Columns

I’m a 26-year-old man and I’ve never kissed a woman before. I’m not hideously ugly or anything like that; in fact, my best friend often tells me that when he introduces me to his female friends or girls in his family, they usually tell him afterward that I’m cute and ask if I have a girlfriend. My problem is that I just don’t know how to talk to women at all. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mentally ill sister who was hospitalized, and it was too damn much for me to deal with as a kid, let alone all the other angst of being a teen. As a…

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I feel as though we are getting very close and he could be a person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. On our first date we were talking about our families, siblings, etc. He told me at the time that he was an only child. Then a couple dates later we were sitting around and he apologized for lying on our first date and told me in fact that he…

I met my boyfriend online two and a half years ago, and while we didn’t mean to develop real feelings for each other, we eventually did. I lived in Canada and he lived in Australia, so for the next year and a half we both worked and saved enough money to visit each other for a few months each. We met around five months ago when he first came to visit me, and by the time I went back to Australia with him I was extremely in love. He was my first boyfriend and even my first kiss, so I’m pretty attached to him. Initially, before we met up, he had told…

When I was four my mom left my dad. My sister had just been born and my mom found out he was doing drugs and cheating on her the the woman who was babysitting us. She moved with all four of us kids back to Pennsylvania from Arizona. My dad was ordered to pay child support and they were supposed to work out a custody agreement, but instead he disappeared. The only time we heard from him afterwards was the announcement that he had a baby three months later with the woman he was cheating with. Because my mom never finished high school she always worked menial jobs for part-time wages. I…

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years. We began dated shortly after I discovered I was pregnant with someone else’s child. I made an adoption plan for my son and he was adopted two years ago. My boyfriend was with me throughout the entire time, and he has been incredibly supportive. This has not been an easy journey though; I have struggled with depression throughout this time, and I know it is very hard on him. I cannot get out of this funk, and it is incredibly frustrating to the both of us. I attend counseling regularly and am taking antidepressants. I am trying to do all the…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss a feminists’ worry that her love of submission may be promoting misogyny, whether or not to register for wedding gifts if you’re eloping, and when it’s too late to call off a wedding (hint: it’s never too late until the license has been signed and sealed).