FireStar
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Me too – CNN-TF-DW
@Guy Friday – The difference between being given away by a father and a husband insisting on a wife taking his name is the party affected. In one case a woman chooses that her father “give her away” whereas in the other the husband chooses for the wife what her last name will be. If the husband wanted to change HIS last name – then that would be comparable.
But I agree with you – men shouldn’t be faulted for what they want. But what you insist on – to the detriment of another’s wishes – then that is deserving of fault. And I would say the same if the bride forced the groom into something he didn’t want that adversely affected him, too.
I think I commented on the original post as well but I’m married and I kept my name. There was no discussion – my husband just assumed I would I guess and truly I never contemplated ever changing my name even though ex-boyfriends would tell me they wanted me to. My husband couldn’t care less. When people ask us we say we each decided to keep our names. We both get mail addressed to each us with our first names and the other’s last name – no one cares.
I’m of the belief that I shouldn’t ask anyone to do anything I wouldn’t do myself and no one should ask anything of me that they wouldn’t do themselves.
And when did feminist become a bad word? I’m with the other posters – feminism is about the ability to choose. There should be no judgement on WHAT you choose – take his name/don’t take his name; work/stay home; breast feed/use formula – whatever you want – just be thankful for the right to choose because the women before you had to fight and struggle for that right for you – and you bet your ass they were feminists.
Thank you Wendy for creating and fostering this wonderfully insightful and supportive community. Clearly you set the bar for all the commentators – and it’s wonderful you set it so high. This sight has opened me up to more shades of gray – and I’m definitely richer for it.
