‘Hope’ Is an Act of Resistance, Too
Well, the worst-case scenario happened; he won, and by a landslide. I was so hopeful in the weeks leading up to Tuesday, and now, in the days since we learned the awful news, I have been slowly moving through a fog of shock and grief and worry and pain. I know I’m not alone. After the election was called, my 13-year-old was distraught, and I think as a mom what was hardest for me was seeing the realization in his sweet, kind eyes that sometimes the bullies win and that justice is a pursuit that often feels futile. But it’s not. Justice will always be worth pursuing. And we must continue, one step in front of the other.
In trying to soothe my son as he shared his concerns – first and foremost, his worry about climate change and what it means for his generation – I found some small bit of comfort. An antidote to anxiety is action, and in trying to figure out what actions I can take that won’t deplete my energy and will support the work on my mental health that I’ve invested so much in, I realized that raising good, kind, moral children who are engaged in the world around them is a big contribution. That will always be my starting point.
If you’ve been struggling, I want to offer this: it’s enough right now to just take care of yourself. Especially in these early days, focus on the basics: sleep; movement; nutrition; water; fresh air. We will have years – our whole lives, really, no matter who is president – to fight for what is right and moral. Part of taking care of yourself includes setting boundaries.
I have been getting a repeat question over the past two days about spending the holidays with people who voted for Trump, and my response is: you don’t have to. You are not obligated to break bread with anyone who voted in favor of threatening your rights. You are not obligated to celebrate a holiday with anyone who has heard and seen his blatant racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, sheer stupidity, and hate and for whom – best-case – it wasn’t a dealbreaker and – worst case – it was a plus. This is the time to prioritize self-care and boundary-setting, and to maybe re-evaluate where and to whom you give your energy and time, and whether their values align with yours.
Americans have been through a Trump presidency before, and worse. We will get through another. I am just as nervous and terrified and heartbroken as many others desperate to turn the page on this dark chapter. At 48, I don’t know if I will see in my lifetime now a correction to the horror we are about to experience. But I am not without hope, and you shouldn’t be either.
I prayed that the American people would do the right thing and I’m devastated that so many of us are too brainwashed to see right from wrong. But I am not without hope – hope that we will overcome this like we’ve overcome so much darkness before, hope that the light will break through – if not in one glorious beam that extinguishes all darkness forever, then in cycles, like the sun rising in the east every morning, reminding us that there’s always a new day.
I am trying so hard to not be upset, but man, it is NOT easy right now. I am nervous as hell of what’s to come, but trying to stay positive. I have ceased contact with my family who I know are Trumpers, but this was just the cherry on top. There were other issues, but this is where I draw my own boundary line. My own father is not the same, respectable person that raised me. I never heard him ever call someone the c-word, but he did for Kamala. I mean J6 was enough for me, but that just added more to the list. I have zero interest in spending time with them now, and if that makes me a snowflake, so be it. I will say that, while I’ve only been a lurker since the very early days, this was the first place I knew there would be some sanity and place to vent. So thank you to Wendy and others here for that.
I appreciate you being here, thank you.
Thank you Wendy for putting into words what many of us are feeling. Last night my local Indivisible group had a meeting. Our numbers had been getting lower over the last months but we had more than 70 people show up, many for the first time. The energy was great – people seemed revitalized about a couple of days of total grief. We’re here to stay -ne step at a time. Action is the antidote to despair…
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Nailed it. Well said.
Sending you love from the U.K. Gutted for you.
Thank you. I’m gutted for us too. 😞
Thank you Wendy for providing a safe space for us all. It’s been rough and I consider it a success if I can go through the day by crying only twice. One thing I have read that gives me a glimmer of hope is this https://www.pajiba.com/news/so-what-do-we-do-know.php
I hope people will fuel their rage into supporting those who are already mobilizing to stand up for what they believe in. We also need to support liberal media so please please consider subscribing to Simon rosenberg’s hopium chronicles, buying from penzeys, donating to the ACLU, and voting with our dollars to support businesses who support us.
Apologies if this is incoherent I have been struggling and my thoughts have all been jumbled.
It is shocking. Especially sad when I, a Canadian , asked someone I know who lives in Alabama, what they thought of the election outcome. They said they knew Harris couldn’t/wouldn’t win. They said they did not like Trump and it was going to be a tough 4 years ahead, but ” there was nothing they could do about it”. And then, they admitted that they did not vote!!
I wonder how many others just avoided choosing. I also think that sexism had a part in this loss.
I think we need to be careful with the ‘as a Canadian’ stuff, because some of our folks are coming off as unappealingly cocky with that phrase. When Trump won in 2016, one of our national newspapers ran a front-page photo of Trump mocking a disabled person with the headline: WTF America? Back then, I was thankful for the kindness and sanity in Canada. Now, I am not so smug. I’m on high alert. Next October, our own mini-Trump is incredibly likely to take over our national government. Just weeks ago in British Columbia, climate change-denying conspiracy theorists whose platform actually included requiring universities to have policies to tolerate on-campus hate as described by the Canadian Criminal Code, came within 27 votes – 27! – of taking power over the province. America is the canary in the coal mine but it’s in Canada too. We’re less than a year behind the US unless we can turn things around and our premier will not step aside until he is thrown out, so that seems unlikely. I will be paying attention for ways we can help on both sides of the border.
Thanks for this. The US is deeply, deeply flawed, but the direction Canada is headed scares me, too. We are seeing a post-covid global swing to the right. The US just happens to have Trump – a cult-like figure that comes around like once or twice every 100 years or so. This time he’s an American, devastating and unfortunate as that is for us. We Americans will feel the effects the hardest, but I know that his position of power is a global threat and I am sorry we weren’t successful in stopping him thus far.
True Canada Goose, we do have some issues of that ilk here too. Scary stuff all around.
I posted on this website before as a transgender woman who get rejected by my family. Anti-transgender sentiment has only grown since I first began my journey 7 years ago. But I’m confident that they will never be able to drive us back into into the closet or into society’s margins; the places we traditionally inhabited. Too many young people have become aware that they are trans; our numbers are growing and no group in society is more fanatical in its determination to protect our right to our bodies and our way of life. Conservatives realize this and they are freaking out. They are reaching and grasping in desperation to turn back the clock. But time continues to march forward. Even in places like the Middle East, where LGBT rights are unthinkable to imagine, resistance is growing stronger and louder. I don’t have a doubt in my mind that we will win.