sararosie43
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@Ale, my relationship ended mostly because of communication issues. He has some severe anxiety issues that i never realized were as bad as they are. Coupled with immaturity and an inability to communicate his feelings we were on a bad track toward break up town. I never truly realized how he felt about any of it until it was ended rather dramatically.
Ultimately in my heart of hearts i knew he wasn’t the man for me, i just didnt want to give up on what i “thought” could be a good thing. But marriage is about a lot more than that, and i know that not being with him is for the best.
One of things i am talking to my therapist about a lot is listening to my gut more and learning to trust my own intuition. I have a great intuition and when i dont listen to it i get myself in trouble. I think i need to work on trusting myself more and when i feel something isnt right, doing something about it.
Again this is all from my perspective, but if your gut is telling you something is off i think its important to explore what that may be about.
Yea, i have recently decided to take a little dating hiatus. The state of things out there was really getting me down and I realized it was impacting how i felt about myself. Even though i know these people have no real impact on my life, i didnt feel like i was handling the rejection like i could, which would be to realize its not really about me.
I think part of it is my bad breakup was only 4 months ago, so i think dating helped me with a little bit of a fun distraction for a while. But it had gotten to a point where these fuck boys behaviors were really bothering me and i just had to tap out for now.
@Copa – i feel like what you said is exactly how i feel too. I also feel sad because i was in a 2 year relationship that i think i may have gotten into because i was ready for a relationship, not because we were well suited. Its hard watching so many friends starting their families while i am still hoping to find a good guy at some point in the future.
it is right!? i think i was more bummed because i was having a good week with positive dating thoughts. Not feeling stressed about hearing from people or setting dates up and trying to just be proactive when setting up plans with people. So this kind shook me a little when i was trying to just let things play out and not stress over any of it.
Oh well… on the topic of holiday weekend plans i can completely understand the feeling wanting to have things to do. I tend to get anxious about not having plans and with a long weekend i really wanted to plan something, especially since i would spend weekends down the shore with my ex last summer. My friend invited me down to DC which i am very excited about and she is so much fun, but i just found out she is back with her ex that hurt her pretty badly. So lots to talk about with that.
SO guys…. i totally got ghosted last night after hearing from him Monday night and yesterday morning to confirm/pick a place. We chose the place around 11 then i asked him around noon what time and nothing….I texted again at like 5 but it was pretty clear that he had gone dark. I wasnt upset because whatevs hes a rando, BUT i was pissed because my time is my time! Dont mess with it and be a jerk! It takes one txt to bail on plans, literally no big. It just makes me feel sad about the human race when people are so rude and inconsiderate.
So i ended up just texting him which was the right move. I think he isnt much of a text communicator, or at least this is something ill have to consider if we continue dating. He got back to me and I asked about Friday and he said yes definitely. Soooo yea, we will see how date 2 goes. If anything this shows me i need to not get wrapped up in the details so much, its just not worth the stress! I also have another date set up for next week with another guy, first one i met on Bumble.
I have been primarily using Tinder and i have to say i really like it. There is a mix of people and what they are looking for, but its fairly easy to spot the hook up only ones. Lots of people even put in their profile that they are looking for a FWB only. I feel like with Tinder it cuts right to do you want to meet or not, after only a few messages. Its a lot easier for me to deal with now, but at some point I may go on Match if i feel like it. I think lots of people on Tinder are open to relationships though. My brother and gf met on there and are going on 3 years together.
The date was Saturday night, and yea I kind of thought i would have heard something by last night, or maybe tonight. When we initially started talking and then texting he wouldnt usually respond very quickly. Now that we have met and had a good date I had hoped id hear something by now, even checking in to say hi.
Yea, so we actually set the second date at the end of the first! Its for this Friday which is great. So we both know we are interested but I haven’t heard from him yet to plan the second date. We had talked about a couple ideas but nothing solid. I was thinking i would reach out tomorrow if i haven’t heard anything yet, but not sure if this is a bad sign or just normal when its only been 1 date.
So i have a question, what kind of contact do you guys think is appropriate after a first date? I feel like it varies between these guys that will text a lot vs ones that will not get in touch for days at a time. Sometimes i have a hard time distinguishing between what is normal (aka we have had one date so prob may not be communicating a ton) or what is potentially a red flag?
Hey guys! I had a wonderful first date on Saturday. I am doing my best to calm myself down because we had such a great time together and really clicked. I have been seeing another guy for about 6 weeks and although we have fun i haven’t really felt any relationship potential. So he has been more like a fun post-breakup rebound.
I am trying to temper my expectations because it was just a great date, but we definitely had chemistry in a way I have not experienced in quite a long time. SO exciting stuff!
