veritek33
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Sooooo I may have found a way out of our contract with the venue. Apparently my husband and I brought back a souvenir from vacation that we get to meet in early May if everything goes well.
If you know me in real life please don’t say anything. But I’m fairly certain a doctor’s note could at least get us out of a contract for health reasons/acts of God.
If nothing else, here’s teeny tiny bit of happy news I can share anonymously with people I’ve never met in hopes it cheers you up just a smidge. <3
Wendy I agree. I happen to work in a city/county that has a mask mandate and takes everything very seriously, but the city we live in is like a whole different country. No masks, everything open, no one seems to give a shit and acts like nothing is different.
It’s going to get worse before it gets better.
Wendy you’re allowed to think that was irresponsible, but please also remember, you live in a state that took this much more serious than mine did. Clearly. You are in the epicenter. In March my state actually had very few cases so it just didn’t feel as real here, and perhaps I was far too naïve.
And we were all sort of led to believe that Missouri wasn’t going to be hit as hard. So when given the opportunity to try and salvage something of our wedding after having it cancelled less than a week before the day – we jumped at it. Maybe that was irresponsible, but we were going with the best information we had at the time and with good faith that things would be better. We were devastated and trying to find a silver lining and something to look forward to. How was I to know in March 2020 that it wouldn’t be better by fall or by spring 2021? I didn’t have a crystal ball and I hoped everyone would be taking it seriously and doing what needed to be done. I don’t think anyone knew, unfortunately. I still don’t think we know how long it will last.
I should have never mentioned it, because quite frankly I’m hoping they shut the state down but it feels wrong to hope it gets worse so that the Governor will finally do his job.
@MG the event venue owner has told me explicitly that unless the state or county shuts down or limits events, she expects the full payment the day of the scheduled event. She says they have to make money too.
Maybe I’m being a bit defensive – but please don’t think I’m stupid. We made the choice for a fall reception in March of this year, six days after our cancelled wedding, thinking things would be better. As the year has gone on, we realize that’s not the case. If we are forced to pay the amount and choose NOT hold the reception – we don’t have the money to pay for it all over again. We simply don’t.
I don’t’ want anyone to get sick, I don’t want to put people at risk. That’s why we chose an outdoor venue thinking that even if things were better in the fall people might not feel comfortable at an indoor venue. Clearly we were too optimistic. At this point I feel like I have to pretend it’s happening but also hope the state shuts down so that I don’t have to hold the event.
I have asked more than once to postpone until March of next year and I have been told a flat no. I’m sorry. I’m not irresponsible. I’m just dealing with the hand we’ve been dealt and I don’t know what else to do.
Okay here’s the deal so we can all calm down.
I asked if I can cancel and I was told no. We made the decision to hold the reception less than a week after the original cancelled wedding and put down the money for it.
When I asked over a month ago if I could postpone until next year I was told that unless the state shuts down or restricts events, I have to go through with this event or lose multi thousands of dollars. I cannot afford to just throw that money away. I haven’t planned a damn thing for this event because I don’t have confidence that it’s actually going to happen – but I’m between a rock and hard place here you see?
I don’t feel like I have a lot of choice right now because it’s either throw away thousands of dollars or hire an attorney to try to get out of the contract and lose more money.
I’m not stupid. I know we are in a pandemic. I’m just trying to do the best I can with a real shitty situation here.
@Copa – it sucks your dad is bad with communicating and let you feel that way. The good part is, he really doesn’t know your relationship. Everything you’ve shared here leads me to believe you have done your due diligence and your relationship seems fairly solid so you have to do what you feel is right. Doesn’t mean it can’t hurt and bother you when your family isn’t more supportive.
@Cleo – I am not traveling again for a long time lol. I’m going to quit trying to have honeymoons and weddings because it’s not working out well. Found out yesterday that my matron of honor may not be able to attend the outdoor, 80 person rescheduled reception in late fall because her employer is mandating their students and employees not be in gatherings of more than 20 people. (Which is a smidge hypocritical because she works for a university that is allowing football practices and games right now and the last time I checked football teams and staff have more than 20 people on them.
So, if she can’t attend I’m cancelling the whole thing. The point was to be able to celebrate with our friends and family and we can’t do that, I’m done trying to plan weddings.
@Moneypenny – my condolences to your boss and your work family/
@ktfran – I had 18k in credit card debt at one point and now it’s down to less than 2k and will be paid at the end of the year. I feel like most of us have been at that point in one way or another, nothing to be embarrassed about.Also, off topic, my husband and I took a long delayed honeymoon last week. Trip started off with my dad in the ICU on a ventilator (he’s fine now but dam that was scary – an no he didn’t have Covid) and ended with me pretty much totaling our car on the drive home less than two hours from home (miraculously we had no injuries other than bumps and bruises and burns from the seatbelt). So our family will not be going on any vacations again any time soon. But it was sweet to see how quickly my husband went into protective mode and took care of me. Had I been in that car alone I would have lost it.
@copa and @Moneypenny those are great updates!
Husband of Veritek and I didn’t have to really figure much out, he offered to move to my city and I already owned my home. If we’d been in the same city or both owned homes it might have been more of a discussion but it turned out to be pretty easy.
The fun part has been letting him settle in and make it his own over the last 19 months we’ve lived together. We started looking at houses to buy together but decided to hold off and stay in our home for a few more years until we just can’t stay in it anymore because of space issues (assuming we have a kid or two). It’s so affordable and it was my single woman dream house so we want to get a few more years out of it. Historically houses in my neighborhood have sold very fast as well.
Wendy, we’ve had some teachers come into our offices to have a notary be there as they signed their wills. In Missouri – that keeps breaking records every day.
Never in a million years could we have dreamed this up.
@Fyodor – I dont’ have kids – but our district just announced the different ways they will be operating this year. They will be offering both but one thing I saw and thought was interesting was that if a student/parents opts for distance learning and does not do well, they will be required to do in seat learning for the next quarter or semester I think. Meaning if they are not completing assignments, getting poor grades on everything etc.
I think that’s to make sure that kids are in the correct environment but I can also see parents just saying “well I’ll homeschool them and just pull them from the district” which might work for some kids and be disastrous to others.
I do not envy parents having to make these choices right now.
@courtney89 yup, I’ve considered that she will be their only biological aunt. And I want any future children to have a relationship with her IF she can be a non toxic presence in their life. I have people in my life that fill the role of siblings that will be great “aunts and uncles” to any future children. My parents had a combined 8 siblings and I’m close with maybe one of my aunts. I was closer to my mom’s best friend and was devastated when she died.
