“I Have a Birth Defect and Can’t Get a Date”

I am a just-turned-30-year-old woman born with a very noticeable birth defect (no right hand) and less-than-stellar looks. I’m of average weight (size 12-14) and average height (5’3″), and have bipolar disorder. I see a therapist, but when I ask about sex, all she says is ‘lose weight and dress to attract the men you want (i’e., ‘dress slutty, as you won’t do any better with your issues’). I don’t want to dress like a whore, and I don’t want to hang out in bars — hanging out in bars attracts drunks, and while I’m no teetotaler, I don’t want a drug-addicted partner. I’m 30-years-old, and a virgin, and men my age…

“My Girlfriend’s Spending All Her Time with An Older Man”

My girlfriend and I got separated by circumstance. I was living with her on the west coast and we had a very passionate relationship. Then, I got into grad school, and had to move back east. She wanted to come with me, but she has another year of undergrad left. We had a very painful couple of months and ended up “separated.” She has since come to visit and we kind of decided we want to try and make it work. However, she spends a majority of her time with a much older man (like 30 years older) who she has said is romantically interested in her, but she claims nothing is…

“My Sexist Brother Offends My Girlfriend and Me”

My girlfriend and I live together in a desirable city, and my older brother and his wife stayed with us for a couple weeks in late July. Our apartment is on the small side, so having guests, even just for a night or two, is a bit trying and stressful even without any added complications. While they were here, “Jim” and “Karen” (not their real names) didn’t offer to help with dishes or cover the cost of entertainment, and my brother was incredibly condescending to me at every turn (which, sadly, I expected). While that was frustrating, the real issue has to do with my brother’s attitude toward women. During his visit,…

“My Boyfriend Dumped Me After I Was Sexually Assaulted”

After I received the following letter, I reached out to, Kim, a DW reader who spent three years volunteering as a rape crisis counselor through the YWCA while in graduate school (and received an award for Volunteer of the Year). Her work involved extensive training to complete crisis-counselor certification, answering hotline phone calls, accompanying victims to hospital exams and police interviews, and training to assist in hospital exams involving children. My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year and a half. He moved in with me and my roommates fairly soon after we started dating (one month). February of this year we moved into our own apartment. Our relationship…

Dear Miles: “I Keep Hooking Up with all my Classmates”

Today is my birthday (35, y’all!) so I’m taking the day off to celebrate, enjoy a little R&R and squeeze in a sonogram appointment at my OB’s office. In my absence, Miles, who is handling his new diabetic diet like a champ, by the way, has offered to guest write a few columns. Here’s one of them: Dear Miles, I started taking guitar classes. I don’t know why. I’m not normally a spontaneous person but I thought it would be fun. I was right. We all sit around in a group and play the guitar. Then, after class, we go out for beers. So far I’ve made out/had sex with 5 people…

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