Copa
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I have a June-June lease. I’ve been in this building for years and normally don’t get the lease renewal papers until at least March so I was very surprised to receive them on February 1. Reviewed the paperwork to see if they had the lease dates correct and they do. Called to ask if it was a mistake and it’s not. I’ve already asked about month-to-month and it was a no.
And yes, I’m inclined to resign the lease. I have a true one bedroom in a nice neighborhood and my rent is so low that I think I could fairly easily find a sublessor or someone to take over the lease. I see crappy studios listed for more than what I pay. I have the money to break the lease and think BG would split it with me if I asked, but it’s obviously not my preferred option. In theory he could sell and live with me temporarily, too, but my place would be small for two people and a medium-sized dog.
We were planning to rent for the time being and buy if/when we get married. (We’re actually checking out some swanky-looking rental building this weekend just to see what the units are like in person.) But timing everything correctly is more complicated than I thought even though I know people buy and sell homes all the time, move in with SOs all the time, break up with live-in SOs all the time.
So I feel like I touched on this awhile back. For those of you who moved in with a partner and it involved the sale of one (or I suppose both!) person’s real estate, how the heck do people time this stuff? I got my lease renewal papers earlier than expect this year and am getting down to the wire to sign or not. BG owns his place and like I mentioned, it’s not a dog-friendly building (I have a dog) and he’s increasingly annoyed with the neighbors. So we’ve decided our best bet is to look for something new together. But that involves selling his place, which is something he hasn’t really put much thought into yet. No clue how long it’ll take to sell it. I’m hesitant to NOT resign my lease because my rental rate is so low that I’m positive it’ll be snatched up quickly. I have no idea how people get the timing of this stuff right.
Oooh. I’m curious how long you’ll have to wait. I went to Cabra last June, we had a reservation at an off time on a Friday, and it was packed. I liked it, though. Enjoyed my food, enjoyed my drinks, was glad we snagged a seat on the patio. Have a great time!
Also just got an email from the event I went to last night that I won dance lessons in their raffle. A little sad I didn’t win wine (ha!), but I think dance lessons could be fun.
I had a great time at my galentine’s event last night and it made me wish the real holiday was celebrating friendships. Hungover today because wine and chocolate apparently doesn’t make for a great dinner. Who knew?
Love the dress, @Veritek! I like the details and vintage look. And that plunging neckline 😮
So Canada. I’m dying to visit Banff and think I’d also enjoy Vancouver. I have a good friend in Toronto and visit regularly and really enjoy it. I’ve never been to Niagara on the Lake, but my friend in Toronto goes just about every summer and I’ve heard nothing but great things. If you pass through the Chicago area on your way into Canada, hit me up! I love showing people this city, but now that I’ve been here for several years, don’t have as many visitors.
On Thursday, I’m doing a galentine’s chocolate and wine stroll after work.
BG works in the healthcare IT/software space and a major hospital just integrated their software and BG’s team has to provide 24/7 support for this week and the next two. He normally works 9-5, but his schedule is all kinds of messed up right now. I feel like I’m barely going to see him before our trip in a few weeks. He’s been working third shift the past three nights, has tonight off, then works 2 p.m. to midnight tomorrow and Friday. We’re not big into Valentine’s Day, either, but right now I’m planning to cook a nice dinner on Saturday so we can have a lower-key night in. Thinking scallops and risotto, wine, and I’m planning to bake a carrot cake on Friday night. I got him a waterproof phone case for our trip as a small gift.
Yeahhh, her drinking and substance use have gotten out of control the past year, like she makes horrible choices and then feels awful and embarrassed. When I saw her in September, right after they ended things, it was a bigger group from college + SOs and she kept crying at the table, in front of everyone, because she was coming down from a coked up weekend with this guy. And kept disappearing to the bathroom, I think to snort more. She finally got into therapy and I hope she’s bringing this stuff up in there because it’s gotten out of control. Like she was the type to send a scorched earth text to a guy who has rejected her before, but this is legit unstable behavior. And this relationship, or whatever it is they’re doing, it’s not going to end any better when it ends again.
I went to happy hour with a couple of girlfriends the other night. One told us she’s once again seeing the guy she was dating last summer — they were not exclusive but had discussed sexual exclusivity and things ended when he told her she needed to get checked for chlamydia because he had a few other partners. We asked how/when, and it was actually last fall, she’d been too embarrassed to tell us because of how upset she was last summer and because they got back together after she literally went to his house drunk in the middle of the night and spray painted “[NAME] HAS CHLAMYDIA” on his fence. OMFG. And she was like, “Well I’m only telling you guys because good friends don’t judge.” But no, I’m judging. That’s messed up and I think they’re both being stupid to give it another go.
Heh, @hfantods, my mom has been VERY VOCAL about not liking my exes. With my second LTR, I knew she didn’t approve and I remember her telling me at one point, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” Which wasn’t helpful and I actually fear she’d say something like that when I tell her I’m engaged. My sister has a “faux-beau” who has visited home with her, so he’s met my parents, and my mom is outrageously negative about him every chance she gets. Her silence may actually be approval. My parents’ marriage was bad and very sad, they finally divorced like two years ago… my mom is really bitter and I think the entire experience colors her perception of relationships. The outright negativity can be difficult to deal with even when I understand why it’s there.
Happy birthday, @Allornone. I hope you enjoy your dinner and brunch!
Yeah, it’s just how they are. I told my therapist recently that I don’t think of myself as someone who needs much external validation, I’ve never cared before if my family likes my boyfriend. But as things get more serious and we start talking about next steps like moving in and marriage, I do find myself increasingly feeling like… man, it’d be nice to hear my parents say just once that they think he’s a good guy. They don’t live near us, but my aunt only spent one meal with him and still pulled me aside for a genuine, “He seems so nice, I really like him!”
As an aside, I caught an interview with Jessica Simpson recently where she said that at her first wedding, her dad reminded her that she could still back out a few minutes before they were supposed to walk down the aisle. Not great timing, but I did think to myself that it was nice he cared enough to be vocal, even if that’s prooobably not what you want your dad to say to you before he walks you down the aisle.
It’d make me happy in the way @veritek described. I think it’s nice that his family is excited about me — and not just because it’s flattering to be liked, I assume it’s a nice feeling for him, too. My aunt greeting him enthusiastically made me happy. It’s a bit of a bummer to see that kind of warmth in others that I don’t see or feel with my nuclear family.
