Copa
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If someone can’t/doesn’t eat, they are hospitalized or sent for inpatient treatment…
Nobody here can help you. Just showing up to therapy without doing any work will not help you. You need to help yourself.
OK. So then you need to listen to your doctors. You need to take your medication without hand holding. If you feel you are being prescribed the wrong thing, seek a second opinion to see if you have any alternatives. Go through the trial and error process of finding the right medications for you.
If you’re going to be miserable either way you may as well pick “miserable but trying.”
Your issues are well beyond the scope of the type of help a forum can provide. I think you should consider in-patient treatment if you have thoughts of self-harm and suicide and need someone to help you take your medications.
I also wish you’d provided more details about the medication you are taking as well as why you are not taking it. Why do you start but give up? I do think it’s valid for a therapist to have boundaries around who they treat.
FWIW, several months ago I decided to go on an anti-depressant. The first thing my dr. prescribed did not work well for me at all. The adverse side effects started right away and even at the lowest dose, I was struggling. He had me go off of it, wait a few weeks for my body to go back to normal, and we tried something new, again at the lowest dose possible. So far so good. We’re upping the dose starting tomorrow. Please talk to your prescribing doctor if a medication isn’t working for you. They can tweak dosage or probably offer you something else.
I think if your partner has an addiction to painkillers and is making false promises of treatment/help, you need to take that seriously. Something like this is likely to get worse, not better, without proper intervention. You should be prioritizing the wellbeing of your son. You should be prioritizing yourself as well.
My question for you is this: Would your soulmate treat you like this? Would your LOML make you feel disrespected, prioritize his friends and their feelings over you and yours, and cross your boundaries? I’m guessing you answered no and there’s a reason for that.
I agree that a couples counselor would be your best bet to have productive conversations and progress around this. It sounds like you have some great career opportunities in front of you right now, so maybe it’s also time to seriously consider if this relationship has run its course. It’s possible that he’s not your one and only soulmate, but one of the multiple deep soul level connections you can have in this lifetime.
My question for you is this: Would your soulmate treat you like this? Would your LOML make you feel disrespected, prioritize his friends and their feelings over you and yours, and cross your boundaries? I’m guessing you answered no and there’s a reason for that.
I agree that a couples counselor would be your best bet to have productive conversations and progress around this. It sounds like you have some great career opportunities in front of you right now, so maybe it’s also time to seriously consider if this relationship has run its course. It’s possible that he’s not your one and only soulmate, but one of the multiple deep soul level connections you can have in this lifetime.
This relationship started when he was late 30s and you were 25 or younger. Ew. This is a red flag. In my experience men around that age only date women in their early 20s when they’re creeps and/or can’t pull women in a more appropriate age range who would be closer to the same life stage.
He was actively online dating! I have been there, when I was a little younger than you are now, and it was very devastating. I’m sorry he is doing that to you. Were I you, I’d assume you haven’t caught all the bad behavior there was/is to catch.
If you truly want to be done with toxic relationships, walk away from this dud. There isn’t going to be a happy ending here. Maybe consider therapy if you feel it is warranted to understand why you are so drawn to this kind of man.
I did end up getting invited back for round three and we’re sorting out the details now. I met two people at the recent on-site interview. The third and final interview will be meeting the full team of (I think) eight, so I’m not sure if that’d be one or two panels or a series of shorter small group interviews. I’ve experienced both in the past. It’s not a done deal until it is but I’ve experienced every emotion around potentially leaving my job multiple times over the past year, ha.
Good luck with your interview, @hfantods. One step at a time and you assess them, too.
I also doubt the veracity of the text. And if it’s real, it’s weird and also not confusing because it ends by saying she’s done.
Also, FYI, at least one of the commenters who has chimed in on this thread is a man.
Anyway, I’m done here. You will not be happy until everyone agrees with you that this situation is very nuanced and you were done dirty by this manipulative, selfish woman.
As an alleged mental health professional, shouldn’t you know that you cannot make someone meet your needs? Shouldn’t you know that if your needs aren’t being met, you can have a calm conversation about that instead of “applying pressure” (whatever that means) and having repeated “poor responses”? Shouldn’t you know to walk away if someone is showing you early on that they cannot or will not meet your needs even when it’s sad for you? Shouldn’t you be able to reason through why a freshly divorced person might be seeking the attention of someone 1,000 miles away? Shouldn’t you be able to get over a three month online situationship with less analysis? Shouldn’t you understand that the only person who truly knows her emotional experience is her? Shouldn’t you understand some of the very real reasons women are afraid of men?
The meaning behind her breakup is that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. We’ve all told you this from the start. You were hoping everyone would agree with you that she’s highly confusing, selfish, and manipulative.
I’m assuming you were dating someone 1,000 miles away because you are limited to that kind of option on account of being a red flag on legs and I’m relieved on behalf of the women in your immediate and surrounding areas.
