In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I am very close with my family and I have really good girl friends in my new city that I hang out with all the time, so I am happy; I’ve never felt lonely here. But I just went on Facebook the other day and saw photos from the wedding of a girl in my sorority. I wasn’t surprised that I wasn’t invited because she and I were not close, but I was surprised that I hadn’t even heard about it until now as the wedding was in November and all of my close college girl friends were there. I saw the pictures of all of them together and it felt weird. I wasn’t sad that I wasn’t there, but I was more concerned that I didn’t feel sad — like maybe something was abnormal with me that all of them have kept in touch and are still close and I’m not.
Part of the reason that I don’t feel the need to keep in touch with these girls is because of the drama that happened during my junior year. I was president of my sorority that year, and it was the worst time in my life. Nearly all of my sorority sisters turned on me, talked behind my back, and stopped being my friends. I became very depressed, gained a lot of weight, stopped going to class, and isolated myself. During my senior year, I got into therapy and Weight Watchers, and I got my grades back on track. While my friends never apologized for the way they treated me, I decided to forgive them and did have a very fun last semester before graduating in December. But now that college is over, I don’t want to try with these girls anymore.
It’s not just college though – I had stopped keeping in touch with my high school friends by the end of my sophomore year in college, by college I had stopped keeping in touch with my childhood friends after having moved when I was 15, and I was never good at keeping in touch with camp friends after the summer ended. Is that normal? To only be very close with my family and a handful of nearby girl friends and to let past friendships fall away? — Bad At Keeping In Touch