Lianne
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@Cleopatra, are you still looking for a FWB or something more? I can’t keep up!
@ktfran, I had the EXACT same thought when I saw TheLadeE’s update this morning! I got sidetracked with Veritek’s situation though 🙂
@Veritek, I am glad you are at least considering what I said. Just because two people like each other doesn’t mean a relationship is destined.
Sorry it was not the best of weekends, Veritek. I think when you consistently go such a long time without seeing someone you’re dating, you can build up what you want these weekends to be in your head, sometimes resulting in a not so great experience. You didn’t ask for advice, I know, but I feel compelled to discuss this a bit.
I know you have a lot of other stuff going on with the new house, your parents (mother in particular), etc. However, I think this long distance thing might be a little more stress than you can handle right now. I know you like this guy, but at some point you have to say, is this really worth it? You’ve been dating since August (first time you saw each other), which is almost 4 months, and you’ve seen each other about once a month in that time? I think you are well within your rights to say, look, I enjoy our time together but the stress of the long distance without knowing whether or not there is a future in this is too much. I mean Jesus. I got stressed out reading your update. I don’t know, Ver…just not sure what the upside is here.
@theLadyE I know you’re hurting, but seriously? Fuck that guy. He told you a little over a week ago he didn’t want to kiss you – let alone makeout – until you were in an exclusive relationship, strung you along while he was away, letting you think when he got back it would be just that, then drops a bomb on you? I am so pissed on your behalf. Be sad for what you thought was going to happen, but once that dissipates, I hope you realize what a huge dick this guy is.
Not for nothing, but I was still single when I turned 33 and started dating and fell in love with my now husband that year. It’s a good year, so keep that chin up. And definitely talk to someone because you are worth a hell of a lot more than the way these assholes are treating you.
I agree with Sas here. I believe Kate put that out there (that she was looking for a relationship) on her actual dating profile when she was still dating to weed out even the guys who would contact her – Kate is that right?
I can see him Kare. I think mobile changes all of the things you can view.
By three dates, I’d be up to over the shirt action versus over the table action…but I may be a little more “fast” than others 😉
Yeah, that doesn’t bother me either, that he asked other people. He was stressed about it and wanted to know the best way to broach it. (FWIW, I concur about The Melting Pot…we had a $50 Groupon the first – and last! – time we went and we STILL had to pay over $50 on top of it. Ridiculous. It’s fondue!)
I would agree with Kate that I think the fact he didn’t pay for your ONE $5 beer to be thoughtless. If he couldn’t afford to do that, he could have only had 2 beers and then treated you. I wouldn’t say this is a deal breaker, and it may not be a big deal to you (though I suspect it’s at least a bit of a deal since you brought it up), but something I would keep my eye on, if it were me.
Actually, I should say FORTUNATELY for me, because I adore my husband and he is so right for me – even though I didn’t realize it right away.
Mucha, you just reminded me of a faux-lationship I had several years ago where that is what I did. I needed reassurances that he was into me, so would think of shit to text or call him about. Unfortunately for me, that didn’t end as well as yours did…I was way more into him than he was me, but he liked me enough to keep up the sex until he started dating the chick he ended up marrying, but the main point here is, it was about my insecurity. I look back at that me and wish I could have just chilled out and enjoyed it for what it was. My issue then was that I was always looking for “the one” and couldn’t see that most of these guys I tried to fit into that role were so fucking wrong for me! Hahahaha….
Anyway, Veritek, I think Mucha has some solid advice here!
And I think that is where people thought you might be freaking out ever so slightly. I get it – you like him! You want this to go well and don’t want to sabotage it. But at some point you need to do you and not worry about how he’s perceiving it. You are part of this relationship (or whatever you want to call it) too, and your needs are just as important as his. If you want to talk more, tell him that! If you’re ok with it, then don’t overthink it or worry about what others have done. This is YOUR relationship and it might not look like every other LDR there ever was.
Ok. When you mentioned that the texting cadence has diminished a bit, I wasn’t sure where your head was. Glad you’re chill! 🙂
