Copa
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BG and I had a super busy weekend! His dad was/still is in town from NY, and my aunt, uncle, cousin, and her two baby girls were in town as well. The weekend was a blur of family time and I’m less-than-rested on this Monday morning. But, I’m glad BG finally got to meet more of my family. I feel like we see his often due to proximity, but mine’s farther away. My aunt whispered to me as I was leaving that she really liked him, which meant a lot. I’ve been talking to my therapist lately about how I do find myself wishing for a bit of validation (not sure if this is the word I’m searching for) from my family that he’s as great as I think he is. My nuclear family is probably weirdly unemotional and we’re not very close — like before BG I just kinda felt like I existed alone, figured everything out alone, my parents truly do not care about my dating life and have never asked — but his family is so enthusiastic about me and I’ve been finding myself wishing for the same response from mine.
So I posted about something similar in this thread a few months ago when I won Hamilton tickets and felt shy/nervous about asking BG’s mom to come with me. Like Kate said, it’s lower stakes, but doesn’t necessarily feel like it because it’s a small but new way of putting yourself out there.
Anyway, if you want to ask her — ask her! I didn’t have BG’s mom’s number at the time, so I had him ask her for me. You can ask him to get in touch with her directly even if you have her contact info if you don’t feel comfortable doing so. If it’s something she’s genuinely interested in and tickets are hard to come by, she’ll probably say yes. If she says no, she’ll probably be happy you thought of her and relay back a polite no and then you ask a friend. (BG’s mom couldn’t come to Hamilton with me, she was out of town, but she appreciated being asked and I was happy I put myself out there.)
It’s fine to turn this into an opportunity to bond with your boyfriend’s sister if that’s how you’re feeling. If you’d rather go with your boyfriend, wait to see if he can come before inviting anyone else (obviously).
That’s frustrating, @Cleo! Even if the sites you’re on right now are designed for more casual encounters (just assuming!), you’d think basic courtesies would still apply. BUT, I’m glad to hear you’re exploring this area of your sexuality in a way you couldn’t with your ex and hopefully feeling better about your break-up.
So this weekend I asked BG when his next HOA meeting is because we need to get a real answer about my dog living there. It hasn’t been scheduled yet (they are quarterly), but it now seems he is now leaning a bit more toward finding something new together. His upstairs neighbors have a 10-month-old, and we didn’t hear anything at first, but now that the baby is getting older and more active, the noise is pretty constant, and he knows it’s just going to be louder and louder/more and more as the baby grows. He works remote a couple days/week and he said it’s frustrating during the workday. I think that plan would push our timeline out, but it’s my preference so I’m ok with that if that’s the route we take.
So I used the royal we a lot at work when referring to my boyfriend before he came up, and I truly think my coworkers assumed I was using “we” to refer to me and my dog every time. LOL.
Also regarding trips, I’ve now started getting quite a few “omg you’re going to get ENGAGED IN HAWAII” comments from friends. I’m not and I know I’m not because we’ve discussed timelines, he knows I’m not there yet, but people keep insisting I’m lying or wrong.
How are things with you, @Ale? I feel like we haven’t had any updates in awhile! (Also, sorry to hear about your sister’s marriage.)
To my Disney friend and her Disney husband’s credit, they live in FL (well, she does — they’re currently in an LDR marriage, it’s weird) and have season passes. So I assume that helps keep costs down. But the heat, the crowds, the lines, the added costs — just not for me as a regular activity. She also had her bachelorette party at Disney. When I saw photos online, I admit — I felt a bit excluded when I saw who made the invite list. But then I thought of how much money the other women were out paying for their airfare and several days of park admission and hotels, not to mention food, drinks, and the ugly matching shirts they wore. I grew up not far from Disneyland, and we had season passes when I was a kid and I have fond memories of going with my family. I’d go back to Disneyland in Anaheim for the nostalgia.
I will also say, I was VERY impressed by the public beach at Hilton Head. It was clean. There was a free parking lot, and we didn’t even have to get there early to nab a great spot. It was Fourth of July weekend and I was expecting a giant clusterfuck, but it was actually fine. Not overly-crowded. They also had beach chairs and umbrellas set up for rent. A lifeguard comes up and down the beach to rent them out — something like $20/day — so literally all you have to do is park yourself in an available spot and wait to be taken care of. Zero issues getting a spot on the beach late morning of a holiday weekend. I was the sole fair-skinned one amongst my friends on that trip and was majorly relieved to have shade on such a hot day at the beach. The water was warm and calm. There was good seafood nearby. I lived in Southern California for a few years as a kid and I remember weekends at the beach well, but it was always a production because you had to lug your own everything — chairs, umbrellas, towels, food, drinks. This was awesome by comparison.
I’d have biked around Savannah if it hadn’t been 110+ degrees. We rented a car for two of the days we were there for excursions and they upgraded us to a convertible for free. We were so excited but learned the hard way that top down in 110 degrees isn’t delightful.
That’s fair, I get it. Sucks that it will be so expensive to attend your SIL’s wedding, too — the older I get, the more frustrated I am by weddings and pre-wedding events that add up for guests. I think Savannah would be a great honeymoon spot regardless of SIL’s plans. It was laid back, and we had great food and drinks while there. Did a plantation tour. Did a day trip to Hilton Head and a river cruise. Ate my own weight in pralines. May would probably be great weather, too.
Happy bday, @ktfran! How long will you be in Kenya/Tanzania? I’m assuming it’s a safari and I’m so jealous. I wanted to go to Kruger so bad when I was in South Africa last year but I couldn’t make it work. I told BG I want to go on a safari either for his 40th (a couple years away) or for our honeymoon.
Is this long weekend going to be your honeymoon? If so, and none of the nearby options appeal to you two, you could consider pushing it back a bit to save up for what you actually want to do.
One of my oldest friends lives in FL now and it’s where she met her now-husband. They go to Disney allllll the time — like probably one weekend/month — and I think it’s so weird.
Oh, also — Savannah, GA, is within a few hours drive (I assume) and very charming. I can’t recall when MoV’s sister is getting married, but if it’s not in the middle of summer, I think that’d make a great long weekend trip. I went last Fourth of July and thought I was going to perish in the heat — do not recommend that time of year — but otherwise had a blast.
Charleston also seems charming and worth a long weekend (haven’t been since I was a kid, so I don’t speak from experience), but it’d be a longer drive.
The Keys look great, though I’ve never been and don’t know how pricey that gets. I was in Bonita Springs just outside of Ft. Myers for Thanksgiving and actually really liked it (I generally don’t find Florida appealing). Cancun would be a short flight from FL and I always see pretty fantastic RT airfare from where I live, so I assume it’d be similar or even less from Orlando — could be doable if you found good airfare and stayed at an all-inclusive.
