Columns

I’m an early 30s woman, married almost three years to a man whom I’ve been with for six. I’ve always identified as straight-ish; although I’ve had crushes on women for my whole life (a couple times a year since middle school), I’ve never done more than kiss a woman — and, honestly, it never really occurred to me that those crushes meant anything. Being with a man has fit the script I wanted for my life, and it seemed to work, so I went with it. My husband is a wonderful man, but our relationship is much more one of compatibility, comfort, making sense life-wise than some deeply passionate romance. Neither of…

The following letter appeared in a recent Dear Abby column and was sent to me by a DW reader who was outraged by the advice given. I read the advice and felt torn, which you can read about below, after the jump. I am a junior in high school. Last year, a guy I have known for two years began showing a sexual interest in me. I rejected his advances. Last week, he began expressing his interest again, letting me know he wanted to have sex. He invited me to study — only study — but said we “might” make out. I was a virgin and had never even kissed anyone before….

My now-husband and I started dating in February 2014. We got married in August 2015, we opened a business in January of this year, and now the business is going bankrupt (only my husband is filing). We’ve moved around a lot for work and we’ve always been stressed about money, which causes us to fight. About a month ago, my husband told me that he hasn’t been happy, that he no longer sees our future together, that we don’t have much in common, and that there’s nothing to save. He said that, although he loves me and I’m the love of his life, love isn’t enough to make a relationship last and…

Your recent topic of the day, on relationships and the strains on them, struck a chord. I’ve been with my husband for thirteen years now. He’s a funny, friendly, amiable guy, kind of like Marshall from “How I Met Your Mother” but a bit tougher (to give you a picture). We’ve bought a dream house with a dream yard that we both care a lot about. The other day a neighbor kid came up to me saying she was looking forward to playing on our trampoline. Turns out my husband has promised to build a trampoline in our yard and all the kids in our neighborhood are really excited. I had no…

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. Things for the most part are pretty good except for one thing: He gets disgusted with me when I eat. At first I thought, “Oh, hell no are you going to comment on what I’m eating!” The first time this happened was only a few months into the relationship, and we got into a huge fight. Well, after this, we had the same fight over and over. So, I’d just wait for him to go to bed; I’m a late-night snacker anyway — always have been. But after I started doing this, he would do an inventory of the cupboards and the…

I’m a 27-year-old woman working two jobs to pay the bills. I was accepted into an incredibly competitive master’s program this year in a cutting-edge field. I was so proud to tell the rest of my family when I was accepted, but I only got mixed reactions, especially from my grandparents. I have been seeing, for three years, a wonderful man who proposed recently; we have been waiting to tell my family until I go see them in person this weekend. I also have two sisters, one 26 and one 20. My 26-year-old sister has graduated college, works for her university, and is talking engagement with a great guy she’s been seeing…

I have been dating my boyfriend for about eight months now – and what an amazing eight months it has been. He is so sweet, all my friends love him, I love all of his friends, and we always have the best time together. He has become not just my intimate partner but also one of my closest companions. I go to him whenever I am feeling upset, and he is always there to comfort me. However, since my last boyfriend cheated on me, I have been a bit paranoid throughout this current relationship. I just recently checked my boyfriend’s browser history and discovered he has been using online chat rooms to…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My wife and I have been together for twenty years, married going on seventeen years. We have a good marriage and two beautiful kids. When began dating, she was always open about her sexual past as was I about mine. We work in an environment where she knew that is…

Because of childhood trauma and the resulting anxieties/depression, I was a late bloomer in dating. The good news is, I’ve been through therapy and a lot of soul-searching, and I feel like I’m ready to be in a committed relationship. The bad news is, I’m 37, and it seems that there just aren’t any eligible men over 35, even in NYC. “Eligible” to me means a man who shares common values, has good character, and, obviously, is available – in all senses of the word. But finding a man in his late 30s or 40s who has all these qualities is beginning to resemble a unicorn hunt. I meet lots of men…

My grandfather is 86 and lives alone in a 55+ community about a ninety-minute drive from my mother, his only child. I am about a four-hour drive away and I am the only grandchild. My grandfather does not speak to any of his sisters, so my mom, my stepfather, my husband, and I are it. My grandmother passed away about six years ago. My grandfather is slowing down quite a bit and has trouble getting around. He walks with a cane and, sometimes, a walker, and generally has trouble with his legs. My mother and I have talked to him repeatedly about giving up driving, but (unsurprisingly) he refuses. He says he’s…