Columns

I am about to turn 35. I’ve always been self-conscious about my appearance because I am a plus-size girl. I have been happily married for 12 years. I have been in love two times in my life — once, with my first love in high school and, second, with my husband. He was with his baby’s mom when I met him. I never pursued anything then but saw him a few years later after they broke ties. We hooked up, and I have been faithful ever since. I never cheated on him. Ever. We have been together for 16 years and married for 12. I absolutely, whole-heartedly love this man. I consider…

My sister-in-law is 20 years old, is a junior in college, and is dating a man 10 years her senior. They have only been together for a year, and she just announced that she is expecting. Though we have only been around him a few times, her boyfriend is non-engaging, gives one word answers to questions, and does not appear very interested in her. My husband is 15 years older than his sister and has been a parental figure in her life. When she announced her pregnancy, he called her boyfriend and asked him to meet so that they could discuss his intentions. He asked for the boyfriend to get back to…

This crisis has been stressing my family for over TWO weeks. I’d like an outsider’s opinion. Here’s the story, names changed, as briefly as I can tell it: Tom and Mary have been dating for almost two years. Tom invited Mary to go on a cruise. Tom asked his mother, Julia, if she would be available to babysit his dog. Julia agreed and then told her daughter, Tom’s sister, Ann, about the cruise. Ann had been planning to give Mom a cruise for Christmas, so booked herself and Mom on the same cruise. When Tom told Mary, Mary was disappointed. Mary had been looking forward to a romantic cruise, and now Mom…

“After several years of being a single (shared-custody) dad, I have remarried to a wonderful woman. Unfortunately, my 10-year-old daughter did not have time to get to know her well before the new wife moved in.”

A few years ago, following a split with my long-term partner, I met a man half my age and we began a relationship that was more friendship and support although we did have sex initially. We have remained very good friends since. On meeting my current partner, we discussed many things about our pasts, this being one of them. I was open and honest about it and said we were now best friends. I introduced them at my current partner’s request. Following the meeting he said he felt there was still something between us. It’s true, we love each other as friends. He said he didn’t think I should see him alone…

Several years ago I met a guy in college. We were good friends for a while but eventually ended up falling out of touch. About a year ago he sent me a message asking how I’d been, and we began to catch up. He’s in the military, so our contact stayed limited to FaceTiming, texting, and Facebook. Five months ago he came home for a few weeks and we went out on some dates. We hit it off wonderfully and decided to give a long-distance relationship a shot. He came home again recently and I don’t think we could have had a better time; it’s become clear that we love each other…

Nearly three years ago, I divorced the man I’d been with for over ten years. The very next night at a party I met what was supposed to simply be a rebound. On our third date, as I was trying to figure how to tell him I was going through a divorce, he dropped a bomb on me: he was going through a divorce as well. Great! Neither of us is emotionally available so no one can get hurt here, right? In typical rebound fashion, things moved very fast, but I’d never met anyone like this guy. Within our four-month relationship, we were together nearly every day, and we saw each other…

“My boyfriend and I have be seeing each other for seven months. When we met, he was still living in his family home but assured me that his marriage was over.”