‘Hope’ Is an Act of Resistance, Too

Well, the worst-case scenario happened; he won, and by a landslide. I was so hopeful in the weeks leading up to Tuesday, and now, in the days since we learned the awful news, I have been slowly moving through a fog of shock and grief and worry and pain. I know I’m not alone. After the election was called, my 13-year-old was distraught, and I think as a mom what was hardest for me was seeing the realization in his sweet, kind eyes that sometimes the bullies win and that justice is a pursuit that often feels futile. But it’s not. Justice will always be worth pursuing. And we must continue, one step in front of the other.

In trying to soothe my son as he shared his concerns – first and foremost, his worry about climate change and what it means for his generation – I found some small bit of comfort. An antidote to anxiety is action, and in trying to figure out what actions I can take that won’t deplete my energy and will support the work on my mental health that I’ve invested so much in, I realized that raising good, kind, moral children who are engaged in the world around them is a big contribution. That will always be my starting point.

If you’ve been struggling, I want to offer this: it’s enough right now to just take care of yourself. Especially in these early days, focus on the basics: sleep; movement; nutrition; water; fresh air. We will have years – our whole lives, really, no matter who is president – to fight for what is right and moral. Part of taking care of yourself includes setting boundaries.

I have been getting a repeat question over the past two days about spending the holidays with people who voted for Trump, and my response is: you don’t have to. You are not obligated to break bread with anyone who voted in favor of threatening your rights. You are not obligated to celebrate a holiday with anyone who has heard and seen his blatant racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, sheer stupidity, and hate and for whom – best-case – it wasn’t a dealbreaker and – worst case – it was a plus. This is the time to prioritize self-care and boundary-setting, and to maybe re-evaluate where and to whom you give your energy and time, and whether their values align with yours.

Americans have been through a Trump presidency before, and worse. We will get through another. I am just as nervous and terrified and heartbroken as many others desperate to turn the page on this dark chapter. At 48, I don’t know if I will see in my lifetime now a correction to the horror we are about to experience. But I am not without hope, and you shouldn’t be either.

I prayed that the American people would do the right thing and I’m devastated that so many of us are too brainwashed to see right from wrong. But I am not without hope – hope that we will overcome this like we’ve overcome so much darkness before, hope that the light will break through – if not in one glorious beam that extinguishes all darkness forever, then in cycles, like the sun rising in the east every morning, reminding us that there’s always a new day.