“My Colleague Took All the Credit for Our Joint Project”
On the day of the session, Twerp is continually approached and makes no effort to deflect any of the visitors my way. He might have easily said “This is my equal co-author, she can tell you all about this…”, but he didn’t. After he had taken five visitors questions, I started to fume and told him he needed to leave, to which he agreed. We spent two more awkward days together, and he NEVER offered an apology and I feel utterly backstabbed because we were friendly until this incident, grabbing coffee in the mornings, etc. Is this finally a taste of the cut-throat academia? Maybe the congenial atmosphere of my lab was just an exception up until this point?
Today, it has been exactly two weeks since the conference. I confronted him, and he offered no apology or admittance of wrongdoing whatsoever and was snarky and sarcastic to me throughout the conversation. I told him I would have to tell our advisor what has happened and ensure that at the next conference I get to have all presentation time. Do you think this is the right call? I don’t want to be childish. How do I get through these next 3-4 years when he sits five feet away from me and the very sight of him makes my blood boil!!? — Grad School Woes
What you experienced was not a taste of cut-throat academia; it was a taste of the way the work world works. Whether you work in the Academy or sell insurance for a living, you are constantly in competition with your colleagues. You’re in competition for promotions, clients, bonuses, better schedules, better offices, raises, etc., etc. That doesn’t mean that the competition has to rule your work relationships or that you can’t be congenial with your colleagues, but it does mean that you have to watch your back, stand up for yourself, and always, ALWAYS look out for Numero Uno because no one else will as well as you can.
This experience was also an important lesson — or reminder — that as a woman in a world and, especially, a field, that is run predominantly by men, you HAVE to be assertive. You can’t just hand over a title or a position or an opportunity that you have just as much right to “to be generous.” Men don’t do that. And you shouldn’t either. What you do is fight for it. Or flip for it. Or figure out some negotiating tactics so that if you do hand over an opportunity that is equally yours, you get something in return. Maybe: “I’ll let you present at the conference, but I want to be listed as first author.” Or something like that. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up a career opportunity that brings you nothing in return “to be generous.” That’s just stupid. And don’t ever make an assumption that your generosity will be remembered and will help you some time down the line. If you’re giving something away in hopes of creating an alliance that will prove beneficial to you in the future, then think about what you hope that person may be able to offer you or do for you, and make that hope known.
As for how you’ll get through the next 3-4 years sitting five feet away from this guy who failed to pass a few session questions your way during one of your first conferences, think of this as a lesson in how the real world works. Most people sit a few feet away from a co-worker they don’t like. And the way they deal with it is by being cordial at the office and then blowing off steam at happy hour or at the gym or on the weekends with their friends.
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WWS! Couldn’t say it any better or add anything more. I have known professors to steal their graduate students work, publish it as their own, and no one confronts them. This is real life.
I agree with WWS and would add one thing: Don’t tell your advisor. This is something between the two of you. You’ve learned your lesson. Deal with it. Tattling with NOT help your reputation whatsoever nor will it hurt his.
Right? Wendy’s response was perfect.
My group was asked to come up with ideas about better way to win work. We did, my boss sent the e-mail to her boss, and he forwarded to the higher ups, taking full credit. This totally happens and Wendy’s right, the best way to blow off steam is venting with friends over happy hour. It helps. A lot.
Also, I WOULD NOT tell on him. It will make you look childish. Especially since it’s several weeks after the fact. You could have maybe said something within a couple days, but your window of opportunity has passesd. Chalk it up to lesson learned and follow Wendy’s awesome advice in the future.
LW, this is the sort of mistake that most young people (but especially women) make when starting out their professional careers. It’s no one’s mistake but your own. However, you’re still young and new in the field so you’ll have plenty of time to make up for it if you don’t dwell on this and/or do anything childish (like “tattle” on your co-student).
I just have one more thing to add to my above comment. In your future presentations, maybe you can keep a few of your best ideas/concepts private from your fellow students and surprise the heck out of everyone at the presentation. That way, no one can take credit for your best work and you give the impression of being the lone genius coming in out of left field with some brilliant shit. It’s a stupid game for sure, but you want to win right?
WW (and everyone else) S! Also, LW, find a really good mentor – female if you can, if you are in a male-dominated field, but a good male mentor can work, too – in your field and observe how they present, how they handle delicate situations and how they network. Take inspiration from how they handle themselves in real-world situations and adapt them for your own. This is the kind of stuff that they do not and cannot teach you in school, and it is crucial for success. And for the love of god, like everyone else has said, don’t go crying to your advisor because something that happened in the real world wasn’t fair to you. The best thing that can come from that is that your advisor will think you’re an immature child who cannot handle real life situations. Certainly, no one is going to chastise “Twerp” or mandate you get more time next time or do anything at all for you to make your life fair. Instead, accept responsibility for your mistake and learn from it.
Not to be mean after your “generosity” but … wow. This letter just reeks of immaturity. I get it — you’re only in your 20s, right? You’ll learn the way to balance assertiveness while not being unkind. Right now? He’s probably thinking you’re a complete b**** and is wondering what in the world your problem is.
No — you do NOT go to your advisor. You reflect on YOUR mistakes not on HIS perceived perfidy, and you decide how to make sure that your work gets equal time.
And I know that some places have instituted the one-author rule, but as a side note — that’s crazy. There are times it might be worth asking the committee at the outset what the goal of the rule is, and to find a way to circumvent. He could present, you could field questions. Or vice-versa.
Side note: it’s better to be listed as the primary (or sole) author than to field questions. Every time. Because apart from the face time, your name is in print AND you can claim it on your resume for the next 50 years.
LW , never wait to be invited to answer questions. Grad school isn’t grade school, you can’t just divide things by two.
It was a poster session, right? You should be right there next to your coworker, making eye contact, introducing yourself to people, being a part of a conversation. Scientific discussions can contain more than two people! Plus, he left after speaking with 5 people? How many people came by after that? In a normal poster session, over a couple hours, I would expect several dozen, at least. Were you the face of the presentation the rest of the night? Did you give your colleague the verbal credit he deserved for his part of the work? Sounds like you split the time after all.
FYI you didn’t “give” your colleague anything – you charged him for it, with the cost being all this drama. There is a lot of sexism in science, but this isn’t it, and you aren’t going to do yourself any favors by freaking out over this any further.
I’ve had this happen so many times (I am in IT – I think 10% of the IT force is female). I seriously just stopped thinking about things. Everything is out for themselves. You too. Would you have “been nice
and given your colleague a chance to spear if you had a chance to shine?
This really speaks to your need to talk to your advisor, NOT about your officemate’s behavior at the conference, but about your group’s collaboration and authorship policy. If you author another paper with this student, will you get first author this time? What happens if your paper is accepted to the conference, but it’s an oral presentation?
While your officemate should have deflected questions to you, you should have clarified what you wanted- was the agreement to split time or questions? From your actions and conversation with the officemate, it’s not clear which is the case. Rather than say “we should split time or questions,” say “I’m comfortable with you being first author because you’re the senior student. Since we put equal time into this work, we should split the poster time in half. Do you want to take first or second shift?” Make your expectations completely known, rather than a vague “We should do X or Y.” It will lead to less confusion and hurt feelings in the future.
I’m also a grad student and have a hard time being assertive, so I understand where the LW is coming from. I hate potentially causing conflict – I can see why the LW stood aside fuming at the conference (although I do agree that she should have said something). A year or so ago this letter could have come from me.
I’ve had to work to build up the self confidence academically to realize that I also deserve the kind of recognition that the LW gave away. I’ve also had to learn (and am still learning) to never give up that kind of spot. I was recently at a conference where I was the co-author of a paper. After networking with a few people at the conference I realized that I was underselling myself. If anyone asked me if I had a paper at the conference I would say, “Yes, but I’m just a co-author.” I recognized what I was doing and started answering that question with just “yes”.
LW, in the future, if the speaker’s spot or anything like that is offered to you, take it with no apologies. Your colleague would have (and he did).
So, my boyfriend is a science grad student, and, honestly, just about as feminist as they come (without actually really thinking about it) but he would never have handed off questions to another student. In fact, he probably would have figured that if you really wanted to make it in science you would have joined in the conversation, added something that you thought was relevant that the he had somehow managed to miss. By not doing that actually, your fellow grad student probably thinks less of you as a result, probably thinks that you don’t actually understand the science of your paper, which is why he treated you so dismissively.
Don’t tell you PI about it, you’re PI is probably super busy and doesn’t really give a shit
Also, this is not the end of the world, like Wendy said, this is a good learning experience. Academia, as a field, is pretty cut throat and nasty (I’m in in the Humanities) you need to learn how to effectively advocate for yourself if you would like to become a prof some day yourself.
I wonder if the lw is an only child. My siblings definitely prepared me to deal with coworkers!
Sorry, but your colleague didn’t do anything wrong here. Its not up to him to deflect questions to you. And if he is the “presenting author” at your poster session or whatever, I can’t blame the other attendees for asking the questions of him. While it would be nice if he went out of his way to include you in discussions, I don’t think he is in the wrong for not doing it. He probably got caught up in the moment, and you would probably do the same if you were in the same position.
Take this as a lesson learned and next time, do your best to not co-author with anyone. Present your own research, have your own poster. If you have to co-author, stay right by the other’s side and don’t hesitate to jump in to answer questions, even if you think it seems pushy.
In the real world, no one is going to hand you anything. You’ve got to fight and work and claw your way to what you want on your own. Everyone else, including your colleague, is doing it, so if you want to keep up, you are going to have to do it too. Its not easy for folks that are a little more reserved, but its necessary to get anywhere you want to go. Everyone else it watching out for themselves, its time you started doing it too.
Yeah, pretty much agreeing with what everyone else said. Don’t talk to your advisor about him. The time to talk to your advisor would have been *before* this all started, to discuss how to negotiate authorship. You don’t just hand over first author and expect the other person to be nice to you because of it. And OF COURSE everyone was directing their questions towards him at the poster session – he’s the first author! If you wanted to be included in the discussion, you had to insert yourself. Sorry, LW, I know it’s hard to be assertive, I know this from experience, but it’s part of the deal.
I agree with everyone that you shouldn’t have “graciously” given the first presenter title or whatever to your fellow student. There’s no reason to be gracious unless you think it would reflect very badly on you with your higher-ups. I don’t know, it could be some type of unofficial policy at your school, in which case making waves might not help you. Otherwise, you are equally entitled to such a title, and you should fight for it. I have a late birthday, so everyone has always been older to me. Since that doesn’t mean smarter than me, I’ve never thought age should factor in whether someone should get something. If I’m better, I’m better. And I get the feeling that you think you’re better.
I disagree that you didn’t stand up for yourself. You did. You told him, hopefully in a professional way, that it was your turn, and then you fielded the rest of the questions. So why are you still bothered? Because you think he should have been gracious back? Well, this isn’t just career advice, but life advice. It is a waste of time to expect some type of goodwill back from people who you give things too. For your own piece of mind the only thing you should expect from people is gratitude/thanks. Then if they don’t do something in return, you’re not emotionally caught up with it. If they do, it’s a nice surprise. If you want something in return for kindness, then be upfront about it. You aren’t gifting anything, you want to trade, and you should present it that way. If you don’t think you could bear the resentment, if someone does not return your kindness, don’t give things to people.
Part of me feels like you were upset that you had to share at all, and you brought this attitude to everything you did with this student. Well, complaining to your adviser will only make sure people will go without you, not the other way around.
Thought I’d clear a few things up. The questions about the work were general – most people walked directly up to him, without even glancing at me. At no point was any question specifically about my part in the work, we both could speak equally well about the research approach. Interrupting a conversation would have been very pushy and rude. Furthermore, very few of the hundreds of posters had two first authors, making my presence unexpected. Maybe I should have worn heels? Just because I was not noticed does not mean that I was a shrinking violet. There were many posters, I was only able to field one question after I asked him to leave.
I’d also like to add this person was more than a colleague, but a close friend at school who I have confided in and vice-versa. Until this point we had a great and very non-competitive relationship. Though I can only blame myself for being naive, my guard was down because in the previous hour we were laughing and joking as friends. I don’t think expecting a friend to be fair and honest in fulfilling an agreement makes me entitled.
Many of the comments are much appreciated, especially Wendy’s, of course. The only person you can trust is yourself – I forgot that for a moment. I will be sure to be assertive in the future.
Yay! I love when LW’s comment. Sounds like this was a lesson learned to not co-author!!
Ugh, my fiance is in academia and I hate the conference process. Submitting proposals and all the bs that goes along with it. Schmoooozing and what not. I’m so glad I’m not in that world!
Okay, couple words of advice, LW, from a woman in a traditionally male-dominated field. You found yourself in a situation where your presence as a presenter was unexpected, you felt like no one even glanced at you and you felt that “interrupting a conversation would have been very pushy and rude. ” You’re completely incorrect. And, actually, you were a shrinking violet. In that sort of situation, speaking up wouldn’t have been “pushy and rude” it would have been joining the conversation. Instead, you just hung back waiting for an invitation. That invitation will never, ever come. Next time, step up, introduce yourself as the “co-author” and I can guarantee you that you will be included in conversation. And, it won’t be seen as being pushy, it will be seen as you asserting yourself and making your presence known in a situation in which no one expected you to be there. You failed to do that, so you were not included. Stop blaming everyone else for your mistake and making excuses for yourself. It isn’t everyone at the presentation’s fault for not noticing you. It isn’t your colleague’s fault for not introducing you or stepping aside or whatever you think he should have done. You got overlooked because you didn’t make yourself noticed. It is your fault; no one else’s. And, it’s a common mistake. Accept that you made the mistake of not stepping up, though, instead of acting like your colleague did something terrible to you, or else you will do it again.
If you had been an attendee, where would you have looked for an answer…the author, right? It would seem a bit contrived and, frankly, silly for your colleague to answer every question with, “Well, I’ll let x handle this one…” If there were a few co-authored papers, why couldn’t yours have been one? Forcing yourself to be noticed with clothing or heels once again is ineffective…why not simply (losing the co-authorship, which is the best choice, of course) ask him ahead of time to announce that, as co-author, you will be handling the oral section of the paper?
Here is my stereotype: men tend to be direct and unemotional about this stuff. If you clearly agreed on expectations ahead of time, it is a simple matter of, “hey, what gives? You agreed to xyz.” No good answer from him? He is a manipulative jerk, lesson learned. That is on him.
Based on what you say in your letter, you didn’t have an explicit agreement. You may have said in vague terms what you wanted. However, you do not state how he responded. Or exactly how you proposed to handle ensuring joint face time. You said you wanted it…great. But not explicitly… “hey, you take first shift, I’ll take second.” Or, “It would probably work best if you pass questions my direction in this manner, unless you have another idea we can consider.”
I suspect from his perspective, what he saw was a formerly sane colleague who went off on a b…. parade for no apparent reason, leaving him wondering, “What the f… was THAT about?” for the next two days. And then to fume for two weeks? Geez, get over it already. If you don’t like what happened, make sure you learn from it rather than just getting pissed off about it and focusing on him.
Side note, I had the converse of that experience once, and it was a beautiful thing. A sales guy had called me into a client’s office for some technical work. Every question I asked, the client directed an answer to my sales colleague. After this happening for a few minutes, the colleague said, “hey, I don’t know beans about this technical stuff, but I can make copies. How about if I take off and copy these documents while you guys chat?” Brilliant solution that I will never forget.
Okay LW, you’re clearly reading along with the comments, so I have to ask—why are you still not taking any responsibility for being ignored? Why are you wondering if you should’ve worn heels? Nobody mentioned your possible attire. HOWEVER, most people said it would’ve been good to speak up?
Please, please, please, for your own sake…lose the idea that introducing yourself would’ve somehow been rude or pushy. The problem isn’t your shoes. It’s the way you didn’t say anything.
Alsooo, not to pile on with more shit, I see you’re still feeling betrayed? (“my guard was down…we were laughing and joking as friends…”) Why are you guys not friendly anymore? All this guy did was answer questions directed to him. Look, you felt odd speaking out, right? Try imagine that he felt the same. He probably felt odd, in the bustle of everything, being like, “Actually, my CO-AUTHOR here can answer your super general question! Here she is!” you know? So, try to view things with that perspective instead of feeling backstabbed.
NEWSFLASH: If you (seemingly) deliberately set yourself to to be ignored — you’d best be prepared to speak the heck up. Frankly, you come across even dimmer here than you did in your original letter. Seriously, stop expecting the world to politely ask for your precious fucking input. Trust me, the world won’t ever do that. It never, ever does. And so — if you want credit for your fucking work — demand co-authorship. It’s really not rocket science. When did academia start admitting such dimwits?
Based on your clarification, I think there are two issues here. One is how you can be more assertive in a professional environment & another how you’ll handle this with your friend/colleague in particular. Regarding the first, I still think you could have and should have interrupted your colleague’s conversation at some point. It may have been a bit awkward, yes, but standing there fuming is simply no alternative. Regarding the second issue, I’m going to assume for the moment that your friend really was being unfair to you by not actively including you in answering the questions. People are doubting this, saying “how would he know that you wanted to answer a question?”, but I’ll take your word for it that it was clear that he was violating your agreement about handling the questions. If that’s the case, then either talk to him again once you’ve entirely calmed down or reconsider this friendship. If you do the latter I would still not start some sort of war with him though, it’s not worth it.
LW, try hard to find out how to be pushy and and rude without offending people. There is a way to do that and it will be so important for the rest of your career. Also, you are going to realize that colleagues are a different kind of friend. You are saying that this was a great networking opportunity and he took advantage of that. He is trying to network and further his career just like you. How can he pass along people that ask him a question directly? wouldn’t that be wierd and rude?
Take this as a lesson that you are glad you learned so early in your career. You aren’t given opportunities, you take them. The world doesn’t give favors to the fair but to the bold and the aggressive.
Ah yes, and I won’t be telling my advisor. I shall come back to this thread when I need a little inspiration to out-perform him in our reasearch 🙂
I’m not going to berate the LW for not being assertive enough. It’s a lesson you learn, and she’s learned it. Personally, I don’t see what the guy did as cutthroat. I assume that he probably expected you to jump in and answer questions, and you didn’t. It’s not his job to make sure you speak up. And if you were fuming and demanding that he leave, I can see why he’s angry at you. Like everyone said, don’t tell your adviser. He doesn’t care, and it’ll make you look bad.
That said, just because you have to look out for yourself doesn’t make someone who does something *actually* cutthroat any less douchey. It’s like when someone steals your iPhone. You probably shouldn’t have been waving it around on a dark street, but they still STOLE your phone, and it’s still wrong.
Good grief, LW. I’m also a woman in a science grad program and I think you’re over-reacting. Maybe it works differently at your school, but at mine, which is super competitive and high profile, we are encouraged to collaborate and help our colleagues. Of course there can be disputes about things like this, but I have never once squabbled with a lab-mate about who deserves to be “first author”; it’s usually pretty apparent, or we’ve done equal shares of the work. And that poster session sounds bizarre, typically we get so many people at conferences etc coming by people’s posters that it would be an advantage to have two people to explain it. I don’t understand why you just stood there and didn’t take any initiative.
Yes, there is sometimes sexism in grad school, but Wendy’s response was perfect. Get used to facing challenges, but don’t leap to “it’s unfair'” or “sexism!”, because no one will take you seriously. ESPECIALLY your PI. Do not whine to them.
Also, this “me! Me! I deserve credit!” attitude that happens in science is ridiculous. Science, in my opinion, is about expanding human understanding of how the world works. It’s not about wasting time obsessing about if you’ll get credit. Be proactive to make sure you earn it, and otherwise don’t worry about it.
This is an interesting debate among career women- on the one hand you want to take responsibility for your career and live in the real world and deal with the workplace as it is, but on the other hand, is the long term answer that we all act like men? Is the ideal really a world where people lie to each other and manipulate them and behave aggressively? I’m of the opinion that you can get ahead and be moral and kind and have a backbone.
He may have stabbed you in the back – but you handed him the knife. Next time – do better. No one is interested in your success darling – just you. So if you want to succeed then act that way. And stop seething at your colleague and take responsibility that the fault of what happened rests with both of you.
I’ll take it one step further and suggest that you find good ways to cope with the stress that comes with being a grad student in a highly competitive field. For me, it’s when I’m STRESSED OUT that I take things so PERSONALLY. Someone cuts me off in traffic, someone forgets to call me back… it’s all on purpose, they’re all out to get me, etc, etc. It’s only when I recognize that I’m just stressed the fuck out that I can look at things from a different perspective.
It sounds like that’s the main issue here. You think “Twerp” (maybe should have re-thought the name you gave him in order to sound a bit more mature, haha) purposefully left you out and hurt your career and you feel like he owes you an apology and even an admonishing from your advisor. You think he deserves future punishment at the next conference! You’re taking it personally when it really wasn’t. Maybe he wasn’t even that snarky or sarcastic to you (or that’s just his personality that wouldn’t have bothered you before the incident) or maybe you confronted him so strongly and harshly that it was appropriate. Twerp didn’t sit there and consciously think “I’m gonna screw the LW over today and not give her any questions”. He just went with the flow of things at the conference and focused on himself and his career. It was about HIM, not about YOU.
Try to look at the situation from a different angle. Take some deep breaths, go for a run, do some yoga, do whatever it takes to manage your stress and then try to let it go and move forward. If it continues to bother you, channel it into your work. You’ve gotta sit next to this guy for several more years, so it’s in your best interest to let it go.
I’m curious to know why you won’t rekindle the friendship if you won’t mind expanding on that a little bit.
Yay, I helped! I don’t think you need to explain why you no longer want to be friends with the guy. The fact that you even considered him a true friend to begin with makes the betrayal you feel more valid (or at least make sense). A friend you collaborated with would want to make sure you were included in the questions while a colleague wouldn’t care. I think you’re learning the hard way that professional friendships are very different than other friendships. Work/competition almost always takes precedence. That doesn’t mean you can’t still joke and be friendly while working together, but when it comes down to the actual work, understand that you’re colleagues and competitors first.
My graduate degree is in English, and there was none of this backstabbing in our department. It’s not that we were better people. It was simply understood that there was no reason to take credit for anyone else’s work, because there was no way whatsoever to judge the relative worth/worthlessness of your work versus theirs. I am confident that the only person who ever read my thesis was my father in law, and don’t ask me why he wanted to.
You didn’t get stabbed in the back. You didn’t stand up for yourself and are redirecting the anger you have at yourself for not being more assertive at your colleague. Get over it and move on. Rock your next paper and presentation, do not allow yourself to be trampled on. You are better than that.
Welcome to the real world, sweetie. Put your big girl pants on and stop being “generous”. Many will interpret generous for “doormat”. And that is exactly what this guy may have done. Or, when you left, he took that for “she walked out on OUR presentation/Q&A session”.
This was a valuable learning experience. Find a strong female in either the workforce or in academia who can help you develop your assertive side appropriately. Perhaps a business coach of some sort. You are going to need it.
Stop fuming. Don’t get mad. This guy did what came naturally to him. You cannot blame Scorpion for being Scorpion, can you Toad? Since you survived, yes, do speak to whomever you need to and work out something that will ensure that you have more face-time and a voice at the next presentation, but seriously work with a female instructor to help you work on your assertiveness within a male-dominated workforce. Otherwise, you may always be marginalized.
You offered to let him present…I apologize on the mix-up there, but he didn’t force you to. You CHOSE to let that happen without figuring out any other way of deciding who go to present. You relinquished that. That’s on you.
Sorry, but “presenting author” means “presenting author”. If people walk up to the poster, they are more likely to approach the person whose name is first/has the asterisk. Should he have punted some questions your way in order to include your further in the discussion? Probably. But the fact of the matter is that when people see a name listed first, they will assume that person is the one they should be talking to.
And please don’t think I’m trying to be rude about this, I just think you’re sounding a bit naive. There’s a reason why long discussions/arguments happen when it comes to the order of authors in publications.
I’m one of the few other science PhDs here, so I feel comfortable enough weighing in and saying your labmate was a dick. Next time, don’t give him an inch on anything important; he’s not trustworthy. You can probably trust him not to sabotage your cell cultures or anything, but not when it comes to giving due credit.
Unlike everyone else, I’d say this stuff is really important, esp. if you’re looking to become a PI. Credit does matter until you get tenure. Speaking up matters. I think it’s bullshit to say he can’t be blamed a la the scorpion and the frog… he certainly should’ve been more professional. Ultimately, though, you’re going to learn not to open yourself up to be stung, so he’s probably given you a gift by doing this early. After all, you could’ve been scooped or your cell cultures contaminated or betrayed in another really serious way. This is small, and a good early lesson. Watch your back, speak up for yourself, and keep your foot on the gas. This is a long road you’re traveling, and it doesn’t get easier.
“I let him take the title out of generosity even though I am an equal contributor to the work.” If you keep doing that ppl will just steal all your work away, with your permission! And next time just speak up instead of waiting for the other person to re-direct questions to you. And telling your boss or whatever will not help you.
Perfect answer Wendy!
This is not an example of being backstabbed or “cut-throat” academia. It is a prime example of your bad judgment. Why on Earth would you allow someone else to take full credit for your ideas? And why would you expect this person NOT to jump at the chance to do so, especially after you gave consent? This is a prime example of people caring more about what their peers think about them than focusing on their overall wellbeing. Never, ever give another person credit for your work, because guess what?! They will take it, especially if it gives them a chance to advance their career or reach their goals faster. You made a big mistake and now you are facing the consequences. Take this as a lesson learned that you need to forget about “being nice” and you need to work hard to prove your worth in your industry and never, ever put another person’s goals and career advances ahead of your own.
Yep, and it goes for self-employment as well! One week I had 3 new clients on my calendar which is great! I thought to myself “Yay! I have a great week coming up and I can’t wait to work with these new clients!” Well a day later ALL THREE cancelled! I was sure that I had a dark cloud over my head that day. Come to find out that a colleague who has similar education to me, but a new grad brand new in town with a small start up practice was running a daily deal that week. I think that my would be clients went to her! The sad thing is that the companies that run the daily deals ask you to discount your fees by about 75% and then they take half! So this colleague, with 8 years of professional education is making only $10 an hour ( where we usually make about $170/hour!) So she kind of wrecked it for all of us including herself! And most of the “daily deal” shoppers are looking for deals and WON’T become regular clients…. Can’t blame them, but this is the sort of thing you can run up against every day. Even after doing this for over 20 years… You have to be tough and you have to be a bitch and set strong boundaries sometimes.
Sorry this has nothing to do with being a woman. People are like that in the real world. Be ready to go to bat, or get left behind. Like Wendy said, everyone’s competing. It pays to be nice, but it sometimes it pays even more to realize it’s a dog-eat-dog world.
Women do this to each other. Men do this to each other. People do this to each other. Don’t try to turn this into some sort of issue.
That’s just my perspective.
PhD neuroscientist here. I personally don’t understand why you’re so upset. You let him be presenting author. If you wanted that, you should have fought for that. When you asked him to leave the poster so you could present, he did. For the next conference, ask to have your own poster. If you’re really worried, double check with your PI about being first co-authors on any paper that comes from your work—maybe start campaigning to be the first listed co-author. Apply for travel grants for a conference so you can justify having your own poster. Whatever you do, don’t go to your PI, complaining that you let your labmate be presenting author, and then he did a good job of it. You’ll sound ridiculous.