DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@kmtthat With those apps, I won’t swipe right on anyone who doesn’t at least have a brief description of himself – like, just a picture and location won’t do it. I have to know SOMETHING about you. Also I don’t swipe right on anyone who says just looking for something casual or FWB because I’m looking for a relationship. And of course I have to think he’s at least somewhat attractive and from what he says we might have some similar interests.
Then again obviously I don’t know WTF I’m doing with dating because I just got dumped by someone who would have been wildly compatible with me in almost every way after only 3 hours-long dates so take that with a grain of salt. *sigh*
Agree, I think tons of texting after one date, especially if there isn’t a second set up, is weird and probably something that a person is doing because they are lonely or don’t have enough hobbies. A few one off texts to say you had a good time or to set something up don’t seem too much to expect, to me.
Yea, so we actually set the second date at the end of the first! Its for this Friday which is great. So we both know we are interested but I haven’t heard from him yet to plan the second date. We had talked about a couple ideas but nothing solid. I was thinking i would reach out tomorrow if i haven’t heard anything yet, but not sure if this is a bad sign or just normal when its only been 1 date.
Oh, gotcha, ugh, I hate that situation. It’s not a great sign if you haven’t heard from him since your last date… When was that? If you don’t hear from him today you could reach out and be like, hey, we still on for Friday? Maybe he’s not a big planner, or maybe he was just kind of blowing smoke.
The date was Saturday night, and yea I kind of thought i would have heard something by last night, or maybe tonight. When we initially started talking and then texting he wouldnt usually respond very quickly. Now that we have met and had a good date I had hoped id hear something by now, even checking in to say hi.
I’m going to go against the grain and say that, though I go out of my way to be nice and thankful to people, in the world of dating, I tried something new after a friend told me to “let them come to you.” I would usually have texted after to say thank you, etc. for the date, but then I just didn’t do anything. Even if I LOVED the guy, I would let him be the one to initiate the contact again. My thinking was that anyone can say anything on a first date and that if they really wanted to, then they would do the initiating conversation again. I think dating is great,but I think holding cards a bit closer to your chest at first would maybe prevent some of the second guessing 🙁
@TheLadyE didn’t you say that he was recently divorced? I’m sorry things didn’t work out, but don’t be so hard on yourself 🙁Hmm sararosie. I’m not sure what I would do. It might not hurt to send a hello text, but at this point, I’d kind of think he wasn’t interested.
I think if you don’t send at least that obligatory thank you text, guys are going to assume you’re not interested.
@sararosie I don’t think it would hurt to reach out but I wouldn’t hold your breath for the date. Either he’s got a lot going on or he’s maybe not as interested as he thought he was? I don’t know I’m trying to figure out the timeline and if you were supposed to do something this weekend I would be anxious too if I hadn’t heard anything from him.
I’m a fan of the thank your text if I’m interested, but I’ve found that some guys are quick to send one themselves when they are interested too.
I think we give our romantic interests too much slack…”oh they’re too busy,” or “I need to let him know this…right now!” I think they will get in touch no matter what if they are interested. You can always thank them after the second date, when/if it happens! First date there’s just too much in the air. As old-fashioned as this sounds, playing hard to get (but not like manipulatively) in the the beginning really does work!
Honestly, the thing is sometimes it seems like we’re just waiting around for guys to ask us out. We should be living full lives – seeing our friends, doing what we need to do. You shouldn’t rush into getting to know someone. It may seem like you are certain someone will react a certain way and then something completely different happens. Guys will do anything, if they are interested in dating you! They can’t see you for two weeks because you’re on a work trip? They will wait! Stop giving people you really don’t know that well the benefit of the doubt until they deserve it.
