Updates: “Needy or Not?” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Needy or Not?” who wrote in over two years ago about how she felt like her boyfriend wasn’t making her a priority in his life. “Between volunteer groups, organized sports, and networking events, I pretty much never see him, yet we live only a few miles apart,” she wrote. She wondered if she was reasonable for feeling ignored or if she was simply being “too needy.” Keep reading to see where things stand now, over two years…

Three’s Company: “My Fiancé Lied About Going to a Strip Club”

Here’s another 3-in-1 column, a feature I’m thinking of calling “Three’s Company” (thanks to MaterialsGirl for the suggestion): I am getting married in a destination wedding in less than two weeks. My bridal shower is this weekend and I am in panic mode. I was perfectly happy until last week when I found out that my fiancé lied to me about his bachelor party not including strip clubs. The two times he has lied to me (that I know of) involve strip clubs. The first time I explained that it wasn’t that I was mad he went; I was mad that he didn’t fess up until I confronted him. Now that he’s…

Updates: “Not Into Helping My Friends Shower” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Not Into Helping My Friends Shower,” the woman who was creeped out by her (male) friend in a wheelchair who would ask for help showering and going to the bathroom. Keep reading to see how she’s handled the situation.

“What Should I Say If He Proposes?”

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost six years, and I just found out that he bought a ring and plans to propose soon. I’m excited, but, at the same time, he hasn’t been a very good boyfriend for a while. For instance, he has been *trying* to propose for several months, but he always “has too much work” or is “too tired.” We are also long distance (three hours apart), and he NEVER drives to see me. Well, last semester he drove to see me three times and I drove to see him 15 or 16 times. In two weekends I have two major events for which I’m an organizer…

“My Boyfriend Sleeps With Tons of Other Women!”

I have been in a relationship with a guy for six years. He is 62 years old and I am 51. We did a whole lot together for the first three years or so, traveling and just being together. He has a home in another country, and we also went there. When we met, he told me that he leads a complicated life, with two divorces and two children behind him. He told me he had a dependency type of set-up with a woman he had known 20 years and was still half house-sharing with, as well as staying in his own home almost next door. The other item he mentioned was…

“She Dumped Me, But I Can’t Let Her Go”

I’m from Canada and and my girlfriend of three years is from France. We’re presently located in New Zealand on working holiday visas, after finishing a year long excursion in Australia. She’s mentioned to me on occasion that she wants to move back to France to be with her family but I want to move to Canada. Neither one of us is willing to compromise moving to one place or the other. She hates the Canadian winters. I wouldn’t feel particularly comfortable living in France (I don’t speak the language and the one time I visited, I saw it as more of a holiday destination). We’ve had several conversations about the topic…

Quickies: “My Wedding’s a Month Away and I Have Cold Feet”

My wedding is just a month away and I’m not sure I want to marry my fiancé. He is loving, considerate, respectful, and hard working. However, he has some minor and major issues that concern me about our future. Firstly, when we go for a walk, he will almost always walk a foot or two ahead of me. I don’t ask him to hold my hand, but would like him to at least walk beside me and talk to me. Secondly, he is extremely attached to his family. His mom, dad, brother, and sister-in-law live two minutes away from us and visit us EVERY DAY. His mother comments on everything we do…

“Being My Husband’s Caregiver is Exhausting”

I am hoping that you and your wonderful community of commenters can help me. I have been married for seven years now, my husband and I are both in our mid-50s, and we each have a grown son. Both boys did their time in the Marine Corps and are on their own elsewhere in the country. Four years ago, my husband had an accident at work that crushed two vertebrae in his back and broke his hip. Due to multiple complications like a heart attack a year later and long-term diabetes, he is pretty much wheelchair-bound now. While he can take up to 20 steps with a walker, he is incapable of…

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