Stonegypsy
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Thanks, everyone. I know that’s just the way it goes. I guess part of it is that I’m just feeling down because partner is having awesome NRE with the girl he’s been seeing for a few months and I’m in this dating slump getting blown off left and right 😛
And he and I also realized that we want different types of poly relationship long term and so I’m wanting to find someone who is actually looking for a primary partner to build a life with and trying to create the emotional space to meet that person but it’s just feeling like I’m never going to (I know that’s ridiculous and I’m still young and there’s lots of people out there and I’ll find someone eventually).
Yeah, he said his water heater went out and took the AC with it (I don’t know a lot about that sort of thing. Does that make any sense at all?). I said okay and asked if he wanted to get together Saturday afternoon if he was free. No response yet. Not going to reach out again and I’ll probably delete the text thread at the end of today if he doesn’t reply.
I’m just feeling discouraged at the moment and feeling a little bit sorry for myself because all of my dates have either been really ‘meh’ or crazy or flaked out entirely.
Yeah…. But he was really really cute.
@Kicia I have okcupid and Tinder. Okcupid is where I met my partner, and he met his other partner on Tinder. I haven’t ever tried match.com or any of the paid sites.
I have talked to some really cute guys on Tinder, but nothing has panned out so far. I was supposed to have a date last night with a guy I was pretty excited about, but he cancelled last minute (saying he might need a rain check) and did not propose any alternate days we could get together, which bums me out. However, I am meeting up with another guy on Sunday for a picnic dinner, so that should be fun.
Still, every time someone flakes out on me I get more discouraged and just want to give up entirely and go live in a cave.
No, haven’t met yet. And I don’t even really like getting into the really dull “Hey, how are you. fine, you, ” etc conversations before meeting, but I also don’t want to give the impression that I’m not interested.
@Kare That’s so cool. But yeah, if that’s not something you’re into, and you are certain it’s him, probably best to just cancel.
Asking for input: My date for Thursday, we exchanged numbers and solidified plans, chatted a little bit. I haven’t talked to him in a couple of days at all. Should I send a “Hey how’s your week?” kind of message, or just keep quiet until we meet in person?
@Loo it does seem a lot easier than okcupid. Plus it really helps me be more excited about talking to people when I only match with the ones I actually find attractive.
@Kare for the record, I think a lot of people just don’t like to spend a ton of time chatting with someone who ultimately they may not have chemistry with. I know I also have a hard time continuing to keep up conversations online with strangers, so I’ve just started asking them pretty quickly if they’d like to get together in person “To verify that neither of us is the ‘back away slowly’ brand of crazy?” rather than letting the conversation fade into daily boring greetings or silence.
@Loo that sounds amazing! And gives me hope about my upcoming tinder adventures (I only just joined last week because I haven’t had much luck with okcupid)
I agree that you’re dating @ktfran. I mean, 5 dates in, sexytimes are happening, and there’s clear interest on both sides. But it’s never exclusive until there’s something of a conversation confirming it. Just assuming that kind of thing is a recipe for disaster.
Yay for dates continuing to be awesome @ktfran!
I had two super ‘meh’ dates over the weekend. The first guy we just didn’t seem to have anything in common really, and then he started talking about how if women feel unwelcome in the video game community, they should just stop playing, and I was just done.
The second guy was okay, but I didn’t find him particularly attractive and we also just didn’t seem to have much to talk about.
I have been chatting with a guy on Tinder who I am meeting up with on Thursday for a drink. That one I actually am excited about. The conversation online has been really easy and natural, and if his pictures are accurate, he is really really attractive (and he sent me a picture taken after the mud run he did yesterday and my jaw actually dropped). Another guy is taking me for a picnic next Sunday, and I’m pretty excited about that one too. I think I’m going to wait until after those are done before I make any other first dates.@Veritek 2 hours can be kind of a pain when you’re getting to know someone, but it’s not something that can’t be overcome if there’s interest and chemistry enough to make it worth it. Hope it goes well!
@Veritek That’s really lame. Sorry your date was a dud. I’d definitely start pulling back and focusing energy elsewhere. You’ll find someone both awesome *and* excited about you!
In the meantime, man dating sucks sometimes.
@Moneypenny What? That’s kind of ridiculous. “Not willing to walk around a city barefoot for a day” seems like a bizarre dealbreaker.
I’m really disappointed about the guy who stood me up. Like, I’m still not sure what happened. We had plans, he was supposed to text me when he was done with his other thing, and then he just never did. I was disappointed. Our conversations had been enjoyable up to that point.
