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To ease us into the work week this Monday morning, here are two-quickies-in-one:   I have been dating this man for almost five months. My birthday is coming up during Memorial Day weekend and he just told me he may be going out of town to go to his uncle’s party. He also said that if he goes, we will celebrate my birthday either early or late. I told him that the choice of whether to go or stay was his to make. Is it too early in the relationship to expect him to choose to stay with me instead of leaving town? — Birthday Girl

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. My fiancé, Jim, is jealous that my daughter is not his. Her “sperm donor” has no contact. Jim is concerned he will not be able to overcome this and will not marry me if he feels he can’t. I need help on how to reassure him; this will take time to build the relationship. What do I do? — Need to…

This question seems like a no-brainer, right? But, apparently, some people think women are “disgusting” for demanding such a thing. Some think that if, years earlier, both the man and the woman agreed that the woman would abort or give a baby up for adoption if their recreational sex resulted in an unwanted pregnancy, that it’s not OK for the woman to change her mind and then expect the man to help support the baby he helped to create. (Speaking of babies, my own is sick and teething like crazy today, so I gave the babysitter the morning off and am taking Joanie to the doctor when she wakes up from her…

Ten months ago I moved across the country for better career opportunities. Nine months ago I started dating my boyfriend. We both highly value education, have multiple advanced degrees, and live in an area where this is exceptionally rare. We live about an hour apart and take turns driving to one another’s towns, etc. We don’t have a lot in common, but we do enjoy one another’s company. Boyfriend stresses that we be equal in everything. For example, if he pays for a date, then I pay for the next one. I don’t have any issue with this per se, but it does seem as if it always works out that he…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I met a guy at work (different department) in February this year and things took off quite well. When this relationship started, he confided in me that he’d been having problems with his girlfriend of one year and they were on the verge of breaking up. He said they weren’t…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

My husband and I have an 8-year-old daughter who, during school breaks, spends a few days holidaying with my mother and stepfather. Yesterday, she shared a story that worried me. She told me her step-grandfather (John) was taking a nap and she woke him (on purpose) by singing loudly. John got angry and said, “You stupid little rat!” and left the room. My daughter cried and told her grandmother, who brushed the incident aside. Later John told her he wasn’t calling HER a rat but had thought he saw one running across the room. My daughter said she thought he was “just making excuses” for calling her a bad name. Later, they…

My boyfriend bought his parents’ house that he grew up in and they just moved out of a year ago. He is assuming that his future wife will move into it and he has voiced that he thinks that is me. We have talked about getting engaged in another year. I told him that I want to buy a home together with my future husband as I have the savings and income to do so, but he is unwilling to give up this house right now. He seems to think there is nothing else on the market this big and finished in our area for this price. He also said his parents…