Columns - Dear Wendy

Shortcuts: “Why Does My Ex Still Have Pictures of Me on Facebook?”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to…

“Should I Tell My Colleague I Have a ‘Girl Crush’ on Her?”

Early last year I developed extremely strong feelings (characterized in other ways as a straight girl crush) on a colleague in the same work section as me. The feelings are platonic, not sexual. She is married and I am engaged. When I first became aware that I had feelings for this person, I was really scared. For much of last year I tried to put on an indifferent attitude so that she wouldn’t show me much interest. I think in the process I was very callous/rude, and towards the tail end of last year I could tell that she had given up and, further, had probably confided her frustrations to her group…

“My Boyfriend Gives Gifts to His Ex”

“I have a partner of five years who has two children with two ex-fiancées. Over the years it has, needless to say, been very challenging.”

Morning Quickie: “Should I Tell My Friend Who Just Had a Miscarriage When I Go Into Labor?”

I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I am so excited for my upcoming delivery. However, my best friend just had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. This lady is the nicest person in the world, and my heart breaks for her and her husband. They’ve struggled for years with fertility issues, and they conceived their son (now 4) via IVF. This pregnancy would have been their long-desired second child. She hadn’t announced her pregnancy yet, so, while I suspected she was going through the process again, I didn’t know for certain until the miscarriage. She will have to have the fetus surgically removed, which I’m sure just adds insult to…

Shortcuts: “The Man I Met On Spring Break Pretended Not To Remember Me!”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

Morning Quickie: “My Husband’s Relationship with His Sister Freaks Me Out”

Letter deleted per request of the LW. The gist is that after moving to her new husband’s european country, she was weirded out by the very familiar relationship he had with his sister, whom he shared a bathroom with, walked around naked in front of, kissed on the lips,and suggested having a foursome with. Oh, and the LW was pregnant and due any day.

“My Sister Planned an Anniversary Trip for My Parents Without Including Me”

“After our parents told us they don’t want a 50th anniversary party, but just time together as a family, my sister planned a trip for them with her family, excluding me”

“My Sister’s Fiancé Hates Me”

I’m not crazy about my sister’s fiancé, but he treats her well so I have never been “against” their relationship, and I have made a sincere effort over the years to be friendly with him. Our personalities clash and I don’t believe we will ever be good friends, but, up until now, we have gotten along just fine. They got engaged in April of last year. My sister is in vet school and wants to wait until she is done to get married, so it’s a somewhat long-term engagement. I was single the entire time (two years) they were together (dated some guys, but nothing stuck), and over that time the fiancé…

“Should I Go to My Brother-in-Law’s Wedding?”

I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I met through his brother, “Eric” and his brother’s now ex-wife. I was very close with the ex-wife and it was tragic for everyone when they divorced 2½ years ago. Eric entered into another serious relationship with “Gail” within six months of being separated. Everyone tried very hard to try to get to know Gail, but she gives off the vibe that she is just not interested in forming a relationship with the family. She chooses not to go to most family events and, when she comes, separates herself from the family. For example, she went to the beach for a few days with…

“My Friends’ Kid is a Little Terror!”

My friend’s child lacks manners and it’s driving me nuts. I am talking with my friend at a holiday get-together and the little terror – ‘LT’ for short – wants his daddy’s attention. What little boy doesn’t, right? “Dad!” I’m mid-conversation. “Dad!” We keep talking. “Dad! Dad! Dad!” I stop, wondering if LT might realize that it would be polite if he patiently waited until his father finished the sentence that was still coming out of said father’s mouth. Clap clap clap! “Daddy, I’m talking to you!” Clap clap clap! Trust me, LT, he knows; it would be difficult not to. But that doesn’t stop the father from trying. Clap clap clap….

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