Copa

I’ll be in Dublin for two days leading up to and one day after the Waterford leg of our trip. (The wedding is in Waterford.) I’ll be with at least one girl friend for most of this time and learned that three of my cousins will be in Ireland at the same time. The end of their trip coincides with the start of mine, so I’ve asked them to make Dublin their last stop. Truthfully, Ireland has never been the most appealing destination to me (to my bf, these are fighting words) and I know I’ll have company. So while I’m hoping to do cool stuff and collecting recommendations, I’m happy to go with the flow.

London, I’m very excited to meet my friend’s babies. We met in middle school, she was the only other girl in my grade at a tiny international school, and I involuntarily cry every. single. time. we’re together, so I’m already expecting major waterworks to meet her tiny human creations. But I’m not sure how available she’ll be, so want to make sure I have plenty of ideas to fill my time.

@ktfran I went to Italy a few times when I was in high school, but not since. I’d LOVE to go back. I don’t have any suggestions, but there’s a woman I follow on TikTok (@KacieRose4) who went on a solo trip to Italy, met a guy, and now lives in Florence with him. She gives a lot of tips and recommendations about traveling in Italy… she is how I know about wine windows, where you ring a bell and get served a glass of wine through a tiny window.

I was trying to be nice until I read some of his hot takes on consent. Oof.

I don’t think I’ve really seen or used the phrase “hooking up” since college.

“oh god, day 2”

You can fuck all the way off now, Jeff. Nobody is forcing you to write lengthy posts citing articles nobody here cares about or will read (because none of us are perplexed by consent). You sound like a moron in the little I skimmed.

BTW, the Psychology Today article about the rise of single lonely men might be of interest to you!

If you’re asking where I’m from — which seems irrelevant — I’ve lived in the northeast, west coast, midwest, two cities in Asia, and one city in Mexico. I’ve lived in suburbs and dense urban areas in equal amounts at this point. I’m a city girl at heart. I’m currently in a major U.S. city. I’m actually just about your age. A lot of my friends ended up in NYC, my sister lived there for nearly a decade. I’ve spent a lot of time there, though have never dated there. I’ve heard the Never Neverland jokes. I’m familiar enough that I don’t doubt there are plenty of people hooking up (as there are everywhere). But I also have friends who have met spouses there, plenty of whom dated without participating in hookup culture (or only did so when they felt like it). It’s not the only way to date, in NYC or anywhere.

It can be easy for people to check out when something doesn’t directly affect them — I know I’ve done it before and I guess you are a man living in a society where we are all conditioned to center men and their comfort — but it’s still shocking to me to hear that a man in his 30s (in vibrant, diverse NYC of all places!) could somehow not know what women endure from men in dating, work, wherever.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by Copa.

You can just write a post saying this is what happened and I’m feeling insecure about it. You’d likely have been met with more compassion if you’d done that instead of disagreeing with everyone for five pages as you insist the way you date is correct even though you’re not having the kind of luck you’d like and bemoaning how confusing consent is.

Anyway, it happens sometimes, but it’d likely not be a dealbreaker to a woman who has been out on a few fun dates with you and is enjoying getting to know you/likes you. On a first date when you were pushy and then, by your calculation, only 60% enthusiastic to be with you? Nope.