“My Boyfriend Lets People Believe He’s My Husband… and I Wish He Didn’t”

I have a terrific boyfriend. We move together very smoothly when we’re alone as well as when we’re in large social gatherings, church, political events, film sets, etc. We’re basically together most of the time, and it’s all good. We seem like we’ve been together forever. In reality, it’s been sixteen months. My problem is when people assume then that we’re married. We’re both in our fifties, so maybe that’s why it happens so often. People will ask me something about my “husband,” and he’ll get the “your wife” question. This doesn’t bother him at all; he just continues the conversation as though we’re married. I feel impelled to clarify every time…

In Other Words: “When Should You Mention You’re in an Open Relationship?”

This letter is from a recent Savage Love column and it reminded me of our conversation last week about open relationships. I’m curious what your thoughts are on this issue and what your advice would be to the LW. I am wondering when the best time is to mention being in an open relationship to new girls. I’m a 27-year-old straight guy who’s been in an open relationship for six years. I often seek out extracurricular activities, but I am unsure of how to bring up my situation without doors closing. I wrote to a seduction blogger who often writes about open relationships, and his advice was to not mention it until…

“My Job Is Making Me Miserable”

I’m going through a really rough time at work, and I’m seriously considering finding a new job or just quitting all together. I can’t figure out if it’s just the job that’s so bad, or if the real problem is me and I’d take my same issues with me to a new job. I’m a 27-year-old mechanical engineer, and this is my second job out of college. I dread going into the office for work every day. When I’m away on business trips, which is increasingly becoming half the time, I am often overcome with anxiety and the complete inability to focus. I have endless lists of things that I need to…

“How Can I Tell Friends I Don’t Want Their Kid at My Parties?”

I like kids. But I don’t have kids. I don’t want to have kids. I want to have a lot of fragile things three feet off the ground and uncovered electric outlets and household poisons in my house and not, you know, kids. I am that age (34!) where nearly everybody has kids. I have a lot of parties — big, casual brunches and bbqs and so forth — kids are almost always welcome. My friends “June” and “Mary” have a very sweet three-year-old. He’s polite and cute as a bug and smart as anything. I dig him. And I’m happy to accommodate him and everyone else’s children at parties. I have a basket…

Your Turn: “My Parents Don’t Approve of My Recovering Addict Boyfriend”

Hello Wendy! I came across your website while Googling if it’s normal to feel sick after inhaling helium… just in case you were wondering and have lost your common sense, yes it is! Anyway, I read through some of your columns and decided to share my problem: I’m in love. I’m 20, and I’ve heard the “You’re too young to know what love is!” lines as well as the, “Fuck love, you’ll just get hurt” lines. But I know what I feel and I know this is real. You see, I love this amazing, wonderful, smart, down-to-earth guy. I look at him and I see my future. But…my parents won’t get over…

“My Boyfriend’s Kids are Interfering With Our Relationship”

I have been in a wonderful relationship for almost two years now. Paul is the best man I have ever met in my life. I am 49 and he is 50. Since we met, we have had a long distant relationship as my work takes me all over the country for extended periods of time. I am very lucky that Paul is understanding about my work. We try to see each other every six weeks or so. This year I seem to be the one doing all the traveling to see him, though. I’m also concerned about how Paul’s kids affect our relationship. Paul has four kids, one of whom left before…

“My Fiancé Secretly Meets Up With His Ex Girlfriend”

I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of eight years. We started dating freshman year of college when, at the time, he had just broken up senior year with his HS girlfriend, whom he also claimed was his best friend. They had broken up with the mutual agreement that they were both going off to college and it couldn’t work. I should note that, prior to their dating, his ex seriously dated one of his friends whom she later got back with in college and broke up with a year or two ago. Initially (eight years ago), I was very uncomfortable with their friendship. This was a girl who would reach out…

“My Husband Keeps Loaning Money to His Alcoholic Father”

From the forums: I have been with my husband for about four years, and we’ve been married for about a year now. It was apparent very early in our dating that his father is quite a character. He is able to make a good living at his job, but he wastes all of his money on prescription drugs, alcohol, and God knows what else. My husband claims to not approve of this behavior, but I know he has lent his dad sums of money here and there, maybe $100-200 at a time. My husband claims that his father has always paid him back and that, until he fails to pay him back,…

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