Copa

@TheLadyE I’m sorry you and your family are having a rough year. My parents have a lot of marital issues and have for ages, and while my parents’ problems are different, I’ve found it helpful to not engage. Their marital problems are theirs to sort out and if one needs a shoulder to lean on, well… that’s what friends and mental health professionals are for, not children. Highly recommend setting some boundaries there so as to not make someone else’s burden yours to carry when you yourself have enough of your own problems to deal with. I felt mean when I started doing this, but for me, it was crucial.

And yes to walking! It’s super underrated for weight management and mental health. Put some earbuds in and grab your pups! Set attainable goals for yourself. Maybe right now it’s just walking at least one mile/day. When that becomes habit, up that goal a little. The whole 10,000 steps thing is great, but the number is arbitrary and if you’re currently very sedentary, probably not the best/easiest goal to start with.

The M.Gemi shoes arrived and while they are a very nice shoe, will likely be going back. They have no support (expected), but my custom insoles don’t super well with them. So that’s pretty disappointing. I’m going to wear them around the house a bit while I decide. Also debating seeing if a size swap would help.

Oh man, @Wendy. That sucks. I hope the rest of you stay well and that Joanie’s symptoms stay minor/that she makes a full, swift recovery. I hope you won’t have to cancel with your sister.

We went to Indiana over the weekend to visit my cousin, her husband, and their twin toddlers. We had to pop into a grocery store quickly to buy burgers for grilling and NOBODY was masked except us.

I once got asked by a coworker at my first job if she could touch my hair. She wanted to feel how thick it was. I said yes but in hindsight a bit weird.

Yeah, I really think the only time appearance ought to be discussed at work is, like, if someone shows up looking inappropriate for something. Like if I show up to an important meeting or event in distressed jeans and a crop top or something, by all means, say something. But if you think I wear too much black, keep that to yourself… when I was in law school I wore a red top under a black suit to some oral arguments and the amongst the feedback I received from the fake judges grading us was that the red was “too flashy” (and that IRL some judges would have issue with my wearing a pant suit over a skirt suit). Can’t win sometimes!

My boss was hired maybe seven or so years before I was by a couple older men who have since retired, both of whom spent most of their careers here. I guess one of them told my boss that he was hired a few years too late to enjoy the Mad Men culture the office used to have. Not that it’s an excuse, but our executive director has spent his entire career here, so this is the only office culture he knows. The office doesn’t have that feel now and I’m glad. It’s usually fine and I like working here more than I’ve liked past companies (by far!), but every once in awhile something happens that I’ll side-eye. I’m sometimes vocal depending on what’s going on, but then wonder if all I’m doing is putting a target on my own back. Anyway.

I work in the legal space so my company is a bit old-school and slow to adapt, just like the rest of the field and many firms seem to be. The executive director has made a few comments about what I’m wearing. It hasn’t happened in maybe three or four years, though. Not super creepy comments but he’d make “jokes.” Like when I wore a black sheath dress to a meeting I was told would very formal, he commented that I looked like I was going to a funeral. After that on another occasion where I was wearing black, he greeted me with, “Good mourning.” (He spelled it aloud for me so that I’d understand the “joke.”) The first couple times it happened, I tried a polite fake laugh. But after a few times and feeling increasingly WTF, I decided to just stare at him. It wasn’t super regular, but it stopped completely after that. I’ve heard him make comments to other coworkers, like the time he sarcastically commented “nice hair” to a coworker with curly hair on a very humid summer day. It’s dumb. I generally like him and think he’s great at what he does in that role, I suspect he’ll retire within a couple years and it’ll be a big loss for the company, but that kind of behavior… no thanks.