
I haven’t been able to send it yet. Turns out AAM is right about lack of thank you’s not being a dealbreaker because I was invited back for round two!
The notification send the connection timed out. I sent it from my personal laptop, which is on its last leg of life, so for all I know, I’m the problem. It wasn’t an undeliverable address or anything like that. Or maybe I’ve been blacklisted for some reason!? I don’t even know why the bounceback to so many days to be delivered to me. I’ll send it from work later in case my home connection is the problem.
SO, over the weekend I sent a thank you to the HR manager at the company that interviewed me. Just this morning, I got a delivery failure notification. (Not sure why since I responded to our chain of e-mails.) Is it worth re-sending a thank you almost a week after the interview with an explanation that I got a bounceback notice? Or do I drop it?
Yeah, definitely moving on and won’t be giving him the time of day if he “tries” to contact me when his phone is fixed. This is the second dumbest lie I think I’ve heard from a guy, falling somewhere below “I have a physical problem” when I asked an ex if he’d been dating someone else. (He had been, but a vague “physical problem” was the best he could do when thinking on his feet to explain some of his behavior. If stupidity counts as a physical problem, then I agree.)
He just texted me that his phone is broken (then how are you texting me?) and that he’ll “try to” be in touch when it’s fixed. Huh? I think this is the last I’ll hear from him, and wish he’d stayed silent. I’d rather the last I hear from a guy be silence than sn obvious lie.
Can you create a dummy Facebook account and use Tinder that way?
I haven’t been in a serious relationship in about as long, @MissDre. I’ve had a lot of first dates, some second dates, and a handful shorter and more casual relationships (2-6 months) since. Dating was never this hard for me when I was in school and into my mid/late 20s. (I’m 30.) I dated the same guy for a long time in my early/mid 20s, was single for about a year, then met my next serious boyfriend online. He was my first attempt at online dating — first and only person I corresponded with and set up a date with — and it just worked. That was 2012. I’m told online dating has changed a lot since then, but since my experience early on was limited to one guy, can’t compare. I’m also not sure how much my location at the time (suburbs with fewer options) factored in. (My ex did use online dating to cheat on me with his now-wife, so if nothing else, online dating has made it easier for assholes to be assholes.)
In my dating life, I’m typically the one to end things. Most men who have ended things with me, be it after two dates or 12, have at least been forthcoming. The ghosters and faders have thankfully been fewer and farther between than I may make them sound — they’re just so memorable! — but they do exist and bring out the hot mess in me.
It’s frustrating when shit like this happens, but I also do believe I’m a catch and worthy of love, and while I do get frustrated — because OMG just be direct with me, I have shit to do — I also have hope that there is a good man willing to meet me halfway, and who WON’T make me feel like an anxious wreck. And that makes it easier to deal with the bullshit.
Also, my single friends mostly live in other large cities around the U.S. — San Francisco, DC, NYC — and I hear a lot of the same. And for whatever its worth, I know a lot of men feel the same way we do.
I mean, he didn’t actually say he doesn’t have time because he has a demanding job. (I read the latter into his statement because his job does take up a good chunk of his time. His statement was mostly “I’m looking for something serious, I only date one person at a time, I don’t have a ton of free time, and don’t want my time wasted.”) Not sure if that changes anyone’s opinions. In any case, I didn’t find what he said cringe-y and if I’m in the minority on that, it’s okay. I truly think all he wanted to communicate was that he doesn’t want to be spending time with women who know they’re on a different page than he is but enjoy the free dinners.
I do, however, disagree that most people date for the attention. I don’t. Do most people? I want find a meaningful connection and someone to talk to. Unless that’s the same as wanting attention?
@Cleopatra – Notwithstanding those comments, if this is how he chooses to end things, bullet dodged, yes. I think ghosting is tacky and rude. I’m still holding onto a little bit of hope, but realistically not expecting him to pop back up.
I dunno. I didn’t find it off-putting. One of my friends only seems to care about money when she’s dating. She wants nice dinners, gets mad when the guy doesn’t pay for dates, expects boyfriends to give her money to spend when he’s not around, and has seriously considered a sugar baby website. She’s encouraged me to go out with men I have absolutely no interest in so that I can be wined and dined. He did go through the effort of planning nice dates for us, and I can see someone like my friend taking advantage of that. If he has dated anyone like her, I can see why he would say that.
Totally cutting off contact with no fade-out has only happened to me once. The guy asked me to be his girlfriend, I said I wasn’t there yet, we went out one more time, and he vanished. I was hurt, but looking back, ending things was the right call. (He should’ve said something, though.) Usually when I look back on the guys who have taken the indirect road out of dating me, the signs were always there; I just never wanted to see them in the moment. This time, with zero warning signs, will be a first. It’s such a crappy way to treat someone when you can send a 10-word text message to end things.
