Stonegypsy
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@MissDre – that sounds exactly like how I felt about my current partner after our first date. He seemed nice, but he was quiet and hard to read, and I just didn’t feel much of a spark.
And then the next time we saw each other was for something a little more relaxed and there were so many sparks I’m surprised my house didn’t catch fire.
So it’s always worth another shot 🙂
I’ve pretty much stopped dating entirely for the last few months (and for the foreseeable future; I just have zero interest in it right now), just enjoying increasingly awesome relationship with J, lots of alone time, and friend stuff. Last weekend my ex and I celebrated the first anniversary we’ve had where we were officially divorced. We went to brunch.
I’m lurking and still enjoying reading about everyone else’s exploits 🙂
@hfantods That is the really sucky part about dating, but I’ve been there, and so has everyone else here, and so has that guy (I’m willing to bet). You can just let him know that you had fun hanging out, but you’re just not feeling it, and best of luck. Not feeling a spark isn’t shallow or fantastical.
5 people?! That sounds enormously exhausting.
I started trying to date again, for like a week, and got tired of it immediately and stopped after 4 first dates.
Also, I think those preferences for FWB are entirely reasonable. Obviously it’s gonna narrow that pool of options quite a bit, but so do *all* preferences of any kind.
I’m pretty much just focusing on J and alone time these days. I’ve been painting a lot. And packing, because I’m getting ready to move in a couple of weeks
@Cleo I’ll chime in here and say that even in a non-monogamous situation, it’s just inconsiderate and rude to flirt with someone else when you’re out with someone you’re sleeping with (even someone you used to sleep with, I think – I tend not to flirt when I’m out with my ex)
@ktfran That’s wonderful! I’m glad things are continuing to go so well 🙂@Veritek 1) Crossfit prom sounds amazing. I did not appreciate dances enough when I was in highschool. 2) yay for second date! What’s the restaurant?
So… over the weekend J asked me if I want to move in together. When he and I talked about what we were looking for longterm a little over a year ago he told me that he was probably never going to want the kind of relationship that I was looking for (live-in life partner kind of relationship), and it took awhile to accept it, but I did and we moved on and managed to develop realistic expectations of each other. But he’s feeling differently about it now, and I’m really excited. If this were a year ago, or even six months ago, I would be a lot more wary, but things have been really really good for the past several months and I think it’s going to be good. Feeling very “fuck yes” about the decision. We’re not going to do so immediately (I want to make sure the improvement is consistent and not temporary), but… I’m really happy!
Just wanted to gush. /squee/
And I’ve been lurking/keeping up with everyone’s updates, but haven’t had time to comment on all of them! So just know that if you’re on this thread: If you’re frustrated with things, I’m actively hoping things get better for you, and if you’re happy I’m super happy for you.
@ktfran No, no contact from the napkin guy. But I started feeling more ready to date, so I signed up for Tinder again.
I have had some great conversations, and have dates lined up for the next week, which will be exhausting, but I’m excited to meet all of them.
So I went out to lunch with a friend today, and there was a really really cute guy at the restaurant (striking resemblance to Kit Harrington) so I gave him my number on a napkin. Now I’m all shaky and nervous. Approaching actual people is nerve wracking!
I want so much to get in on this party, it sounds amazing! Too bad I’m roughly 1000 miles away
Honestly I’d say I tend to behave the same way – If I’m interested, I will initiate conversation and texting. If not, I will probably be silent unless they text me first, not be super text talkative, and be secretly hoping they ghost me first so I don’t have to say “Actually, let’s not get together Friday after all. Sorry, I’m just not feeling it – best of luck!”
@sararosie that is so lame! I don’t understand why someone would do that instead of just sending a message and saying “You know, actually I just don’t feel excited enough about this, and I’d like to cancel. Sorry, best of luck”
I was supposed to see Clark Kent again on Friday but was feeling anti-social and flaked. Apologized to him and let him know I’d hit him up when I felt more stable on the off chance he was still available and interested at that point.
I’ve been spending a whole bunch of time alone, and hanging out with my roommate, and with B, my best friend. Super excited to have a long weekend coming up and nothing much to do. On Sunday B and I are going to ride over to the neighborhood I’m going to be moving to in September and checking out some of the various places to eat and drink. There’s a driving range over there that I want to check out too.J and his other partner broke up last night. I have really mixed feelings about it because I’m really sad for him and I know he feels terrible and really cares about her, but she and I never got along very well and I didn’t like her and so I’m not sad that I will not have to deal with her anymore.
