Copa

@MissDre – I’m sorry! I know I was in the “I’m not sure if this is weird” camp, BUT I think it’s horribly rude to not respond to someone who is clearly reaching out (which you did). Even if he DID reach out to you at this point, would you even want to give him the time of day? I know a lot of people seem to do it, but I have NO PATIENCE for people who think slipping away quietly is the kinder thing to do, ESPECIALLY if there have been more than, I dunno, 2 dates. You’re better off without him!

Good move, @MissDre! I think what sucks is that regardless of whether his behavior is unusual or not, the only thing you can really do is wait to see if he contacts you and how he explains himself. The waiting game makes me incredibly anxious — I’ve been ghosted once after a few months of dating someone and decided to give him a week to get in touch before I concluded it was indeed ghosting. That week made me so anxious and sad. So, I’m sorry you’re now just waiting to see how things shake out. BUT, I do think reaching out calmly and politely was a good move because then it’s like you did all you could and can walk away at least knowing that, should it come to that.

ALSO – I just saw what you said about how you’ve both discussed what you’re looking for and how you feel misled about this. Isn’t it possible that this opportunity came out of nowhere? When I moved to my current city, I applied for a job I didn’t think I’d hear back from. In the span of about three weeks, I interviewed a couple times, quit my job, and moved to a new state/city. I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, but if I had been and they’d asked me what I was looking for at the time, I would’ve told them I was looking for a life partner. I still would’ve applied for the job I moved for notwithstanding and don’t feel I would’ve misled anyone if I’d said I wanted a life partner and a job I thought was a long-shot ended up working out in my favor. It just would’ve been shitty timing.

Yes to what Kare said about a sudden, big job offer altering normal behavior. I apparently was acting really weird before I moved to my current city, or so I’m told, and I think it’s because everything happened so fast between the point I applied and when I actually had to be in town. I’d personally calm down and wait to talk to him.

@MissDre – I don’t even know the whole back story on this guy, but that really sucks! Wow. It has historically been easier for me to accept that someone just isn’t into me than to accept things like meeting someone great when timing is working against you. FWIW, though, I do think it seems like he’d care about your opinion?

My parents are in town this weekend, so nothing planned for this weekend. (I feel insane because not having plans with him for a weekend makes me anxious, even though it’s not a big deal to go a weekend without seeing him.)

Fun Chicago dates we’ve had so far: fireworks, zoo, farmer’s market, Girl & the Goat, rooftop drinks out, rooftop drinks on his roof, river walk drinks/food that made us both feel ill (ha).

Fun Chicago dates we’ve talked about doing soon: kayaking in the lake, Oak Park biking tour, Adler After Dark, ALL THE FESTS. 😀

We met in May, so, obviously this is still quite new, but I’m having a lot of fun getting to know him. I haven’t told a lot of people about him yet since we haven’t talked about exclusivity and if this turns into another disappointment, I don’t want everyone knowing… but I keep telling the people who know about him that it just feels easy. On Friday over dinner, he told me that’s how he feels being around me. So. Aw. That was good to know/hear! Still can’t quite shake the feeling that it’s going to fall apart before it ever really takes off, but for now, trying to just have fun with it.