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Don’t ask for it! As others have said, it’s your mom’s ring, not yours, which means she’s the one who gets to decide if it becomes a family ring.
I love all these positive updates, too!
@nickel_5 That kinda sucks! Back in college, I had a huge crush on one of my best friends, who wound up moving home in the middle of the school year. He came to visit months later and we finally made out and it was THE WORST. We tried a few times to see if it was just a bad first kiss, but we just didn’t have that kind of chemistry. And I was so sad! Then he then immediately slept with one of my friends. Like while staying with me and two hours after he and I were trying to force that physical connection. And then I was sad in a different way. Anyway, maybe give it another shot? But it’s nice that you’d at least be hopeful for a friendship. My sister has had good luck at turning failed online dating attempts into friendships, and I’m weirdly jealous.
@TheLadyE I don’t think age is a huge deal! We like who we like. I’m 30, and one of my friends who is 26 basically loves me and wants to date me. I really like him a lot, but just don’t think we’re compatible — and not because he’s younger, but because he does things like cocaine.) It seems like you’re having fun, so just go with it. I have a friend who think it’s horrifying to date younger men — to the extent that she thought being like 11 months older than one of her exes was a big f’ing deal — and I think she’s so stupid for it.@Veritek Was that date 2? 3? I’m pleased with the direction things are moving with the guy I’ve been on a couple dates with, but it’s been SO LONG since I’ve felt excited in that can’t-wait-to-see-him-next kinda way. So I’m glad you’re feeling it for both of us! 🙂
@kmen Are you meeting the family when you go to Toronto? I’ve been there in the dead of winter before and the weather was brutal, but it’s a great city! Have a wonderful time!
My date last night was really nice! We went to dinner and then a monthly evening event hosted by the planetarium, and it was something fun and different for both of us. I hated the drink I ordered, and he traded with me (haha) and I just think he’s so nice. 🙂 He’s traveling overseas for work this week, but said he wants to see me again when he’s back and I wanna see him too.
Aww. Yay @nickel_5! It’s always fun to be excited about someone. 🙂 Keep us updated because I love when people on this thread have good news.
I have my second date tonight and I’m actually pretty nervous!
Eh, to each their own. I prefer the apps, but don’t think they’re inherently better. Huge generalization, I know, but the frequency with which I was contacted by guys who seemed SUPER lonely on the websites was off-putting. I don’t get that vibe from anyone I’ve ever spoken to on the apps, but it may just be that communication works differently.
I hated my time on OKCupid. My therapist mentioned once that she met her boyfriend there. My sister hates Tinder, but I really like it. One of my co-workers met her husband on EHarmony, and a friend of mine found that site just daunting.
FWIW, I actually prefer the apps to the more traditional dating sites. There are duds on all sites, obviously, but Tinder is actually my favorite (and I mean for dating, not hooking up).
Yes! Ditch him! Things do happen sometimes, but I have no doubt he could’ve texted you the first night you were supposed to meet before you got to the bar. And he should’ve. Just like Kate said: His behavior was very rude. I’ve both canceled dates (rarely) and been canceled on because yeah, shit does happen — but when I cancel I make a serious effort to reschedule. And when I’ve been canceled on, I expect that effort.
In other news, I have a second date on Thursday with the same man I met last weekend. Very excited! 🙂
Yay veritek! At the risk of sounding weird, I love the Brawny Man. Haha. Does anyone else know the commercial where the Brawny Man is baking a cake, and making a mess, and there’s a puppy? I think it’s pretty old, but funny.
I heard from my date by text yesterday, and this isn’t a bad thing, but I find his texts so… formal? They’re almost like super succinct e-mails, and I wonder if it’s because he’s a little bit older than I am (39). He told me he prefers engaging with people in person so I just assume he’s not much of a texter — which is fine, I’ve gotten to the point where I haaate texting with guys I’m dating at length — but I’m still getting used to his text style.
I’ve also luckily never had an awful first date over dinner. I shudder at the thought. One of my most awkward dates was this past spring was a set up (friend of a friend), and making conversation was just painful. Our original plan had been dinner, but the wait at the restaurant was so long we decided to go to a bar around the corner instead. And thank goodness we did! Making conversation was painful, and I was horrified when he ordered a second drink. Even just thinking that the hour and a half I spent with him could’ve been doubled if we’d had to wait on food makes me squirm. So I’m sorry to all of you who have been in that situation before!
You guyssss. I had such a good time on my date this past weekend. His original plan for the night was to meet at a coffee shop at six and then “at about 7:30 go to dinner” and I thought, “Yikes! That’s a lot of time investment into someone who could turn out to be a weirdo.” So I asked him if we could just chat over drinks, and wish we’d done dinner instead. He was kind and smart and interesting and has dimples. And he laughed at my jokes. He texted me later that night to say he wants to see me again. And now he’s in San Francisco for a work trip (I apparently pick ALL THE MEN WITH WORK TRAVEL RESPONSIBILITIES), but hope we’ll see one another again in the next couple weeks.
It actually didn’t suck that bad because work was so hectic that I truly did not notice. Which probably means I wasn’t as into it anymore? Sucks that it didn’t work out, I suppose, but he traveled so much that it was hard to maintain the initial connection.
I think things may have fizzled out with the British Gentleman I’ve been dating. Someone else quit at work (for those keeping count: that’s the fifth person on my team of eight to leave since I started here in May) and it actually took me maybe a week or two to realize I hadn’t heard from him because work was such a cluster. Could also be that he has just been busy and I know he’s been in England visiting his family, so I guess we’ll see?
I was planning to open my dating options back up notwithstanding and have a date this Saturday with a guy I’m actually excited to meet.
@veritk – So for some reason I thought you guys had already had that conversation about how your relationship feels like it’s changed, but I guess not! In any case, I think it’s worthwhile to be direct about it if he’s someone you are interested in dating. (Although, I will say — and I guess I dunno if he KNEW you could hear his response to his friend — hearing him say something like to a friend when I was within earshot would bum me out and make me reconsider.) I have, in the past, had a couple guy friends with whom I was super affectionate (not FWB) but never actually dated — so I suppose relationships like that can and do exist — but this was back in college. In any case, it’s smart to keep your options open and I do also agree that it’s true that a guy who wants to be your boyfriend won’t waste time acting like anything but your boyfriend
