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@hfantod – Congratulations! I’m so happy you had a perfect day!
@Rangerchic – Where did you guys go on vacation? It’s always nice to get away.
@LisforLeslie – That’s crazy! Stay safe.
I did mention that my friend may want to reach out to her or her husband’s EAP, so thanks for that suggestion.
We’re such a fatphobic society that it doesn’t surprise me that people use it as an insult… and I’d not be surprised if it does hurt to be called that for the same reason. As if it’s worse to be fat than a racist, homophobic, fatphobic, drunk neighbor.
This is totally unrelated but your comment reminded me of it, @TheLadyE. Probably 11-12 years ago, a HS friend of mine had an on/off boyfriend. After one of their break-ups, the guy took her dogs and then let them out on the side of the freeway. OMFG. By this time, she and I weren’t really in contact — I only know because she put a desperate plea out on FB for help finding them — so I never found out how the story ended. I’m guessing not well.
Sorry to hear your friends are moving, though, @TheLadyE. It sucks to lose your people nearby. I’ve had a handful of good friends leave the city I’m in after having kids, so I get it. Hopefully they’ll be close enough that you can still visit, though.
I think it’s so fucked! I’m so angry for them. I’ve had weird or annoying neighbors, but never anyone completely unhinged. I guess he also made comments about their dogs and my friend is scared he will hurt them. Now that I’ve seen some of his arrest records, I’d not put it past him. He seems to do what he wants no matter the consequence. I know it’s not a great personality trait, but I’d have gone OFF if this happened to me. I don’t start shit, but I will get into it if someone comes at me.
Oh man. So my friend and her husband recently bought a house, a small two-bedroom that needs a bit of TLC that her very handy husband felt was within his capabilities. Well, this past weekend was the first one that they spent in the house and they’re now learning their next door neighbor is off his rocker. It sounds bad. They were outside with their dogs and the guy was absolutely wasted and got into it with my friend’s husband, saying how much he hates fat people and asking her husband when he realized he was so obese that he couldn’t see his dick anymore. He made sexually explicit comments toward my friend. She started recording the conversation and sent it in a group chat with other friends and they tell him, “This conversation is over,” and the guy starts SCREAMING about how it’s his yard and he can say whatever he wants. He then blasted loud music well into the night and was screaming obscenities about them and other neighbors (a gay couple and a black and Puerto Rican neighbors). I told her to document everything so they can take it to the police but I just looked up this guy’s arrest records, which are public, and he has quite a few arrests under his belt. Including things like assault with a deadly weapon, assault with intent to commit great bodily harm, violating an order of protection, etc. I feel so bad for them and wish I knew how to help. They’re debating flipping and selling. I’ve offered to help them get the place flipped quickly if they choose that route.
Last week we had our first large-scale work event since 2019. It was… weird. I was one few wearing a mask. I thought there would be more. I was pretty much in conference rooms with other people from 8-4 every day, followed by social/networking events, followed by a dinner. Super curious if any COVID cases are going to arise from it, which we may not know about for at least a few more days.
On the bright side, it was SO nice to see my coworkers who came up here from our HQ office for the event. I had a great time with them.
@hfantods I’ve been MIA but congratulations! I hope your wedding day was a blast. Let us know how it went when you have a chance.
If anyone tries Glossier’s vitamin C serum, I’m curious your thoughts. I read reviews before pulling the trigger and a bunch of people thought it was abrasive. That has not been my experience but I get that no one product will ever be for everyone.
One of my friends found out four or five months in that her boyfriend was secretly married. He’d made up some story about his wife being dead when in reality the wife was alive and well and they were living together, allegedly divorcing but who even knows. I know that’s not second family level lying, but he’d created, for instance, a second FB profile to support the lies he was telling. I met him and so did a bunch of our college friends. I wasn’t particularly impressed with him. He was quiet, a bit standoffish, so I just thought he was a dull, boring guy. He seemed fa-haaar too boring to be the kind of person he turned out to be. I thought it was wild. And sad. She was pretty upset despite it being a shorter relationship.
The idea of people having second families is so odd to me. Like, how do you keep something that big hidden? I don’t understand. It also sounds exhausting to live that way. Or do the families kinda know and look the other way?
I’ve had quite a few friends/acquaintances end up on dates or in relatively short relationships with men they met online who are secretly married or in relationships. In just about every situation I can think of, it reached a point where the man was acting shady enough that alarm bells went off (or the wife/gf found out and messaged them) and every time, the friend/acquaintance has been rightfully grossed out and shut it down. Like it’s hard to imagine it escalating to full fledged second family.
One of my aunts, who went through a very contentious divorce about 15 years ago, highly suspected her ex-husband of having a second family in China, where he traveled often for work. This has never been confirmed (at least not to me), but I feel like for her to suspect this, there had to have been something (behavior, something going on with the finances, etc.) that she picked up on. I feel like most people wouldn’t jump to that conclusion without something that raised an eyebrow. I know at least during the divorce he was hiding assets and whatnot. Her ex has been living in Hong Kong since they split. She has two son from that marriage, both of whom had strained relationships with their dad in the aftermath and that they’ve only really started to mend in the past five or so years. In 2019, the oldest son, who would’ve been early 30s at the time, went to Hong Kong to visit and met his dad’s girlfriend who was in her early 20s. He was easily in his 60s by then. Ick.
My aunt has since met a very decent man and while I’ve heard some stories that would suggest her marriage/divorced fucked with her for a long while, even after meeting her now-partner, I’m glad she’s met someone with a good heart who appreciates her. I am a big fan of kind eyes/faces, which he has.
I’m affected a little bit by these changes, but not as much as others. I inherited some work from the employee we laid off, so I do some work for the department even though it’s not my department or what I was hired to do. I don’t have much bandwidth left at this point. Taking on more has not come up, but I suppose it may, so my ears are pricked waiting for details on what rebuilding that department is going to look like. If anything, it’d be nice if I could punt the extra work back over to its rightful department.
Cases here were trending up, we’re in the “high risK” category for transmission right now. It’s not lost on me that we’re on the cusp of hosting a larger, in-person event while simultaneously on the receiving end of email reminders about the elevated risk and our policies. Our event will be a mix of indoor meetings and outdoor events. I’ll be masking up.
So maybe two or so months ago I posted about how a mid-level director was quitting right around when we’d be onboarding a new, higher-level director and wondering about the ripple effects. Since coming back to the office I’ve learned that the mid-level director was interested in the higher level role but did not get it, so she found a new job. Still unsure if she was intentionally pushed out, but it’s clear she felt that way. This department used to have four staff members, but a couple years ago someone quit and the role was never backfilled, then late 2020, another was laid off. So the department was down to two. Anyway, the mid-level director’s direct report put in his notice and this is his last week. That department is now down to one brand new director and we have our first in-person, larger scale event next week and this department is the backbone of it. So work is interesting right now and the next couple weeks at work are going to be long, I think. This level of hiring decisions happens way above me, which is fine, but from the outside looking in I’m perplexed.
I feel like it’s helping with some pigmentation issues… my skin tone looks more even to me after a couple weeks of use. I was debating between Glossier and a Dermalogica product that has the same inactive form of vitamin C and promises to deliver similar results, but Glossier was like 1/3 of the price.
