Regina Chapman
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Oooh, feelings! ktfran and The Guy, sitting in a tree…
Too early? 🙂Seriously, congrats! Meeting the family is huge.
@TheLadyE, yeah, you did dodge a bullet. But it also sounds like you got it together now, and are looking things in the eye and owning them. I think that’s a fantastic thing to get/keep you on the path of self-discovery and self-love.Date away for a while. Have fun. Run with the wind at your back. These processes have a way of being their own reward, even if they’re not always fun to go through. So take a deep breath, relax and enjoy that reward:). *hugs*
Ugh, I can’t even…
Trying to form a complete sentence, but it’s…THELADYE, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU.
He’s an asshat, bringing all this drama to your doorstep and letting YOU carry it inside (!!) and then once it’s in, he bails and goes ‘Okay, well, good luck with that steaming pile of shit!’ It’s cowardly, is what it is. He is a coward.
You need to find a way to keep the front door firmly closed to this bullshit and only let in the people who care for YOU and aren’t looking for an emotional dumping ground.
And really, therapy can help you with unapologetically closing the door on people who are bad news for you. I should know, because four years ago I didn’t even know I HAD a door, let alone that it was in my power to sense who I didn’t want to let in, and to close it at will! You can absolutely do this, but I agree with the others – you have some work to do to get there.
First, hugs, though. All the hugs and good vibes. <3
I have to say, ver, in spite of that last post about him not knowing where this is going and all that, it does sound like he is very good to you:).
And additionally, I think Kate and other Wise Ones were saying – men who only text after 12am are generally pervs. Or words of similar meaning, yet more eloquently put.
:p
Oooh, thanks! That’s a good one, I’ll bring that up!
I just had an honest convo with him about it and he said he was actually open to the idea of the vibrator, but nervous about hurting me. He said I mistook his awkwardness for dislike and should give him a bit more leeway. Which, honestly, he miiiight be right about – control freaks raise your hands:) – so we’re going to give that another go, too!
Thanks guys, you are awesome.
Back to the dating. 🙂
Oooh, have fun, TheLadyE!
Also, not dating but relationship related and perhaps TMI:
Since I’ve gone on anti-depressants everything in my life has gotten better…except my love life. I have a much lower libido now and when we have sex I have a hard time finishing. I’ve been with my bf for fourteen years, we’ve always maintained a healthy and active love life and are still very much attracted to each other. But now the dynamic is just different. So I bought a new toy, thinking maybe that extra stimulation would help. Well, we tried it yesterday, but he was so lacklustre about using it! He tried to be game, but I could tell he wasn’t into it and…meh, I felt so frustrated.
Sorry, I just had to whine a little. 🙁
HURRAY, HURRAY FOR VER/TT FUN SEXY TIMES!!
I’m very happy for you too, TheladyEand ktfran! 🙂
And Kare, jeez, what an asshole. How do you not get that forcing someone into something intimate, even if it’s not penetration, is terrible?? How would he feel if a girl rimmed him without asking, and he couldn’t make her stop? Grr, that frustrates me on your behalf. Sorry you went through that.
Emsz, care to elaborate on the ‘ugh’?…KISSING AND MAKING OUT SHOULD NOT BE UGH! Bottom line. 🙂
And TheLadyE, I’m so happy for you! Sounds like an awesome date!
Oh, okay, I missed that they’d already talked about it. Yeah, that’s kind of withholding it, then.
Or at least, avoiding the issue and pretending it’s never been discussed.
Are you sure there has been a direct conversation like the one I suggested above, though? If so, yes, he’s not being a very stand-up person about this.
His actions are definitely weird, but so are hers (for a woman who WANTS to have intimacy/kissing etc). Who knows if he’s having this exact conversation with his friends right now? Why would the pressure be solely on him to make a move? From what I’m reading, they’re both giving each other hugs, etc.
I’d just want to know what’s going on with someone, from the original source, before I’d call them ‘seriously messed up’. For the rest, totally agree with you.
On an unrelated note: veritek, that’s GREAT news! So what he actually meant was ‘I’m super busy for the next four weeks, so I’ll come down and visit you the first weekend I can’? 🙂 Put like that, yeah, that sounds much better.
And KARE! 40?!? How do you even keep count?? I could always, eh…climax easily – before anti-depressants, le sigh – but I don’t think I’ve ever gone over, maybe, 20 times? And that was over a whole day, while I was by myself and very, very bored:).
I just asked my bf, and we think that our record for amount of romps in 24 hours is about 3 or 4. So…I guess you and veritek beat me on all fronts!
I don’t know that I’d necessarily be calling him an abuser, or concluding that there has to be something seriously messed up with him without having talked to him about it, but…WHY HAVEN’T YOU TALKED TO HIM ABOUT IT??
If it would have been me, after a few flirty ‘butterfly moments’ – whenever they would have started to occur – had passed without anything happening, I’d have sat him down and just laid it out. Like, ‘I’m attracted to you. I get the sense you’re attracted to me, too, but you also seem to avoid touching me. What’s up with that? It’s okay if it takes you a while, but I do want to know if it’s on the table, because I really want to find someone I click with on a physical level, too’.
