Lianne
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Thanks, RR!
Hey guys…I am back at work and on a computer again so here I am butting in 🙂
I’ve only ready the last few pages. Dre, one other thing to consider is that he said he’s deleting Tinder, which still has the stigma of being a hook-up app…perhaps he wanted to make it clear he’s not looking to hook up. My advice to you is to STOP OVERANALYZING and perhaps don’t text so much between dates in the beginning. If he’s not texting to make a plan – or you’re not, then why bother with the communication? Also, text/email confuses tone, so you’re sitting here overanalyzing – as we all are – why he said that and what it means and is it a red flag. If you want to go out with him again, just do it.
I just think it’s terrible to make generalized comments about any group – similar to what I was saying regarding religion last week. Sure, some people within certain groups behave a certain way, but that doesn’t mean the whole group should be vilified. And obviously, if your FWB is spending as much time with you as he is (I still think of you two as dating 🙂 ), he should know better than to make or perpetuate comments like that.
Is having to split your meal on a first date really a deal breaker these days? Or were there other issues? I mean, I am with you…I usually liked to be treated on the first date if the guy did the asking, but I don’t think I would never go out with someone again if we split the meal.
But yeah, if you all are going to take breaks from dating, take breaks from dating!!!! 🙂
I was being general, but it’s something you should definitely explore when you’re looking inward. Like you said, you’re dealing with “a mom with dementia who is verbally abusive to me and dammit, sometimes my eyes just start leaking when life is overwhelming and whoever is in the way gets to deal with it!” Perhaps the idea of having someone there to help you deal with it emotionally is appealing? I am not saying that’s the case, I am not you and only know what you share via the internet. But I think it’s worth exploring yourself…
Yeah I would have to agree with Wendy and Skyblossom. There’s a difference between normal, early relationship issues (like what ktfran described) and full on meltdowns very early in dating. I definitely think Wendy’s advice about perhaps putting dating or potential new relationships on hold until periods of stress are over is sound. I will admit there were times in my dating life that I could have benefited from it. I think at times like those, we might be looking for someone to fix us or hold us up…that’s what family and good friends are for…not a new guy.
Sorry that happened and it came out at an inconvenient time and in such a dramatic way. But that’s how things work sometimes. You are going along, enjoying your relationship and then WHAM you act crazy and need to figure out why. I think the important thing is, you got to the root of why you were feeling so upset and talked it through. Hopefully you see some changes on that front and it will all be for the best.
And hopefully you can go away this weekend and enjoy yourselves. Don’t let this put a black cloud over the weekend.
OH I missed that it was @ktfran’s birthday yesterday since I was in meetings ALL DAY. Happy belated. Is this the weekend the guy is taking you away for a night?
Haha Kate you do that now and you’re married. 🙂
Stone I’m so happy for you. I know you are trying to make it work with your main partner again, but maybe it’s just not worth the effort? I dunno. It just sounds like you give him a lot and he either doesn’t appreciate it or doesn’t see it? When you had issues with his other partner it didn’t sound like your feelings were as valid. What’s his issue with this? Do you think it could be that he likes having someone else but doesn’t like you doing the same? Especially when it’s with someone you seem to like so much? Just speculating…
Yeah I had a pixie cut and it didn’t hurt anything. Don’t let that distract you!
