Skyblossom
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He has every right to be interested and she has every right to not reciprocate. I’m 53 and I’m sure I wouldn’t be interested in a man who was 84.
I’d run from a relationship where someone was melting down over something less than a major occurrence like the death of a family member, cancer diagnosis, etc. Life has enough major stresses that I would bolt from someone who can’t handle even minor stresses. Other people might see it differently. If someone needs to be coddled through the minor things in life I just am not up to it. Someone else might be and that’s fine. That’s part of dating, figuring out what you can and can’t handle.
There are lots of options. Many women around here get to gather to knit or crochet. A local yarn shop is willing to host them. You could do that for any hobby. You could go to pottery together or get a group that goes to yoga together. A local yoga group meets for yoga and then walks the two doors down to a coffee shop and spend a few hours together after yoga. Book clubs are very popular. If you didn’t want to host one you could look into starting one that meets at your local library. If you like writing you could start a critique group. If you like to visit museums start a group that visits local and regional museums. I live near a town of 5,000 and there are over 50 meet up groups in our area. That doesn’t include any of the groups mentioned above. I think if you looked you could find something that you like and if there is nothing you could definitely start it. What do you find fun? Think about how you would want a group to function. How often would it meet? How big would you like it to be? Would it be more of a single focus group or more of a single women’s group that does a variety of activities?
I think we’re all designed to want some companionship. I think what you are saying is that you are fine living alone but sometimes you are lonely. Would spending more time with friends fill the gap? I know friends aren’t the same as cuddling on the couch but they can be fun and great to talk to and people to share your life with and that is a part of what a partner does.
It sounds like you have unmet emotional needs. If you could identify those needs maybe you could find ways outside a romantic relationship to meet most of them. This book could help you pinpoint your emotional needs even though it is geared towards men and women in a relationship.
Knowing your most important emotional needs could also help to weed out men that you can see won’t be able to meet those needs. I don’t think you need to be in a relationship to benefit from realizing what needs you have. If you have a need for recreational companionship you could find a group of friends to go and do things with. If you pinpointed conversation you could meet friends for lunch or dinner or coffee and sit and talk.
The book also covers love busters. If you realize the things that will never work in your personal relationship you can skip guys with those behaviors.
I think identifying your own personal emotional needs and your love busters is an empowering thing.
@Kare I have never understood how someone could suggest or try to tell someone else that they should have kids. Kids are such a massive, long term commitment and so much work that I can’t understand how anyone would wish that on someone who doesn’t want it or isn’t ready for it. People who know they don’t want kids or know that they aren’t ready for kids and manage to avoid accidental pregnancies and unwanted children should be applauded. You’re doing a lot right if you know you don’t want children at this time and you don’t have them. Yay for you!!!
@Stonegypsy Why not be direct. Text…This isn’t working for me. I’m done. Then block his number.
I know quite a few families with whiteboards and they got them for the kids. It is a great way to leave messages where they will be found. It establishes the place to look for the information you need to know. To assume that the white board is there for the wife instead of for the child seems presumptuous. It probably was put up for the child which is why the child uses it. We have one for each of our kids. My son uses his very little but still works math problems on it occasionally. We use our daughters when helping her with math problem for homework. When she was 10 she drew on her whiteboard and so did her friends. That’s the whole point of a whiteboard.
I’ve learned what it’s like to date today as compared to when I was in the dating scene 25 to 30 years ago which helps me to understand my 20-year-old son much better. The talk about HPV, which hasn’t been recent, helped me to know that when I’m asked later this year whether I want my daughter vaccinated for HPV I’ll definitely be saying yes. Thanks for all those candid comments about your lives and the issues you deal with.
