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My fiancé and I are having a small destination wedding on a holiday weekend in Charleston, S.C., and we are planning a kid-free reception at a beach house on the water. I have a friend in Charleston who has connected me to two teachers who will have planned activities for our guests’ kids and make sure they eat. My fiancé and I are at odds because he believes I am over paying them. I have offered each teacher $500 and am including them in our catering head count. They will be with the kids for about 4.5 hours and will have seven kids total, ranging in age babies to nine years old….

I’m a man in my 40s and I’ve been in a steady relationship with my partner, “Sylvia,” for the past three months. She and I have great chemistry with intellectual, emotional, and physical compatibility. The issue is that I’m very much a loner and, in contrast, her lifestyle involves a lot of family and friends. I’m respectful, courteous, and kind, but I’m not looking forward to meeting her family or friends. I’m not anti-social from a personality standpoint — I have an engaging and bright personality, but I want to participate very sparingly in her family and friend events. I prefer to spend most of our time one-on-one and not spend the…

I’ve just read your article where you mentioned that showing up to your friend’s events was the best thing you could do as a friend. What if showing up to a friend’s bachelorette party would upset a mutual friend who had been excluded and not invited to the party? We have all three been friends for twenty years and met at the same school. The friend who is having the bachelorette party is annoyed with me for not going to her party. Was I wrong to skip it because I didn’t want to upset the other friend who had not been invited? I know that if it was I and I saw…

Three quickies-in-one today: The daughter of my boyfriend of three years is getting married soon. I had assumed that I would accompany him to the wedding even though I knew it would be awkward with his ex (daughter’s mother), and his father-of-the-bride role. I received an invitation in the mail today for myself, which specifically indicated one guest (me), with a reply requested. Am I wrong to feel hurt/offended? I never expected to receive a formal invitation; I thought I was included with him as his plus-one. — Not a Plus-One

I was with my past boyfriend/fiancé, “Craig,” for seven years. I loved him to pieces. We were best friends and so comfortable with one another. We laughed, had sex regularly, had great friends, and had similar dreams. We met in college and moved to another city to live together when we both graduated. We made great friends and established a life there. We were happy. I have always been afraid of marriage because I’ve seen so many fail, but I felt safe with him. My only complaint was his lack of emotion. He was always just stone cold; he never expressed worry or sadness to me. I’d ask him why he never…

From a recent Dear Prudence: I recently attended a wedding of one of my husband’s college friends. He’s not someone that we see often, but we encounter him and his bride two or three times a year at parties, are friends on Facebook, etc. Anyways, I wore a blue dress to the ceremony, and it turns out that the bride’s wedding colors were royal blue. Her bridesmaids wore the color, the close family wore the color. I had no idea. Other than a wedding invitation, we never had any contact with them prior to the event since a summer BBQ where dress codes were not discussed. It seems that she casually told…

My husband, “Bob,” and I have been married for twenty-four years. He is ten years younger than I am. I am a beautiful woman, so I guess I don’t understand why he flirts with other women. He has this smirk thing that he does. What the heck does it mean? We rent a beach house every year with my brother and sister-in-law, and she comes over with food and drinks and takes over the place like she has something to prove. Here’s the thing: she is a pain. Her husband is finally treating her better than he used to partly because of my teaching him how. But she has been flirting with…

I am 28 have been dating my boyfriend, “Derek,” 38, for a little over three years now. We are probably going to move in together at the end of the summer. While I love him, I have been dragging my feet on moving in together, which I originally thought was just nerves on taking such a big step. My friends and family love Derek and think we’re a great match. He is thoughtful, responsible, and understanding, and we agree on all the important issues. We travel well together and enjoy a lot of the same hobbies. I really have no problems with him or our relationship outside of minor domestic things, and…

Guess what today is?! It’s Lurker Introduction Day (Take 6), a day when lurkers on this website are invited to come out of hiding and show themselves. It’s also a day I totally made up. But, look, I know what it’s like. I’ve been before, and am, a lurker on different sites. You read along for weeks or maybe months (maybe even years??) without ever having an intention to NOT participate — it just sort of happens that way. You might have things to say in the comments, but they’ve already been said a dozen or so other ways by other people — people who comment all the time. Or, maybe you’re…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. Long time lurker, first time writer here. I have been with my boyfriend “Mark” for one year, and we have a great time together. We have talked about wanting to have a relationship that progresses towards marriage, but we aren’t in a rush to do so immediately. He is 35,…