Copa

First and foremost, are all the other cat owners/wine drinkers here aware of Pinot Meow and MosCATo, the catnip wine for cats? http://www.boredpanda.com/catnip-wine-for-cats-apollo-peak/ Now you have a drinking buddy, @kmtthat!

But in all seriousness, I think a lot of people — particularly single folks — feel that way. Especially at this age (I just turned 30), it feels like seemingly everyone has paired off. Most of my friends are also married or seriously couple up, both the ones who lives locally or far away, and I sometimes feel so left out. My closest friend in my city recently started dating someone and even though she’d insisted we do dinner together to catch up for my bday, bailed because the guy she’s been seeing for a hot second was available. I get that new relationships are exciting, but c’mon! I’m moving to a new place next week but that was the moment that after I’m done with the physical moving process, I need to get back into “make new friends!” mode and hopefully meet more single friends, haha. (Not that the married or coupled ones aren’t great, just sometimes I feel like I need more friends who can relate!)

DW destination in Alberta, BC, anyone? Kidding. (But, I’d actually be down for that, haha.)

Yay, sararosie! Glad you texted him! Glad you’re going out again! I think it’s a good thing not to put too much emphasis on text habits when you’re getting to know someone. Some people aren’t big texters and other people (like me) are lazy texters. One of my friends had just started talking to a guy from OKC maybe a month ago and decided he wasn’t into her because he didn’t text her during the workday and was otherwise a slow communicator. I thought it was absurd. And when he DID text she’d purposely wait longer than the amount of time it took him to respond before she’d respond. I wanted to shake her and yell. And told her that if I knew a guy I was talking to was playing those games, I’d think he was an idiot. Naturally she was offended… (Not saying you’re doing these same things, sararosie, just sometimes I find it odd how much people — myself included — can read into things when they’re dating.)

I’m told the primary use of Tinder varies by geographic location. I didn’t really use it until I moved to my current city and I’ve been here less than two years so I’d say I’m a newer user. I feel like I can usually tell based on how the conversation goes what a guy is looking for — like that time I got a request for nudes, I think my assumption that we were looking for different things was a safe one — and it has actually come up often in text conversations before meeting someone. Almost every guy I’ve spoken to on there has been looking for a relationship. (One of the ones who wasn’t actually found me on Match about 12 hours after I blocked him on Tinder. Sent me some follow-up messages through that platform because that’s the obvious thing to do when blocked. Piled onto my hatred for Match.) I don’t think I’ve used online sites as much as other people (as in, I’m not someone who has profiles on ALL THE PLATFORMS and I’m someone who will dabble in online dating for a short period of time and then take a break), but my favorite online dates have been with Tinder dudes.

@kmtthat With the swiping apps, I swipe left on most guys. (You’re not being too picky. I hate when I’m told I’m too picky. Picking a partner is the only time in life you’ll ever get to pick who your family is. Be picky, PLEASE.) Honestly, I really like Tinder and never thought I’d say that. I’m fairly discerning about who I’ll meet from online, but the guys I’ve met from there have been really great in person — kind, smart, interesting, good-looking — and I’ve had a good time even with the ones I haven’t wanted to see again. I’m actually going on a second date with someone from Tinder tomorrow! I joined Match recently because I had some luck on there in the past and — sweeping and unfair generalization alert! — the guys on there have that Lonely and Desperate Vibe that sometimes comes across on these sites. Tinder moves faster and the volume can get overwhelming (I’ve never liked dating multiple people at once), but I think it’s great that you can only contact or be contacted by someone who has shown mutual interest.

@Materialsgirl Congratulations on your marriage! Wahoo! So jealous you were in Yosemite! My dad’s side of the family goes on an annual trip there and I’m so sad I’m missing it this year (it’s going on now as I type this and I keep getting pictures of Half Dome). It’s one of my favorite places in the whole wide world. (I feel I cannot go to Banff in Canada because I don’t want it to steal my heart from Yosemite and think it might.) I heard the waterfalls were roaring this year in comparison to the past handful of years.

I’ve been living in Chicago for over a year now and from what I’ve observed/experienced here, it’s kind of a mixed bag.

I was living in a small Midwestern city before I came here and when my ex and I broke up when I was 27, I was literally the only single one in my group of friends. A lot of people married young there and a good chunk of my married friends/acquaintances there didn’t seem to be marrying for any other reason than “well, we’ve been dating for a long time soooo might as well!” I hated dating there. Finding men who were educated and ambitious sometimes felt hard.

In Chicago I meet people all over the map in terms of relationship status (at all ages) and when they’d ideally settle down. One of my good friends just turned 30 and is disappointed she’s single and childless while another good friend is early 40s and just loving her life with no desire to be tied down. It’s not hard to find a date here and I’ve been out with men who both do and do not want commitment (in general, not necessarily from me). (Incidentally, the men I’ve met who express a desire to be settled down are usually Sad Singles — the kind who lament to you that everyone but then has settled down — and it turns me off. They always seem to be native Midwesterners.) I do think Chicago has more traditional values than, say, NYC — almost every woman I know who lives or lived there hated the NYC dating scene for the lack of men interested in settling down or commitment. But since it’s a large city that attracts transplants, it’s a far cry from what I’ve experienced in small Midwestern cities.

Just my observations and I really haven’t been here THAT long.