Desiree

“I am also very, very lucky I live in a big city where I’m not a total oddball. I don’t know how people in suburban and rural areas deal with all the shaming that comes with being a feminist and/or not taking someone’s last name. Like, how do you navigate those conversations? How do those conversations happen?”

Yeah, those conversations aren’t easy. I have always been a bit of a black sheep in my small Southern town because from a young age I knew I wanted to go to med school and, well, that’s not what women are supposed to do in my town. I made the mistake of staying in-state for college, and I could hardly get a second date with the boys at my school. “So, I know you want to go to med school, but afterwards you’ll stay home with the kids, right?” *facepalm* [I deeply respect and admire stay-at-home moms, but going to med school and then not using the degree seemed like unnecessary punishment.]

My fiance is from LA and very supportive of women’s rights. Tonight I told him that I will be taking his name after our wedding for a number of very personal reasons. But I kind of dread telling people back home that I’m taking his name, because I’m afraid that they will be smug about it, as though I have finally “come round” to their way of thinking. I love my fiance and am very happy to take his name, but it’s not for patriarchal reasons.