Columns

Recently, thanks to all this virus stuff, my girlfriend and I have been separated, with me at my apartment and she at hers. Lately, since restrictions have been loosening, I’ve tried talking to her about letting me come over so we can hang out. She keeps saying no, that it’s too risky. I think, however, that she doesn’t understand my needs, and that I can’t be just limited to digital connections. I’m also getting a sneaking suspicion that there might be a greater reason why she won’t let me come over, but that’s just my worries getting the best of me, I hope. But I can’t deny it: I’m starting to think…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

From the forums: Earlier today I was messaging a friend of mine back and forth, and he mentioned how his new roommate is being annoying before he randomly said: “I need to vent for a second because this has been really bugging me a lot lately, okay?” And then, before I could even type a response, he immediately sent me this long rant written in all caps about how messed up it is that I – me, specifically — could get any medication I want while innocent, non-violent offenders are in prison for using “natural plants found in the earth” (aka marijuana, shrooms, etc.), that I am a “pawn in this greater…

My boyfriend and I met in late June, and in mid-July we went on our first date. Two weeks later we were pretty much inseparable, but it took until December for us to officially call it a relationship. Now it’s May and while we don’t officially live together, we might as well as I’m with him all but four nights a month. We help each other with bills, we talk about trips we will take and the house we want to build, and I know all his friends and they all know me. But he hasn’t said “I love you” or introduced me to his parents. I told him a few weeks…

I’m a 36-year-old woman. Early last year, I was going through a horrible breakup. I just could not recover from the betrayal my ex caused (cheating, mostly). I was constantly thinking of ways to get revenge on him for the pain he caused, which I now know was not productive. Three months after the breakup I went online to purposely seek out men in his community to make him jealous (my ex lives over an hour away). I met “Alex” and we hit it off. Even though I was still secretly plotting revenge on my ex, I did enjoy Alex’s company. However, after a few months and the complications from a long-distance…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I just had a miscarriage and I am devastated. I can’t tell my friends because they’ll judge me for getting pregnant, despite the fact I have been using birth control, and I don’t think I could bring myself to tell my mom because I don’t live at home anymore and…

I have a question about forced long-distance relationships. My boyfriend and I have been good friends for over a year and started dating late last year. We live about three to four hours away from each other and were seeing each other every other weekend. But now that the pandemic has hit, we’ve stopped seeing each other entirely as we are both high-risk and have high-risk roommates. Unfortunately, this means we will go at least three months without seeing each other, assuming the quarantines don’t last even longer. He lives in a very, very rural area and has highly limited internet access, so we can’t use skype or zoom. He has a…

I am a male in my late 50s and have been dating, for just under two years, a lady, “Maureen,” who’s a couple years younger than I am. She is a busy executive and has a 17-year-old son at home who is her priority; therefore, we have limited time together. I realized a few year ago that I have an “anxious attachment style” which I have been making progress on with a therapist, but I still get triggered. Maureen’s ex-husband cheated on her and had a child with the girlfriend. Maureen has worked for almost ten years to get herself back. She tells me all the time that she does not want…