misses98
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I am crying all day, every day after this and I self harm daily. I’ve never been like that.
Oh, forgot. He also said he wanted to meet again and that I was cute.
I tried killing myself while in the hospital. Failed.
I don’t believe he was a rape victim just that he mocked me. I bled a ton so he didn’t believe I was ever raped and “made up stories”.
I feel completely worthless.
The messed up mindset I have is that I feel horrible for the fact that he deleted his account. Because he was the only one who did not ever find me disgusting, but WANTED me. This is the only man ever who wanted to touch me, and not puke at looking at me. He kissed me, he hugged me, he finished. Nobody has ever even LOOKED at me like that.
He followed me.
He trapped me. I am trapped.
This is the most bizzare thing I’ve ever seen. He always asks me how I’m doing, I told him I feed some strays and he bought food for the strays so I can keep going to feed them. He wasn’t where he left the food. I do not understand.
I went to the ER after taking many pills two nights in a row. They didn’t help me at all. I wasn’t accepted inpatient. They say there’s no reason. They didnt even give me anything for my stomach. Their attitude was “what can I do that you can’t on your own”. He didn’t even. Give me the meds I ran out of and now I had to go cold turkey on everything.
I. Feel. So. Horrible.
I can’t afford a second opinion. This is all public health care I get for 100% free apart from the medicine, that I have to pay for. Either way.
I was just hoping the therapist would help me start feeling better along the way, to gradually start taking the medication (def not any psych ones, just my physical conditions) and not require me to start taking them alone without any help. This is why I went to therapy, to find the reason it is so hard for me to follow through treatments, and battle it along the way. If I could do that alone, I’d not have been in her office.
It’s like someone can’t eat and therapist tells them EAT straight away from the first session or I’m not working with you.
I’m not a baby because I can’t do it, just like someone with anorexia is not a baby because they can’t eat.
Unfortunately inpatient is not a choice. I have two pets to take care of and even though I really struggle taking care of them, I need to stay home for them.
