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Oof. Yeah. I’m so sorry! It’s hard enough to grieve and start moving on when you have to see your ex regularly, but to have to stick it out living together a few more weeks until you can move out must be really difficult.
But I agree with others that it’s great that you did what was right for you, even though it’s painful. Several years ago, after ending an LTR, I cried to an older coworker about how much it hurt and sucked, and how it felt abrupt. And she told me that it was actually a good thing. I was able to recognize, relatively fast, that something not-fixable wasn’t working for me, and I didn’t try to force something that wasn’t trying to force something that wasn’t working anymore. Same wisdom applies here, I think!
Anyway, take good care of yourself! I hope you are meeting fun, new people through school who can help keep your mind off things.
Guyyys. BG just got an offer for a job that won’t have him traveling nearly as much anymore! It’s not official yet, but I’m pretty excited that in as soon as a few weeks, I might be done with the traveling boyfriend lifestyle. He leaves for a quick trip with his dad and bro early Saturday a.m., and I leave on a vacation of my own early next week, so I’m hoping it’s a done deal by Friday so we can celebrate together.
@Ale I’m glad you feel mostly great about being single! I was single for over four years between my last LTR and current boyfriend, and hated being single at first. I think it’s normal to sometimes get down/frustrated/lonely being single (or, at least, it happened to me), and taking dating breaks during those times is a good idea. But as far as jerk ex-boyfriends suddenly becoming wonderful partners goes, I don’t think that happens.
I think Sundays are fine for dates if you’re not someone who is usually raging on Saturday nights. I didn’t have any rules about which days of the week I was willing to go on dates, but did make sure that I didn’t interrupt my own life/routine too much to go on them. After-work drinks was usually my go-to.
Yeah, @Jimmyjam, you once bragged on here that you’d divorced and remarried in the time this thread has been going on. Congrats(?) again on those boast-worthy accomplishments. Can’t imagine why someone wouldn’t want to stay married to you. We look forward to hearing about your next divorce, though!
@Ale What were you hoping to get from your talks? I’m kinda curious. I can’t remember the specifics, but he was a massive jerk during/after your break-up, right? I’m with @scorpio that reconnecting with an ex is seldom, if ever, worth it. But I hope it’s some kind comfort to you that you KNOW you don’t want him back. He’s still the same jerk he always was and always will be!
@Veritek If MoV’s sister doesn’t end up divorced, I’ll be shocked. She sounds super bratty and too immature for marriage. Glad you found a great courthouse, though!
@hfantods Just go to what you are able to attend with your schedule and budget. Two weeks notice isn’t a ton to give for a bachelorette party, it shouldn’t shock anyone if you can’t attend the whole thing. I’m sure your friend will be happy to celebrate with you at even one event.
@scorpio ? That’s also creepy, I’m sorry you’re dealing with him. An acquaintance of mine had a guy she broke things off with after a couple months of dating show up at her office and such for quite awhile. Texted her constantly. I think showed up at her place sometimes. She’s since met someone great but she was understandably freaked out and didn’t date for quite awhile after that.
@ktfran He greeted me by name (both years). ??♀️ He was a bit awkward, but a kind, intelligent, and funny guy. The awkward runs deep, I guess.
Oh, yikes! That’s weird, @scorpio. Any guy who tells you your reasons for ending things aren’t valid is a bullet dodged, and the Facebook message IS creepy. You should’ve changed your profile picture to one of you and your boyfriend as a response. (Kidding.) If he ever reaches out again on any other platform, block immediately.
The guy reaching out to me… I don’t know what his deal is. I love the suggested responses to him, haha. I don’t think he’s interested (I responded to him last year, and didn’t hear a thing back), but I don’t know what his deal is. I’d pretty much forgotten about him and don’t even have his phone number saved anymore. He was a nice guy, but I’m not sorry things didn’t work out.
Kinda funny story. So two years ago, I dated one of the guys I met online for about 6 months. I believe I called him AT on here. About this time last year, he sent me a text about his 10K time at a race even though we hadn’t been in contact in about six months. I wrote back just to say great job, and never heard back from him. This morning he sent me a text to let me know this year’s 10K time for the same race. Not planning to respond this time, but thought I’d share cause it’s kinda funny and also fairly odd.
Add me to the list of people who isn’t surprised. She’s seemed like more and more of a self-centered pain in the ass with every update.
Like @ktfran, I have also looked into the Saturday wedding option at the Chicago Cultural Center. It’s once a month, and you can invite up to 20 people. So if you’re up for a road trip with your parents, it’d be a beautiful place for a simple wedding.
That said, I probably wouldn’t change my plans if I were you. I do believe it is MOV’s place to help manage this situation, but his sister needs to grow the F up. There are ways to be the bigger person without letting her walk all over you.
ETA: Honestly, what kind of nutjob gets upset that another bride has a dress? Jeez.
Oh yeah. That makes more sense when explained in the correct order, haha. That said, I still stand by my “just donate” stance.
I can’t imagine anyone in my family ever making a big stink over my needing a registry (or anything else traditional to weddings, for that matter), so all the comments I see on this site about family members getting bent out of shape over weddings that aren’t even their weddings are very foreign to me.
ETA: I know Christmas gifts are of a different nature, but I received a couple gifts this year that I could not return or exchange, and they immediately went into my donation pile. No regrets on my end.
I agree that a registry helps maximize getting gifts you’d actually like, but omg, you complained!? I’m sorry but I think that’s in poor form. :-/
So I went off-registry for the most recent wedding I went to. Something small, and also gave cash. It was something I saw and immediately thought of my friend and the groom. I’d be pretty annoyed if it got back to me that my friend was complaining over a gift I actually put thought into. Idk, if she doesn’t want, like, or need it, she can quietly donate or even re-gift it, she doesn’t have to complain in a way where it’d get back to me. That’s what I’d do if I got something I didn’t like or want.
So then it’d just be an engagement party? I guess if I were invited to anything with the word “shower” in it, I’d assume it’s a gift-giving party. I’ve only been to one engagement party, and gifts didn’t seem as central there (though some people did bring gifts). Most of my friends and family who have gotten married have not had showers, so I may just be totally out of the loop.
