Columns

This letter was posted on Reddit this week: My husband and I have been happily married for four years, together for six. We’re expecting our first child, a boy, due in six weeks. We’ve honestly never been happier with each other. When we found out we were having a boy, my husband requested we name him after his father. I had no problem with this, though his father’s name is not one I like at all. But we both agreed to make his father’s name our son’s middle name. For clarity, let’s say the name we agreed on was Thomas Shaun. Two weeks ago my father died very unexpectedly. I have had…

When I started this site over five years ago, I had no idea that weddings would prove to be such a controversial and emotionally-charged topic. But over the last few years, I have received more wedding-related letters than on any other topic. In honor of Wedding Week Day here on Dear Wendy, here is a round-up of the site’s all-time most popular wedding columns. (I know at least a few will spark a trip down memory lane…)  

This is the time of year that I would normally be doing Wedding Week here on DW. Well, guess what? I forgot all about Wedding Week until just this minute and don’t really feel like making it a big thing this year. Some of you are now popping open the champagne and screaming, “Hells yeah, bitches!” but, before you get too carried away, I’d like to dedicate this single post to all things wedding-related. Think of this as a condensed version of Wedding Week, where we can discuss wedding trauma and drama and joy and fun. (You can still pop the champagne though.) Are you currently planning a wedding? Feel free to…

My sister is always complaining to me about her money issues. She and her husband are pregnant with their second child, live rent-free with her parents, have two brand new cars with $300 payments, and have high car insurance due to multiple wrecks on both of their records. She gets mad at her husband because he asks her to find a job so they can have extra money and move out of her parents’ house, but she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. He works under the table at a restaurant, and he supposedly gets paid every other week but sometimes it’s only once a month. Thankfully, they get WIC and food…

The following letter appeared in a recent column of The Ethicist in The New York Times: I have been with my boyfriend for several years, and I love him very much. We each decided to study abroad for the spring semester of our junior year and have found ourselves on opposite ends of the globe. We will be apart for almost six months, with only intermittent access to the phone and Internet. Before we left, we agreed that it would be best to temporarily open our relationship. We wanted to fully enjoy our respective experiences and take the opportunity to explore being with other people. We decided that we would not discuss…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years, during which time I have been around his family on numerous occasions: graduations, birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. His grandmother passed away Friday evening, and he did not bother to tell me until the following evening–and only then…

To ease us into the work week this Monday morning, here are two-quickies-in-one:   I have been dating this man for almost five months. My birthday is coming up during Memorial Day weekend and he just told me he may be going out of town to go to his uncle’s party. He also said that if he goes, we will celebrate my birthday either early or late. I told him that the choice of whether to go or stay was his to make. Is it too early in the relationship to expect him to choose to stay with me instead of leaving town? — Birthday Girl

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. My fiancé, Jim, is jealous that my daughter is not his. Her “sperm donor” has no contact. Jim is concerned he will not be able to overcome this and will not marry me if he feels he can’t. I need help on how to reassure him; this will take time to build the relationship. What do I do? — Need to…

This question seems like a no-brainer, right? But, apparently, some people think women are “disgusting” for demanding such a thing. Some think that if, years earlier, both the man and the woman agreed that the woman would abort or give a baby up for adoption if their recreational sex resulted in an unwanted pregnancy, that it’s not OK for the woman to change her mind and then expect the man to help support the baby he helped to create. (Speaking of babies, my own is sick and teething like crazy today, so I gave the babysitter the morning off and am taking Joanie to the doctor when she wakes up from her…