“He’s Sleeping With Me But Dating Someone Else”

I am a very young 79-year-old woman. I lost my husband nineteen months ago and have been seeing a friend who also lost his spouse four years ago. We knew each other when both spouses were living. Our involvement during our first six months together was friendly dating. Then he came to visit me in Florida (we were living in different states) and ended up in my bed. I thought we would have an exclusive relationship, but when he went home, it turned out he was dating another woman I was not aware of when he had sex with me. He was not sleeping with her, but it hurt me deeply and…

Morning Quickies: “I Supported Him When His Father Died, And Now He Won’t Move With Me”

I’m back from vacation (or, as we call it when we travel with young kinds, “a trip”)! Now I get to play catch up on emails and laundry and errands and all that exciting, post-travel fun. Before that, here are a couple quickies as I ease back into the flow of things: I have been in a relationship for four years. My boyfriend and I have talked excitedly and continuously about getting married and having a life together. However, last year for a good ten months his father became sick, followed by his passing away. I would go with him to visit his dad all the time. I was as supportive as…

“I Think My Boyfriend Cheated on His Ex With Me”

My boyfriend, “Sam,” and I have been dating for a year and five months. When we first started dating, Sam and I had each just gotten out of relationships. Sam told me that he and his ex had broken up six months prior to our dating. His ex, however, was telling everyone that he cheated with me and that I am a whore and the cause of their relationship’s end. I honestly did not believe her because she is very mentally unstable (a big part of the reason they broke up) to the point that he had to have police intervention in removing her from his condo building after she broke in…

Morning Quickies: “My In-Laws Still Invite My Husband’s Ex-Wife to Family Events”

I have been married to my husband for eleven years and, since the beginning of our marriage, my husband’s family has insisted on inviting his ex-wife to different family functions. We do not get along with her and she tried to cause problems early in our marriage. Despite our request to his family over and over again that they not invite her, she is still invited and my in-laws don’t understand what the problem is. We went a few years without speaking to his family because of this issue, but recently they did it again. It blows my mind because she is not even a relative anymore and they would rather have…

“My Fiancé Thinks I’m Paying Our Wedding Babysitters Too Much”

My fiancé and I are having a small destination wedding on a holiday weekend in Charleston, S.C., and we are planning a kid-free reception at a beach house on the water. I have a friend in Charleston who has connected me to two teachers who will have planned activities for our guests’ kids and make sure they eat. My fiancé and I are at odds because he believes I am over paying them. I have offered each teacher $500 and am including them in our catering head count. They will be with the kids for about 4.5 hours and will have seven kids total, ranging in age babies to nine years old….

“Am I Too Much of a Loner for My Social Butterfly Girlfriend?”

I’m a man in my 40s and I’ve been in a steady relationship with my partner, “Sylvia,” for the past three months. She and I have great chemistry with intellectual, emotional, and physical compatibility. The issue is that I’m very much a loner and, in contrast, her lifestyle involves a lot of family and friends. I’m respectful, courteous, and kind, but I’m not looking forward to meeting her family or friends. I’m not anti-social from a personality standpoint — I have an engaging and bright personality, but I want to participate very sparingly in her family and friend events. I prefer to spend most of our time one-on-one and not spend the…

“My Friend is Mad That I Skipped Her Bachelorette Party”

I’ve just read your article where you mentioned that showing up to your friend’s events was the best thing you could do as a friend. What if showing up to a friend’s bachelorette party would upset a mutual friend who had been excluded and not invited to the party? We have all three been friends for twenty years and met at the same school. The friend who is having the bachelorette party is annoyed with me for not going to her party. Was I wrong to skip it because I didn’t want to upset the other friend who had not been invited? I know that if it was I and I saw…

Quickies: “My Boyfriend’s Daughter Didn’t Give Him a Plus-One to Her Wedding”

Three quickies-in-one today: The daughter of my boyfriend of three years is getting married soon. I had assumed that I would accompany him to the wedding even though I knew it would be awkward with his ex (daughter’s mother), and his father-of-the-bride role. I received an invitation in the mail today for myself, which specifically indicated one guest (me), with a reply requested. Am I wrong to feel hurt/offended? I never expected to receive a formal invitation; I thought I was included with him as his plus-one. — Not a Plus-One

“I Was Engaged to a Man, But Fell In Love With a Woman”

I was with my past boyfriend/fiancé, “Craig,” for seven years. I loved him to pieces. We were best friends and so comfortable with one another. We laughed, had sex regularly, had great friends, and had similar dreams. We met in college and moved to another city to live together when we both graduated. We made great friends and established a life there. We were happy. I have always been afraid of marriage because I’ve seen so many fail, but I felt safe with him. My only complaint was his lack of emotion. He was always just stone cold; he never expressed worry or sadness to me. I’d ask him why he never…

In Other Words: “The Bride’s Mad that I Wore a Blue Dress”

From a recent Dear Prudence: I recently attended a wedding of one of my husband’s college friends. He’s not someone that we see often, but we encounter him and his bride two or three times a year at parties, are friends on Facebook, etc. Anyways, I wore a blue dress to the ceremony, and it turns out that the bride’s wedding colors were royal blue. Her bridesmaids wore the color, the close family wore the color. I had no idea. Other than a wedding invitation, we never had any contact with them prior to the event since a summer BBQ where dress codes were not discussed. It seems that she casually told…

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