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My close girl friend gave me a gold bracelet for Christmas, and when I showed it to my boyfriend, he commented that it was pretty and he then said: “I hope you won’t feel bad, but I want to buy Lily a gold bracelet, too.” Lily is my 7-year-old niece whom he’s met only once when we visited my sister a year ago. He finds her really pretty. I just find it weird that out of nowhere he would suddenly think of buying her something when he’s never bought something like that for me and didn’t even remember to give me something for my birthday (I’m not really after material things). Do…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. My new boyfriend and I decided to get an apartment together. He has a one-year-old daughter with his ex. His ex is okay with me being around the baby and he kind of is, but he won’t let me pick her up or anything of that sort. We move in together in two weeks, and I feel like I’m not allowed…

Last year my husband and I purchased our first home, about an hour away from my parents and three hours away from his. We love where we live, and we are part of a tight-knit, small community where everyone is very involved and knows each other. We love the distance from our families – close enough that it is very easy to visit, but far enough away that we don’t have to worry about people randomly stopping in and we can develop our own identities in our new community. Now I feel that our safe haven could be under attack. My younger sister and I have never had a great relationship. She…

I’m 23 and have been with my partner now for four years. We have a lot of fun together, and share similar interests and friendship groups. However, over the last few months I have been underwhelmed in the relationship, and wondering if there is something more out there. Recently, I started chatting to an old friend whom I used to work with, and we get along like a house on fire. Not only that, I find myself quite attracted to him, and more interested in receiving his messages than those from my boyfriend. Now this would seem simple: break up with my boyfriend, and chase this other guy. But then who knows…

My ex-wife had a hard week and she had no one else to talk to, so I asked her over so she could get things off her chest and feel better. When she got here, she had been drinking. She said that nobody would give her the time of day (her family isn’t very supportive), so I listened to her talk and gave her a hug because she needed one (I loved it because I loved supporting her) and she kissed me. It felt like our first kiss. She says she still loves me and I love her with all my heart, but she won’t entertain the idea of reconciling because she…

When do you know it’s time to break up with someone? I hope by virtue of asking it’s not the time, but I also don’t want to hear what I think might be your answer. I’m 28 and have never been in a relationship until now, no flings or anything. I was busy with school and work and did some online dating, but nothing stuck. I’m also a virgin. I met my boyfriend about five months ago online. Initially, I wasn’t sure if I was physically attracted to him, but he was really nice (also funny, smart, etc.). Still, he wasn’t my type as far as I knew, but I wasn’t ever…

In answer to this letter in the forums:

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I’m very much in love with my boyfriend. We have been together for three years and have lived together now for two years. He is still married with three grown-up children (20, 23, and 29). His children still live with his wife in the family home. He pays half the…