Stonegypsy
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@Nookie yeah… I’m not actually sad (or surprised) that that particular ex is dead. I mean, it’s definitely tragic. He was really angry and self-destructive. He was also abusive, and there was one night that he would have actually murdered me if he hadn’t passed out before I got home (he did still kick me into a wall the next morning. That was fun).
What a weird thing for your ex to do. “Hey, haven’t talked in awhile. Just so you know, all that stuff you believed was definitely not true. Anyway. Good catching up!”
@Nookie That sounds like it’s going to be a great trip! I’ll cross my fingers that the weather doesn’t end up being too crap.
There are so many places I want to go and I don’t even know where to start. I want to try to visit San Diego in July for W00tStock but I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to manage that.
I have the same experience with my exes. I’d be happy to talk to any of them, except one. The friend I went out with last night is actually my other major ex (we were together/living with each other for four years). The only one that I wouldn’t have wanted to speak to ever again is actually dead :-\
So… I’m really excited. My ex(almost) husband and I, after nearly two years of being separated, are finally going to file the divorce paperwork next week. Neither of us have been in any particular rush to get it done, because there just wasn’t any reason to be. But it’ll be nice to finally have it taken care of. By the time it becomes official we will have been separated for longer than we were married.
We’re getting everything notarized tomorrow or Thursday and then I’ve requested a half day from work next Friday. We’re going to file the paperwork and then get celebratory drinks/dinner.
I’m really happy with what we’ve been able to turn our relationship into since we realized the romantic part didn’t work for us.
In other news, I went out with my friend last night and stayed up way too late and drank a lot of whiskey, and I somehow feel amazing today.
@Kare I totally understand that hesitancy. I eventually had to break down and get the meds because I was getting such crippling anxiety that I was heading toward losing my job.
I also just don’t like having things around that would make it easy for me to kill myself. It’s not that feeling suicidal is a common thing for me, but I’ve been in that place enough times that I don’t want to have any easy options.
Which is why I have a mini crossbow instead of a gun.
@Kare my brother is a recovering alcoholic (also a veteran), so I definitely understand that. My dad also, for years, had a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol, and really didn’t stop fully until I was 15 or so. And my grandpa, who was a severe, angry alcoholic until the day he died.
And while I don’t think I’ve ever had a serious problem, I’ve definitely seen myself falling into patterns where I was using it as a coping mechanism to some extent, and really hate it. So it’s been good to cut back as much as I have.
@ktfran Yeah, that viewpoint was probably one of the most helpful things I got out of therapy. I had been talking about my approach to relationships and she really cheerfully responded “Wow! It sounds like you’re doing a great job of protecting yourself from getting hurt. How’s that going?”
It was the sort of gentle slap in the face I needed.
@Kare Yeah I actually had gotten back in touch with a guy that I was seeing for a little while last year, cause I remembered that he had just been wanting something casual. So we met up for drinks, slept together, was a good time. Then he started trying to plan a whole bunch of dates with me and it became clear that he wants an actual relationship.
The problem is I have an insane libido, but I’m really antisocial a lot of the time.
And yes! Quitting smoking. Not easy. I’ve actually been on smoking cessation meds that have been *amazing*. Haven’t just quit smoking, have also cut back drinking and I think it’s cured the low-grade depression I didn’t know I had.
@kmtthat Oh man do I understand the terrifying nature of being ridiculously excited about someone really really quickly. What I’ve decided is that the worst thing that can happen is that I’ll get my heart broken, and I know I can survive that. Completely worth the risk.
Things with The Physicist are still warm and fuzzy also, though continue to be somewhat complicated due to a situation in his other relationship. We haven’t gotten to see each other too much in the last month because he’s super busy/stressed out with school, but we’ve been finding as much time together as we can. And occasionally more than we should, given how much else he has to do. On Saturday he gave me a math lesson, we went to a movie at my friend’s house, and then went out and had a super nice dinner and a whole bunch of wine to celebrate that I haven’t had a cigarette in a month and a half.
J and I have taken some very large steps back from each other, and it’s been really good for both of us. I know there’s a good relationship in there if we can just figure out our expectations of each other.
So no real dating stories. I’m kind of wanting to find a FWB because while I love the alone time I am getting not seeing either of my partners very often, I would really like to be having more sex; once or twice a week is not really doing it. However, even a fwb would be a kind of relationship and I don’t know that I have the energy for another one.
I think a gray suit would look fantastic next to a red/white dress
I’m throwing my vote in for the Vince Camutos. Those are super cute
“I’m so sorry for my [completely batshit] actions, you didn’t deserve that [totally crazypants tirade I went on at you], I treated you like shit [and probably will again if you let me because I am absolutely crazy], crazy crazy crazy”
Fixed it!
@Shakeourtree I will speak as someone with an aversion to crowds – it certainly limits (to some extent) the activities I can take part in with my partners. Once in a great while, one of them will convince me to do something that means being in a big crowd of people, and I am usually anxious and uncomfortable the entire time. For the most part, I try to date people for whom that’s not important, because otherwise I imagine it would cause a lot of grief (them feeling bad that I don’t want to go to comicon/music festival/beer festival whatever with them, and me feeling bad either going to feeling bad for not going).
You’re not being unreasonable, but neither is he. You just have to figure out how important it is to you that your partner join you for that kind of activity.
“We’ve been on two dates already! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE MEEEEEE?!”
