It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My boyfriend and I recently split due to ongoing issues throughout the majority of our three-year relationship. He is back living with his parents and is 38 years old. Sigh. I believe deep down he is a good person, but for some reason he has very little ambition and can be very immature. I am not claiming sainthood, but at 31 I do feel as if I have surpassed him mentally and emotionally. We have a beautiful one-year-old little girl together while he has a son and a daughter from previous marriages and I have a son from my only marriage when I was 20. My son’s father passed away last year…
My husband and I have been married for forty years and love our two children, but, unfortunately, our 31-year-old daughter has great jealousy of my husband’s and my relationship. We often include our children in things we do and love having them with us, but she doesn’t like to do things with us because she says she feels like a third wheel. Recently, our daughter asked my husband to take her to another state where she bought a ticket to go to a comedy show by herself. My husband drives for a living, so she asked him to drive her there. He asked me to join them so that we could do…
I have exhausted every avenue for advice and I’m getting to the point where I feel physically ill with stress. I’m 27 years old with three children. I have spent four years with my youngest child’s dad, Tom, whom I adored!! But Tom got depressed when his father died — two days before our son was born — after a 10-month battle with lung cancer. I kept trying to help but he wouldn’t admit he was depressed and said he was down because he doesn’t love me. I went to relationship counseling with him and then he went to personal counseling too. He told me over a period of about two years…
“My daughter and my mother have long had a very turbulent relationship. I understand and acknowledge my mother is verbally abusive to my daughter…”
I’m a 31-year-old female who has never been in a relationship, been on a date, or had sex. Recently, though, I met a guy during a work event, he asked for my number, and he immediately started texting me the moment I got home. We got along just fine and started making plans. I was, of course, over the moon to finally get the attention of a nice man who seemed genuinely interested in me. But then, recently, during a conversation I said jokingly, “You must think I am the craziest,” to which he responded: “I wouldn’t say you are the most ‘anything’ woman I have ever met.” Which I interpreted as…
“We all bought our dresses just under a year ago. Then I found out I was pregnant, and my due date is a week after her wedding.”
I’ve been seeing a wonderful man for about three years. I love him very much and he asked me to marry him along the way, but I said no. After much soul searching, I’ve realized the reason I said no was fear of continued emotional abandonment. We’ve worked on a lot of things in our relationship and we get along great, but, when something doesn’t go his way, he literally walks away from the relationship — no calls, no texting, and no real explanation to what he’s upset about. It’s always me reaching back out to see if he’s okay, and, ultimately, things get back on track again. It’s taken me a…
I have been in a relationship for six years and we live together. My daughter is white and married a wonderful Black man. They now have a child and are expecting another. My boyfriend is very distant with my grandchild and has said he will never accept a biracial grandchild. He explains that it is because he was raised that way. I want to have a relationship with my daughter and her husband and their children very much. But I love my boyfriend too. I feel that they are trying to make me choose between them and I don’t know how to handle the situation. I would like some suggestions please. —…
My boyfriend and I are both divorced (I have two children, he has none). Each of our most recent respective relationships were with addicts (my ex was a serious porn/sex addict and his was a serious alcoholic). We have both worked very hard to overcome co-dependency issues that we experienced in our past relationships. However, I spent over two years staying single purposely so that I could work on my issues while he dated the entire time between his last ex and our relationship. I worry that he didn’t give himself enough time to deal with what his ex did to him (cheated on him after 11 years, engaged in constant drunken…
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