Copa
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She did. I’m just used to feeling more vetted, I guess, and I like meeting and asking questions to multiple members of a team as the interviewee. Not that I have an offer or anything at this point. This job is open in like seven major markets and I’m told they will be meeting with several more candidates in the coming weeks. So now I wait. In any case, the skills test I took may be the factor the hiring manager cares about most.
Well. I just had a final interview in which I only met one person (the hiring manager, nobody else from the team) and was asked exactly two questions. The rest of the time was filled by my many questions. I also took a skills test that I am grateful was timed because it’s something I could have spent hours on. I feel so uncomfortable that either party is expected to make a decision based on that interview.
Thank you for the feedback! I did wonder if my target salary range would seem high if they don’t care about as much about my higher degree as the initial job posting made it sound like they did. I brought it up. I asked for what I want, they said my target range is in alignment with their range. It was a positive experience so guess now we’ll wait and see if I move forward in the process.
I actually interviewed at this company seven years ago, but they moved slow as molasses then. My current company offered me a job swiftly and I accepted, so I withdrew my candidacy at this place. If I move forward in the interview process, I’ll be interviewed next by the same hiring manager as seven years ago.
This didn’t feel like it warranted it’s own thread, but curious if those with more professional experience have any impressions.
I applied for a job for online. On paper, it seems like it’d be a perfect fit for all. HR reached out to set up a phone interview. Great! After setting up a date/time (Monday), I received another email from my HR contact essentially saying, “In preparation for your phone interview, please review the job description below.” It’s a similar job description for the one I applied for, but it’s not identical. They added a few items to the list of responsibilities and removed language indicating that they prefer someone with the higher degree that I have. (If it’s relevant, I’ve looked up other employees who have this same title at this company on LinkedIn, they all have the same higher degree I have.) The job description online (website and LinkedIn) has not changed. I’m not sure if this is a red flag?
I saw on local news recently that a young-ish woman in my area has spent over a year talking to someone she met online that she thinks is a Chicago Fire actor. They’ve never met in person. She has gone through lengths, including draining her retirement savings and taking out loans, to send him tens of thousands of dollars at his request. 😭 Unfortunately there are scammers out there happy to prey on those eager to find love. Retirement age folks seem like common targets.
When people treat us poorly, that’s a reflection of them and their inner world, not a reflection of us or our value. But yes, you have a pattern of picking men who turn out to be utter jerks and it sounds like it’d be worth your while to speak to a therapist about it.
Reading your other post, it seems you keep men around when things aren’t working and the relationship isn’t serving you. Why? And is that also part of your larger pattern?
Because you asked for someone to say something other than “forget him”…
BOTH of you are waving bright red flags here. You have not met in person yet, you haven’t spent any amount of meaningful time together. You don’t know him. You should not be discussing where you will retire with someone you do not know nor should you wait “awhile” for him to return to to U.S. I think you’d be foolish not to go out with the local men on dating sites who are showing interest in getting to know you.
Given the details here I’d not be surprised if this turns out to be some kind of scam.
To clarify, I stand by my advice in general, but not for Taco Tuesday. Not sure if that was clear. I do think an emotionally healthy person can go out with someone and suss out for themselves if the behavior exhibited is problematic. Someone who is still very unhealed may not, or may even be attracted to someone who feels familiar even if that familiarity is messed up. This is why we’ve asked you to be honest about who you are when you are posting, WonderingGirl/TacoTuesday, because it can change the advice given.
It is a little comical to me that you express concern about this guy possibly being too much of a work in progress in your first post when you yourself have major issues and trauma from your past that you have not dealt with. You have a lot to unpack and heal from. I do hope you will seek the help and support of a therapist. I don’t see how you will have healthy relationships until you do your own inner work.
So, I thought this was the commenter who had posted a couple times who wanted a guy’s number and they’d hung out for six hours but asking for his number was still somehow too weird.
Anyway, I thought/think it’s weird to be able to point out someone’s potentially serious flaws while still so clearly wanting their interest. But I do stand by what I said. If it’s a yellow fag **to you**, proceed with caution. (Same could be said for red flags that aren’t outright dealbreakers.) And social stalking as a way of “getting to know” someone is problematic. But if you’re Taco Tuesday, therapy.
This wasn’t a first date since it was a group outing/invite for the entire book club. It sounds like two acquaintances, one of whom was playfully elbow nudging the other in the ribs at the mention of their shared space.
T H E R A P Y.
IDK. My take is still that you’re jumping the gun. This man is an acquaintance but you’re scouring his internet presence for evidence of your compatibility (or lack thereof) — highly recommend against this as a general rule of thumb — and looking to fairly innocuous interactions to determine his level of interest in you. And you do want him to be interested in you. And by your standards, what you’ve uncovered online is a yellow flag. So, get to know him keeping in mind what you’ve already learned. Find out if you actually like him. All this speculation is kind of a waste of time IMO.
I’m curious what you wanted or expected him to do after walking you to your car?
Eh, I feel like if I was asked to speak honestly and publicly about something I’ve had to unlearn/deconstruct as an adult, I’d not sound great myself.
