Skyblossom
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In a romantic relationship your partner needs to be the primary relationship in your life. In this situation the dog appears to be the primary partner with the girlfriend coming in second. When push came to shove and he was choosing between the dog or the girlfriend he chose the dog.
Maybe he does need the pressure of the dog against him to sleep. That wouldn’t be surprising since he also wants the girlfriend to cuddle all night and to have the dog on the other side. That’s a sensory issue. The fact that she can’t sleep that way could definitely mean that they aren’t compatible unless they want to sleep in separate rooms. This is part of the benefit of living together. You get a better idea of whether you are compatible before committing to marriage.
It’s easy to say she should have known she needed to discuss the dog before moving in together. If she looked up moving in together online and saw the issues that needed to be discussed the issue of where his dog sleeps wouldn’t have been listed. They could have discussed all sorts of things and completely missed this issue. Until she was trying to sleep this way all of the time she wouldn’t have known just how exhausted she would be. Until they slept this way together all the time he wouldn’t know that it wouldn’t work for her. They both made assumptions.
When two people live together they have to find a solution that works for both. Anything less destroys the relationship.
I’d move out. His refusal to find a compromise that works for both of you isn’t good. Yes, you knew he slept with the dog when you moved in together. At the same time partners have to have a degree of flexibility. You can’t maintain everything in exactly the way you have always done them when you are in a relationship. If something doesn’t work for one partner it doesn’t work for the relationship and if one partner is unhappy then the relationship is unhappy. What else will be a problem because he can’t be flexible? Why be so unwilling to try various solutions? I’d personally be afraid to remain in a relationship with someone who is this inflexible. Life throws changes at you and if you can’t handle them you can’t handle life. This is a very basic relationship test and he’s failing it.
I wouldn’t try to change him. I’d move out and seriously consider moving on unless you want to continue a long term relationship with two homes. That will work until you have children and it sounds like you do want children. If you live in two homes with children you will have all of the child care. I’d personally find somebody who cares enough to want me to be able to sleep. I’d want someone who could say that they had hoped the sleeping situation would work the way they liked it but if it didn’t then they would try something else.
People will do this kind of thing for all sorts of reasons. They might want to use some connection you have. They might be friends so that they can get you to drive them around or lend them your vacation home or so your parent will write a letter of recommendation or because you have money and they hope some of it comes their way.
I’m with Kate on this. The signs were there but when you are young you probably miss them. Now she knows some of the warning signs of someone who is more of a fake friend, real opportunist.
“my dad thinks we are a couple. he even suggested I try to make moves on you even though you are in a relationship.”
If his dad thought you were a couple he wouldn’t need to suggest he make moves on you. I think the whole dad thing was a lie. Your ex friend was putting out feelers trying to test the waters to see if you were interested in him in a romantic way. The same for the moms all wanting their daughters to date him. He was hoping you would respond in a way that said you wished you could be with him or say that if you weren’t with your boyfriend you’d definitely want to date him. He was also telling you how great he is which isn’t good. Be wary of any guy who brags about himself, which is what that was and be wary of any guy who is suggesting you should cheat on your boyfriend with them which he was also suggesting. Saying it was his dad’s idea was a way to present the option without actually admitting he would be interested in having you cheat on your boyfriend with him.
If something like this comes up with a guy in the future I’d shut it down immediately. Tell them you don’t see them that way.
@Ange I’m glad you’re fine.
Most of the towns in the county where I live were built on the tops of hills. We have long glacial hills so a new town would fit on a hilltop. I’ve always assumed it was to avoid flooding and maybe mosquitoes. I’ve reached a point where I don’t think I would want to live at the bottom of a hill beside a creek.
Dear Wendy probably hits number one for advice forum because you have the Forums!!!
What if you called them the relationship advice forums? That might be clunky but I wonder if it would drive search engines?
IF you want to babysit you need to use language that parents feel is appropriate around kids. Some parents are very relaxed and some are very strict about things like language. If it couldn’t be shown in a PG movie don’t use it online if you want parents to hire you. Something that is fully appropriate around your friends won’t be appropriate around kids young enough to need a babysitter. Parents want to hire someone who is mature. They want someone they know they can trust. They need to know you are responsible. They need to know you will watch the kids all of the time. They want to know that they won’t come home and find their kid cursing because you were cursing.
Thanks for sharing your background. That’s helps a lot in our being able to give advice.
I’m sorry that people picked on you here. When you added on to your story that made it sound fake and made people assume you were lying about who you were and why you were posting. People who tell lies tend to lie about pretty much everything. Because of the lies in the story you weren’t credible so people doubted everything.
It’s a good thing to step in when you see that someone needs help. Now that you are sixteen you would probably handle the situation in a different way than you did when you were eight. You did the best you could and you stopped a bully. That was good. If you had stuck to the real story it would have been much better received.
We all hope that you didn’t help her just because she was a girl or just because she was pretty. We hope that you help any person who needs help. I personally helped an elderly man last week with a flat tire. I think that you are a good person and would help the elderly man too. You’ve got a good heart.
Just tell things as they are and as they really happened in the future and you will get a much better response.
Most fiction writers base at least some of their characters on real people but change them some and part of their stories will have some kernels of real events that are then added to for the story.
When you start embellishing you go from nonfiction to fiction. Just because it was somewhat based on a true event doesn’t mean that the final work wasn’t fiction. It was. It was too exaggerated and so the story sounded fake but as if you expected them to believe it was real. When you are assigned to write something that happened don’t turn it into a piece of fiction.
The thing about homeroom is that there is no subject. It isn’t a class. It is just the first room of the day and it is used for announcements and figuring out who isn’t in school that day and giving out a handout if there is one. Then the bell rings again and the kids move on to the first class of the day.
